Disappointment in friends?

staycb01 · August 2012

Has anyone else experienced a lot of let downs and disappointments with friends so far? I feel like I've really learned a lot so far on who we can really count on being there for us and who are real friends verses the ones that aren't around or who we can't count on to be there for us. I have a few friends who we used to be a little closer but i moved father away (maybe 35 mins away) a couple of years back and I still went to all of their showers and bachelorette parties and whatnot and none of them came to mine. none of them even really had a valid excuse either. Just more in general of dissapointment in those who I thought were good friends.....

LDubHawksFan · August 2012

Yep....mine is a lot further away, but yes. I actually posted yesterday about something similar. I know it's unreasonable for everyone to drop everything to come, especially to the pre-parties, but it still stings.

Alisha9544 · August 2012

Oh big time. It really sucks discovering the people you thought were your best friends are the ones who are MIA when you need them.

rlr02 · August 2012

Originally I felt selfish for thinking like this but its nice to see I'm not the only one who feels this way......

jessiflower · August 2012

I have experienced this as well...but I would also like to say, that there have been friends who have really stepped up in the middle of all this....friends that I didn't think would play as much of a role in help and support as they have....here's to redefining our friendships....

LDubHawksFan · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_disappointment-in-friends?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:1d7baf33-a3c7-49c7-a3ae-5f4b9e098355Post:ffd5e04e-5b44-4ba6-b229-6b476744ece7">Re: Disappointment in friends?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have experienced this as well...but I would also like to say, that there have been friends who have really stepped up in the middle of all this....friends that I didn't think would play as much of a role in help and support as they have....here's to redefining our friendships....
Posted by jessiflower[/QUOTE]

I agree. I want to clarify that I'm not upset with wedding party or even close friends that have offered to help because I never expected them to do anything! I haven't really taken many up on the help because I realize that the little details aren't much fun. I've only been disappointed with those who aren't able to come to the wedding.....which justified or not, I can't help but be a little diappointed. Oh well, the day will go on!!

mana8503 · August 2012

Just one in particular... but I think it's shown me who are my true friends, and who I might need to let go

cbear215 · August 2012

I agree with PPs, for me, there is just one in particular. And sad to say, it may just be time to let her go. I've also been amazed at what some of my other friends and family have been willing to do for us...

[Deleted User] · August 2012

Ditto to what everyone has said!

halij52002 · August 2012

Yes, it truly has shown me who my real friends are. I don't feel selfish for thinking this either. I understand that people have lives outside of my wedding, but seriously showing a little consideration for your FRIEND (I wont even say bride) shouldn't be so tough. Ugh, whatever. It is what it is... I just know regardless of what happens between my 'friends' and I that I will always have my husband and this is what it's about.

pengy16 · August 2012

Mine is a bridesmaid who had basically dropped off the face of the earth unless its about her. As soon as I told her the wedding wasn't going to be a college reunion for her, I haven't heard much back. She invited fi and I to the beach, said we would go just to let us know the details and then hadn't heard anything back from her, saw the pics on facebook where she went without us. I haven't heard anything from her in months until she sent me a facebook invite to her new job party downtown in the middle of the week at 10pm two weeks ago. I have to be at work the next morning at 6am... So I declined, around the same time my bridal shower invite went out and still no response from her. So I'm sending out her invite but I'm sure I will get no response or a decline to my wedding. I basically have given up on her, I have planned the wedding for her not to be in the bridal party and potentially not even at the wedding.

RockstarWifey0912 · August 2012

I figured a lot of this out when I was pregnant with my son. The people who did care, showed it. The ones who didn't, well, I don't talk to them much anymore. It stings but oh well.

staycb01 · August 2012

I was going to ask are any of you letting those fake "friends" go after the wedidng? I was going to start cutting ties at that point. It's really sad.... but i don't need nor want those fake "friends" in my life. I'd rather keep the real ones close to me and let the others go. I can only imagine what it's like once you have kids like RockStarWifey has said....

insanityofamom · August 2012

Yes. My "first" wedding (the one that got cancelled) I had two bridesmaids. I picked cute and affordable bridesmaid dresses, and even wanted to come up to schedule a day out with them to try dresses on (I live six hours away....) They were evasive, and hemmed and hawed about the costs. I had made a facebook group about the wedding, and neither of them even commented to me when I deleted the group or asked me what happen to my plans - to this day - they both act like it never happened. Way to show your real colors there. I was devasted when the wedding was cancelled (due to financial reasons). The original wedding had a much higher guest list - I cut about 40-45% of the guest list down to just essential family and friends and we are also not having any "pre-wedding" parties - no shower, bachelor or bachelorette parties. Less hassle, less disappointment.

fjw2012 · August 2012

Just one bridesmaid. She seems to care very little about anything to do with my wedding. For example just a few days ago I posted a link to our e-pics and instead of posting that she liked them, she posted a comment about how she thinks my FI unfriended her. To be fair, he really doesnt care for her and he may have, but that's his choice. Why she felt an appropriate place to talk about it was on my FB page is beyond me. It stings even more because I worked very hard as her MOH to make sure her big day was perfect. I'm not asking them to do anything, but a little excitement for me would be appreciated.

tracey525 · August 2012

I have felt the same - some of my friends have stepped WAY up and gone above and beyond in ways I'd never even hoped. Others, not so much. For example, a few of the girls we invited were some of my best friends for years and we spent ALL of our time together. In recent years, they've mostly moved away, and we have less and less contact with each other (though most of them have stayed close. Guess it's just me!). None of them are coming to the shower or b-party, which is a bit of a bummer. As I mentioned, we're just not that close anymore, which has me wondering if/how things will change after the wedding.

Disappointment in friends?

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