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Possible Stupid Question

LittleMissCutiePieLittleMissCutiePie
500 Comments
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
So, where we're getting married, EVERYONE on my side has to travel to. It's not a destination wedding, we're getting married in FI's hometown. It's about three hours away from my hometown, and about six from the majority of my family. So, do I need to pay for anyone's hotel room? I only ask because the last time I went to a wedding that required travel, my cousin's, they paid for the hotel rooms. My mom says this is because the wedding didn't have a reception, and everyone travelled from about ten hours away, so my aunt and uncle decided that covering the cost of the rooms would be the thank-you to the guests instead of a reception. Is this normal? I'm worried, because it is def not in the budget for us to pay for everyone's hotel rooms.
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Re: Possible Stupid Question

  • adamar15adamar15 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments
    It's nice if you can, but it is definitely not necessary.
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  • crash2729crash2729 member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    You don't have to pay for their rooms but it would probably be worthwhile to get a block of rooms for your guests.
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  • MyUserName1MyUserName1 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    You are not required to cover the cost of people's hotel rooms.
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  • mari0225mari0225
    1000 Comments
    No you are not obligated to pay for anyone's lodging, it's a nice tough if you can afford it but no it's not required.
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    No, you are not obligated.

    And your cousin's wedding was abnormal.  No reception?  Who does that?






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • LoopysevenLoopyseven member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    Nope,  you do not have to pay for anyone's hotel room.  As PP's said, reserving a block of rooms so they can book one themselves easily is nice to do.  You should be able to do this at no cost to you.
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  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    No, don't pay for hotel rooms.  But please - have a reception!

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  • graysquirrelgraysquirrel member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    No, you definitely don't have to pay for anyone's hotel. That sounds like something out of a hollywood wedding, not something for the average person.
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  • cebrady89cebrady89 member
    100 Comments
    Nope, but reserving a block of rooms at a local hotel might be nice for your guests.
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  • Grits8812Grits8812 member
    1000 Comments
    Why didn't she have a reception?

    But yeah, just block rooms at a couple different places with different prices.
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  • LittleMissCutiePieLittleMissCutiePie
    500 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_possible-stupid-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c4d8d319-b46f-49c6-ba38-2c3c8b38ee5ePost:2b975d25-0254-43e5-890c-db5d7de230ed">Re: Possible Stupid Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]Why didn't she have a reception? But yeah, just block rooms at a couple different places with different prices.
    Posted by Grits8812[/QUOTE]

    He didn't have a reception because of budget. They basically put no money or effort into their wedding. They had it at the bride's family's bible camp that they own. It was freezing, and even inside the chapel there was little to no heat. I wore a halter dress, expecting a traditional wedding at a community hall or something. Nope. They had their ceremony, and then started opening presents out on the lawn, expecting everyone to stick around to watch. Thankfully, when we got back to the hotel, my aunt and uncle threw together a party for all the out of town relatives and friends. Nothing fancy, just pizza and booze and chatting. Beats the hell out of sitting on the lawn watching the bride and groom open all their presents, though.

    They rushed into marriage for no real reason. They're both still in school to this day (they got married two years ago), and while I shouldn't exactly judge because FI and I are students as well, FI and I only have a semester after our wedding. I would have suggested, if I had any idea what kind of a wedding it would turn out to be, that they wait a few years and save up to pay for the wedding themselves. It was very clear that the bride's parents had, traditionally, paid the tab, even though my aunt told me that they don't make a lot of money in the first place. They insisted on paying though, out of pride. Not to sound judgmental, but if they're so proud, why didn't they try and scrape something together with a little more, I dunno, class? The bride's entire family came dressed in jeans and ball caps and dirty rubber boots. Klassy.
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