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Bridal Shower

UxposedUxposed
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
My brother advised me one day his soon to be wife wants us( me and my sister)  to throw her bridal shower.  My sister was excited and said she would. I on the other hand have concerns. 1) they have financial issues, housing issues and parenting issues and 2) neither me or my sister are in the wedding when asked she advised that her bridesmaids are throwing her a bachelorette party later that night.  I know my sister has reached out and has received the guest list and excited about planning this with my assistance.  Oh and she has also advised us on what day to have it. I do like her she has been apart of our family for a long while but she has yet to even readh out to me and ask.

How do I proceed?  I support the marriage, just not the hoopla that is being planned.
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Re: Bridal Shower

  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    If you don't want to throw the shower, don't.  Let your sister know that you won't be co-hosting, and that she can continue on her own or she can find another co-host. You may need to mention to your brother that you are not in a position to give them a shower right now.  You don't need to give him an explanation.  

    None of your reasons for not wanting to throw it make sense, but it doesn't really matter.  Showers are completely optional gifts, and it was terribly rude of your brother to ask for one.  
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  • JerseyMLJerseyML member
    100 Comments
    edited October 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-shower-28?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c65038db-7a17-4300-a81d-d0dbc75e066dPost:4398ccfa-8ba6-4079-9fd9-857fdc67d682">Bridal Shower</a>:
    [QUOTE]) neither me or my sister are in the wedding when asked she advised that her bridesmaids are throwing her a bachelorette party later that night.
    Posted by Uxposed[/QUOTE]


    Wait..a shower and a bachelorette party on the same day?  WHY?!?!?!?!?!
    "Do I look like a killer to you?" "Yes, you kill my patience." -Castle
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  • TriSaratops10TriSaratops10
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    I've been to a shower/bachelorette combo - it was kinda weird, but efficient I suppose...
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  • polichikpolichik member
    2500 Comments
    Ok, the bride has no business asking for a shower. I'd just decline.
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  • squirrlysquirrly member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    It sounds like the groom asked, not the bride.  So, I don't fault the bride for that.

    Your reasons for not wanting to host don't make sense.  You don't want her to have a shower because they have a housing issue? And because there are financial issues?  Um, a shower is to give her gifts - if they have financial issues, why not help her out with china and towels? 

    Also, it's not necessary to be a BM to throw a shower.  It sounds sort of petty, to me, on your part. 

    That said - it's not required that you throw her a shower.  But honestly, if your sister is and you don't, you're going to kind of look bad.  It doesn't have to be expensive - you can do really simple food, and if you avoid games you don't have to have prizes. 

    Heck, I abhore Halloween parties and I'm going to one on Friday only because my SIL really wanted me to be there.  Sometimes you suck it up for family.  Especially family you like.
    DIY & Planning | Married 

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    Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
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