Children at the wedding.

daisy0309 · April 2010

My fiancee and I would like a child-free wedding/reception. How would we go about wording that? And where would you request that? On the invitation? On an enclosure in the invitation??

danieliza1127 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_children-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:020e744d-7740-48ee-b6e5-077773a08d81Post:4cf4c86e-743e-4ef0-a4f9-90be3b611577">Re: Children at the wedding.</a>:
[QUOTE]Obviously, you'd write it on the envelopes. But you might want to word it somehow in the invite/save-the-date. Maybe for a save-the-date make it say something like "a sophisticated soiree" or use keywords that mean "no kids" or just make an astrick at the bottom saying "formal attire, no children" or soemthing like that
Posted by christinelyn0131[/QUOTE]

That's actually considered poor etiquette. The proper way to convey no children is to simply address the invitation to the adults only. Spread by word of mouth that it's adults only. If anyone sends in the RSVP card with their kids names on it, it's your responsibility (or your parents if they're hosting) to call the person and explain that the wedding is adults only.

Yes and Roxy is right, expect people to be hurt or upset or to try to convince you to make an exception for their kids. Know ahead of time that you aren't going to cave and make exceptions or you're in for trouble. Expect that some people might decline the invitation if they can't bring their kids. It just happens that way sometimes.

MyNameIsNot · April 2010

Ditto PPs. Putting anything about adults only or no kids on or in the invitation is rude.

If you think your guests are too dense to read the envelope, you can word you RSVP card so that there isn't a place, like:

John Smith ___ will attend ___ will not attend

Mary Smith ___ will attend ___ will not attend

Then just leave the kids off.

julesmarie1030 · April 2010

We are having an adults only reception and in addition to only putting the parents names on the envelope we are putting on the reply cards something like ____ # of people will attend. That way we can tell if they are planning on bringing their kids and if they are we can let them know that it is adults only so they can either make babysitting arrangements or decline to come.

nda_roxybabe · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_children-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:020e744d-7740-48ee-b6e5-077773a08d81Post:8d56679a-6ad2-480f-8810-02d3b0bf4906">Re: Children at the wedding.</a>:
[QUOTE]"Rude" or not, my reception cards will say something along the lines of, "Due to limited seating, we respectfully ask that only children of the bride and groom's families be in attendance."
Posted by ally117[/QUOTE]
That is very rude.

Lasairiona · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_children-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:020e744d-7740-48ee-b6e5-077773a08d81Post:8d56679a-6ad2-480f-8810-02d3b0bf4906">Re: Children at the wedding.</a>:
[QUOTE]"Rude" or not, my reception cards will say something along the lines of, "Due to limited seating, we respectfully ask that only children of the bride and groom's families be in attendance."
Posted by ally117[/QUOTE]
Very rude. Don't be offended if some people decline altogether because you refuse to be a proper host.

When did people start deciding that being rude is the only way to be and don't care what other people think who are justifiably offended by such inexcusable behavior?

MyNameIsNot · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_children-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:020e744d-7740-48ee-b6e5-077773a08d81Post:8d56679a-6ad2-480f-8810-02d3b0bf4906">Re: Children at the wedding.</a>:
[QUOTE]"Rude" or not, my reception cards will say something along the lines of, "Due to limited seating, we respectfully ask that only children of the bride and groom's families be in attendance."
Posted by ally117[/QUOTE]

<div>Not "rude". Just rude. </div><div>
</div><div>If you are happy being rude to your guests, that's your business. But most people actually prefer to have a little class. </div>

lizziemoopsc · April 2010

We addressed it to only those invited, and on the RSVP hand wrote in names and places available, so the guests would only check will attend or will not attend. They will have to cross something out to include someone else, so hopefully that will get the point across. If not, and someone does RSVP having written in extra guests, unfortunately then call them and politely explain who the invitation was for. HTH!

ally117 · April 2010

Wow, apparently I have struck a nerve with a couple of you guys... For those of you who chose to respond to my post instead of that of the person asking, I'll thank "sdvora" for being polite.

"MyNameIsNot," I don't know how you can imply that I have no class when you don't know me or the kind of person I am.

"Lasairiona" I have by no means "decided that being rude is the only way to be..." You don't know the people I am inviting or the circumstances surrounding the invitations.

I'll admit, I am shocked by how strongly some of you feel about my post. I've received an "adults-only" invitation to a wedding, and I don't remember the bride describing any back-lash or ill-will from anyone. I haven't printed or sent out invitations, and I certainly will do what I can to ensure that no one's feelings are hurt. If you thought my post was rude, maybe you could have offered another idea instead of attacking me personally. Just a thought...

flutgrl1 · April 2010

People are idiots. Rude or not. They need it spelled out. Somewhere it needs to be clearly stated either on the STD or the invite that it is "adults only" otherwise people will show up with kids

Lasairiona · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_children-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:020e744d-7740-48ee-b6e5-077773a08d81Post:442ca064-7a06-4a16-9699-e936cea97894">Re: Children at the wedding.</a>:
[QUOTE] If you thought my post was rude, maybe you could have offered another idea instead of attacking me personally. Just a thought...
Posted by ally117[/QUOTE]
Go back and reread the entire thread. <strong><em>No where</em></strong> were you attacked personally. You asked a question and in turn were given advice on why not to mention this in the invites themselves, because it is a breach of etiqutte, and "special circumstances and guests" don't change that no matter how much you want them to. If you choose not to follow it, that's solely on you, no one else. You're actually getting off easy on this board since the other boards will rip you to shreds.

aerinpegadrak · April 2010

Since this is an etiquette question, you should probably ask on the Etiquette board. They're much nicer over there, I promise.

ygonzalez13 · April 2010

We also want a child-free reception, for the exception of our daughter who is the flower girl and her cousin who is the ringer bearer (which I will provide child care so the sister in law can have fun) we printed on the left hand corner of invite "Adult Reception".
Hope that helps.

tommyandy · April 2010

If your event is at or near a hotel maybe you can rent a hospitality suite with a couple of sitters & 'have sitters available' on your invite or website. Another way to be kid free is to get married late in the day & have the reception after 8pm.

However, you should expect OOT guests to come with their little angels in tow or to decline to attend.

banana468 · April 2010

It's never approprate to write who you AREN'T inviting. Wording like 'adult reception' or "no children" is rude and insulting to the people who actually know how to read.

And if you're having your own child but writing Adult Reception then you're rude AND lying.

jadezth · April 2010

I would write in the save the date invite that it will be a adult reception with the exception of the kids in the bridal party. You can ask them to apologize you for any inconvenience. This will also make them feel like you do care and feel sorry for having to make this decision. That way guests are not offended when they see a few littles ones in the reception. Is hard because if someone has a baby and like me I had to travel for my cousins' wedding I didnt have who to leave my baby with so she let me bring him besides,I brought my stroller and he didnt need a chair. No additional plate was needed to be ordered since I brought his baby food and bottles so it wasn't an additional cost for the bride and groom. All my family live in a different states than I do and the wedding was going be at another state so a situation like mine was understandable. I guess if people want to go they will be supportive, respect your decision, and make the necessary accomodations and come to this important event.

Children at the wedding.

Re: Children at the wedding.

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