I don't know how to feel

bridezillatobe2009 · February 2012

So my cousin, who got engaged about a year ago just decided this week that they're going to get married June 9th. So now she's stressed about money and everything wedding in less than 4 months.

She is also standing up for me at our wedding, and it's getting to the time where I would like to order bridesmaid dresses and I feel guilty putting that cost on her while she's now trying to plan her wedding on the cheap.

My mom says I shouldn't feel guilty, but I don't know? Advice?

mamameech · February 2012

You have no need to feel guilty! If you hadn't asked her yet, I'd consider giving her the option seeing as she's now planning her own wedding, but she knew before she decided to have a June wedding right?
Either way tho, talk to her and ask her if she's still able to do it. I know that if she backed out on me at this point, I'd feel a little hurt but at least you'd know now and not in June kwim?

AshnRobo · February 2012

I wouldn't feel bad. They have been engaged for a while. If she accepted being in your wedding before she set her date, then you have nothing to worry about. They picked a date that was super close and knew their financial situation. That isn't on you.

junebug19 · February 2012

I agree with PP, she is the one that agreed to be a BM and then chose a wedding date that may affect her ability to follow thru. I too think you need to talk to her and ask her.

BMcLeodTeam · February 2012

Don't feel guilty! They have known your date, and they have been engaged for awhile and could have been saving up. If they decide its too much, she'll let you know I'm sure

CowgirlK39 · February 2012

I know how you feel. My FSIL has been engaged for over 3 years, and after we got engaged, she began frantically trying to finally plan her wedding. We picked a date, and shortly after, her FI decided, out of thin air, that they will get married almost exactly a month before us. Luckily, we are not in each other's WP's so that's not an issue. But if I were you I would do as PP's said and just give her the option to let you know if its too much at once.

romamor4 · February 2012

I understand your feelings of guilt, even though she accepted fully knowing your plans. I would probably feel guilty too. That doesn't mean you should feel guilty though. You have done nothing wrong and shouldn't feel guilty. It is nice that you are concerned for your friend but it really isn't your responsibility to worry about it.

volleygurl0306 · February 2012

Agree with PP. Talk to her but none of the blame is on you. THey chose to put themselves in a stressful situation. If she does back out it is understandle to be hurt. But, focus your energy on the people who are following thru on their promises and figure it is one less BM gift you have to save up for!

bridezillatobe2009 · February 2012

thanks ladies!

SCogs18 · February 2012

Don't feel bad. You asked her to be a bridesmaid long before she chose to put herself in a financial crunch and has *hopefully* already budgeted for the dress for your wedding. When a bridesmaid agrees to be in a wedding, she is aware that there will be a financial obligation. Try not to worry. As long as you have already discussed bridesmaid dress budget with her and you are being respectful of that you don't need to feel guilty.

I don't know how to feel

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