Earn cash as you plan. Get a $20 gift card for every 200 points with The Knot Rewards
September 2012 Weddings
SheaCC
member
Options
People who are competitive about money, ugh
This past weekend my FI went to a friend's engagement party. I had work so I couldn't go. When he got back, he told me that his friend (who is very competitive about...everything) kept asking him what his salary is. My FI wouldn't tell him because he thought it was an awkward question. Then his friend asked him how much he spent on my engagement ring! FI did tell him (don't really know why..) And it turns out this guy spent less on his ring, so then he asked FI the size of my diamond! When FI told him, he said the one he bought for his fiancee is the same size and felt all superior about it. But the thing is, he just went to one popular chain jewelry store, looked at rings, and bought the one he liked the best. My FI did a crazy amount of research, went to at least half a dozen stores to compare prices and stones, and looked at several online retailers before he bought my diamond. Quality was very important to him, while his friend apparently didn't even know what "cut" means. FI didn't really explain all this to his friend because he didn't really care. He's really happy with the ring he bought and the amount he spent on it (since he compared so many) so he just ignored it.
Do you guys know anyone like this?? He's a really nice guy generally, but I find this money competition SO annoying. Though I have to say, the funniest part was when he asked my FI what my current job is. After he told him, the guy said, "Wow, she must make a lot of money." When I heard this I laughed hysterically because my job sounds really high profile, but the truth is I make hardly anything at all! Of course FI didn't correct him on that idea, haha.
Do you guys know anyone like this?? He's a really nice guy generally, but I find this money competition SO annoying. Though I have to say, the funniest part was when he asked my FI what my current job is. After he told him, the guy said, "Wow, she must make a lot of money." When I heard this I laughed hysterically because my job sounds really high profile, but the truth is I make hardly anything at all! Of course FI didn't correct him on that idea, haha.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: People who are competitive about money, ugh
FI gets so obsessed with money at times too and it irritates me. Then again so is my father - uh-oh lol I dunno if it's more of a guy thing but i don't get that vibe from the women I know.
I don't know anyone who is that money competitive, but I know people who try to outdo everyone. If you tell my friend Joe that you went to a concert, he will say "yeah I was there.... backstage passes! And I get to meet the band!" Yeah yeah ok. I bought my truck and he went out and bought a brand new one. Then there's my best friends/BMs. They ask me constantly when I am getting a new job, or getting into my career. My one friend gets this really condecending voice and says "Any luck on the job front? Because you have to get outta that place you're at." Thanks... I know. Don't need to remind me my job sucks.
I think some people just don't know appropriate boundaries with asking questions about money... I would NEVER ask someone what their salary is (Unless we were very close) or how much they spent on an engagement ring. I get your frustration.. it's really awkward!
I had a friend that asked Fiance how much he spent (she truly was just curious) and he told her.. infront of a decent sized group of our friends. I talked to him later about how it made me feel uncomfortable so now he knows to just blow it off.
I feel the same way about people asking what the budget for the wedding is. Anyone else feel weird about that too?
I've noticed it seems money is more important to those who either grew up with a ton, or grew up with none. One of my friend's H grew up with very little. Now he makes decent money and he spends a TON of money (so much that they lost their house last year). Another friend is very similar, and she thinks money and stature is important. By no means were my parents "wealthy", they struggled some, but never let us see it and go without the things we needed. Money is no big deal to me. Then there are people who have always had money and they seem to want to flaunt it all the time. I get annoyed with those people.
I agree it's rude to ASK anyone anything about money, prices, etc. It's none of their business. If I choose to share, that's my prerogative, but I don't have to. Where I live there is a MAJOR oil boom going on. A month ago I was hired on for one of the oil companies and now when people learn I'm working oil, they say "Oh, making the big bucks!". I just kinda chuckle and roll it off, because it's none of their business, but I can tell many of these people really want to know if these companies are paying millions. (FYI, not making any more than I did as a teacher, and I was broke as **** then!)
Just because you saw it on Four Weddings, doesn't mean it's a good idea.
Awesome. Congratualtions, but I don't really need to know that you have X amount of money in your checking account (omg open a saving account woman!). I'm sercretly jealous, but have enough class not to point out how tacky your behavior is. I'm looking forward to having a good job and not being broke
I asked another friend how much her new house cost because we're looking at building in the same neighbourhood and with the same builder.
I am extremely close with both friends and neither was uncomfortable/awkard with it, especially since they knew why I was asking; not to just be nosy.
When friends ask how much I or FI make I have no issues telling them, it's pretty clear when people are just being nosy or when they genuinely have a reason to ask.