FI is making me uncomfortable

mmmendi · September 2012

First, he wanted a head table at our cake and punch reception. Today, I catch on that he expects to open gifts at our reception. I just want to cry. Not only do I not WANT to (capitalization for emphasis, I'm not yelling at you!), I just feel badly. No one wants to see that! They wan to have yum cake an go! I really need to know that I am not crazy, or that it's no biggie. What say you? Do I need to make time to open gifts?

reagane02 · September 2012

No. Traditionally that is done afterwards. Just make sure to send your thank you notes/cards as soon as possible.

marisolgarcia1 · September 2012

Let him know your feelings. be resonable with him. explain that opening gifts take time. I am opening my gifts the day afterwood.

achiduck · September 2012

Gifts are only opened at showers. If you need to rationalize it to him, tell him that (most) people nowadays give cash, cheques or gift cards so opening a cash envelope and saying "thanks for the $200 Aunt Sally!" is going to make Aunt Sue who might only be able to afford $50 feel like crap.

Plus some people have gifts sent to the home before or shortly after the wedding so it'll be pretty obvious that there's nothing there from.

poison+kisses · September 2012

Try to get him to look at it from the point of view of a guest and how awkward/boring it would be for them. Having to sit there and watch you open every.single. gift and card would get really boring really fast. And as mentioned above, how you'd feel if you couldn't afford to spend as much as others, particularly when the gift is straight up cash. Or worse, to see the couple be really excited with a gift, then open yours only to look unimpressed. Ouch. "Oh my god! Granny Smith is paying for our honeymoon!!!...... And Bobby gave us a gravy boat".

lyradimer · September 2012

That would be super awkward, for you and the guests. Gifts should be opened privately later. The reception should be about thanking your guests, not putting them on the spot. You are very right.

SomethingBeautiful08 · September 2012

Have you ever been to a wedding where they have opened gifts? If anyone did that I didn't notice, and I agree that it would be awkward. I'd let the FH know that while I'm sure he is excited right now for the gifts, that you want that day focused on you guys, your love for eachother and spending time with your guests. I'd explain the awkewardness part of this. Also keep in mind that if people want to see your reaction to a gift, they will either give it durring a shower where gift opening is normal or they will ask you to open it. In that case you can always pull that person aside briefly to open the gift and thank them before returning to the rest of the guests.

SomethingBeautiful08 · September 2012

You can also compromise if he wants an audience and say that you'll plan a "gift opening" party where you can gather your very close family and have them watch you open gifts shortly after your honeymoon. I've heard of that done as well

mmmendi · September 2012

I haven't hardly been on since I posted. Thank you all for the reassurance and so very much for the suggestions to redirect him - so that he can understand the point of view of a guest. He, admittedly, has only been to one wedding. Thank you so much!

FI is making me uncomfortable

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