What to do about the garter?!

Re: What to do about the garter?!

• keepsawaythenargles member

  

  July 2012

  We're skipping it. It's a first "gay wedding" for most people we're inviting. I'm wearing the dress. She's wearing a suit...I think it would make everyone, plus us, uncomfortable...but it's really a personal preference. I think I will wear one and have her "retrieve" it later when we're in our hotel

  

  Report0 Reply
• 2dBride member

  

  July 2012 edited July 2012

  I had a garter toss at my first wedding.  It was totally uncomfortable, if only because the guys ran away to avoid catching the garter.  Plus, I'm not fond of the symbolism of either of the tosses--the idea that people are so desperate to get married that they will fight each other for the honor of being next.
  
  At my second wedding, both NotFroofy and I wore garters.  (They were our "something blue.")  However, there was no tossing of either bouquets or garters.
  
  On the other hand, if you want to do it, I wouldn't be deterred by what people will think.  People who are there for a same-sex wedding ought to be able to deal with the same traditions as they would see at a wedding of an opposite-sex couple.

  
  Our wedding bio page (including vendor reviews) and items for sale

  Report0 Reply
• jayetheartist

  

  July 2012

  We ran all the traditional wedding customs through a little set of questions to decide whether we wanted to keep them or scrap them:
  
  Does this have any meaning to us?
  Will it make us happy to do this?
  Are we going to miss this if we don't include it?
  
  The garter and bouquet tosses got no on all three, so we aren't doing them.  I think if you have to think hard about whether want to do a garter toss, it's probably not something you need to do.  Your guests won't miss it if you don't.

  

  Report0 Reply
• mercurybebe

  

  July 2012

  I have gone back and forth about this too...my fiance is wearing a dress, I am wearing a tux.  She wants to do bouquet toss and garter...I am not sure.  I am normally embarrassed easily anyway...heck, the 1st dance has me terrified! LOL  I don't care so much about people's level of comfort though...

  ***HAPPILY MARRIED 10-11-12***

  Report0 Reply
• sggeiger member

  

  July 2012

  I hate the garder toss at straight weddings, so it's definitely not on the agenda for my own. It's just kinda tacky to do in front of your family and mixed company, IMO. 

  
  

  I do like the idea of wearing it for a private "retrieval" later, though. 

  
  

  

  Click here to view my F.A.Q./Gay Wedding Etiquette..

  Report0 Reply
• LuckeeClover member

  

  July 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_gay-weddings_what-to-do-about-the-garter?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:44Discussion:66845754-8f8f-409c-a8b0-5cf4827d85cdPost:f54aabcc-9e08-4587-87d9-fc04d235919f">Re: What to do about the garter?!</a>:
  [QUOTE]I have gone back and forth about this too...my fiance is wearing a dress, I am wearing a tux.  She wants to do bouquet toss and garter...I am not sure.  I am normally embarrassed easily anyway...heck, the 1st dance has me terrified! LOL  I don't care so much about people's level of comfort though...
  Posted by mercurybebe[/QUOTE]
  
  That's exactly how I feel too! I usually avoid being in the "spotlight" and even standing in front of everyone is scaring me. I am excited to have this day, but none the less, very scared. We have discussed this more, and I don't think we'll be doing either the bouquet toss or garter toss.

  Report0 Reply
• scottsmith73

  

  October 2012

  I'd skip it.  Tradition isn't mandatory.  You also should consider how many single men/woman will be at your wedding to begin with.

  Report0 Reply
• JENAMANDA

  

  January 2013

  If it is something important to you then sure, have fun with it, I know des that they will blindfold the bridegroom and put a guy on the seat with a hairy leg lol and then laugh about it and then have the bride sit and do it for real, it's all about how comfortable you are, it's YOUR DAY!! Do what you want don't think about what others think or don't want to see they are there for you, it might even open their eyes to reality, me and my partner don't express PDA in front of people we don't know but your wedding guests know you so it should be comfortable I want to do things traditionally but yet with our own flare so everyone knows we aren't any different than them!

  Report0 Reply