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Texas-Austin

Mama in law Drama

So what would an engagement be without a little drama from his mama?!! Ok-- disclaimer-- I am going to vent a little-- and mostly bc the FI hasn't heard about it yet. He is sleeping after working till 6 am.

So-- FI and I were engaged before and we had to cancel our wedding the first time around. When we decided we were going to move forward with the wedding, I called all the old vendors back to see if my deposits could be shifted to our now date. Everyone agreed, but the venue told us they would only apply half because they said they couldn't re-book our date.

When we first chose that venue, I gave them a check for a deposit, and thought she was going to email the contract to me. When I asked about them, she told me that they do not do contracts. (I know everyone is like what!?) So I talked it over with the FI and we both agreed it would be poor business for us to go with them. FI called and asked them to write a contract, and they said they would get back to us. One week later, she calls him and tells him that I need to write the contract. At this point, we bail and find another venue. We decide to cut our losses with the old venue.

So today, I wake up-- and FI's mother has written an email to the old venue threatening to take them to court, and she sends it from her work email, which she happens to work for a law firm. I am majorly mad about this, because we told her we were not interested in starting drama with them. She emails me and tells me has sent it... and I am just frustrated because she ignored the choice we made.

Old Venue writes her back, and CC's me, basically telling her that they can not talk to her, as she did not make the payment on the deposit, and that I would have to contact them. Now I am all tangled up in this drama-- and I really just wanted to move on, without looking back. UGH!!!!! I know she was just trying to help, but it really makes me wonder if this is a glimpse into my future. Not cool.. not cool..

Re: Mama in law Drama

  • edited December 2011

    It seems like she is trying to help BUT if you two had already made a decision then she should have left it alone. I also think everything we see now with our FMIL's is a glimpse into the future.

    Baby Jaxon born 8/18/2012 @ 9:53am, 7lb 2oz!! At 37 weeks 5 days due to Pre-E via C-section.Baby Birthday Ticker Tickerimageimage
  • akg0053akg0053 member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Your FI needs to speak to her and tell her that it is absolutely unacceptable for her to side-step your decisions. I would just say something like "mom, we know that you were just trying to help, but we had already expressed our decision to move on to another venue, and not create drama with the old one. Please respect our decisions."

    If nothing is said, this could set a dangerous precedent for the future. I say this because back when we had an issue with FMIL, FI didn't handle it effectively and she did stuff similar to the original issue all the time. FI finally sat down with her, and things have been better.

    Good luck!
    118 image
    Not caring about missing RSVPs because there aren't any rocks!
  • edited December 2011
    Ughhh!! I think it has eveything to do with the age age between FI and I. We have a 6 year age gap, and they still tend to step into his life, where as I am going on 30 years old, and no one ever steps in for me. This has been a constant little bugger for me, because I sometimes don't think they see me as a woman--- but a girl. I am raising a 4 year old daughter, and it just doesn't seem to occur that I can make my own choices without consent. I am glad to know I am not the only one...but I agree-- FI needs to work it out with her, because it is not my battle to fight.
  • akg0053akg0053 member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Oh BabyBlue I'm so sorry :o(


    118 image
    Not caring about missing RSVPs because there aren't any rocks!
  • edited December 2011
    Well, try and think positive - at least you know she is willing (and has no fear, appropriate or not) to go to bat for you when she feels there is "wrong" being perpetrated. Some day you may need it. :)
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    From the details you've shared, it does just sound like she was trying to help, but I agree with other posts. If it was already made clear to her that you both decided to cut your losses, then what was she thinking? Maybe hearing about the issues made her mad and her reaction was an angry one that you'd lose money to someone like that. I do agree with PP though, your FI needs to make sure she understands that it isnt her place to fight your battles unless you ask for her help. Good Luck! Surely things will get better, right?
    image
  • edited December 2011
    He talked to her this evening. She apologized profusely to him, and promised to not step in anymore. My favorite part of this---

    FI jokingly told her "mom you need to cut the cord" and she said--- I know!!

    Fantastic! Thanks guys for the support!!
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