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Just out of curiosity...

SopChickSopChick member
1000 Comments Third Anniversary
in Not Engaged Yet
What is it about people who have been dating since high school that causes the side eye?

Beyond of course the Bat Sh*t Crazies who have delusions of a pretty princess day filled with puppies and rainbows, or who use the term "Future Fiance".
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Re: Just out of curiosity...

  • zipis1zipis1 member
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    JUST dating since high school doesn't cause me to give side-eye. Overall attitude and the age of the poster who feels the need to point that out may.

    For example, a 30+ year old who has been? Awesome. More power to ya. A 20 year old who has been? Um...great. Come back later, cuz frankly 4 years dating as teenagers is equal to maybe 1 meaningful year in my mind (and I mean no insult by that comment. It's kind of like how a 28 year old dating and marrying within one year is a lot less cringeworthy than an 18 year old doing the same thing, if you catch my drift).

    Also if the person responds to criticism by essentially saying, "Well we've been dating since high school so THERE! I know more than you about relationships." That'll definitely get some side-eye from me.

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  • katanne9katanne9 member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Most of the time it's because they are still young and not independent.

    Ditto Zipis - it has a lot more to do with the fact than they started dating in high school. In fact, 2 of my good friends just got married last month and they started dating in high school (which was 9 years ago).

    If you're going to start dating in high school, be prepared for a looooong dating life.
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  • GreenPepperBurgerGreenPepperBurger
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I side-eye couples that get married right out of high school, and this is coming from a woman who's been dating her BF since junior year of high school. I thought that since we lasted the drama of HS, we could get engaged righ away. I wanted to get engaged at 18. Thankfully, I had some sense knocked into me.

    Many people side-eye it because they think that you should go out and experience being single for a while, or that they should date some more people before finding "the one." These are valid arguments. I personally have wrestled with this for some time, toying back and forth with the idea that maybe I should end things with BF. In the end, I decided not to because I truly have no desire to date other men; I'm in love with this man, and yes, we've both changed since high school. But we are accepting and embracing our changes together.

    I've calculated then we finally do get married, we'd probably be going on about a decade of dating, give or take a couple of years.

    I'm actually surprised at the amount of people on here who have been with their SOs since high school.


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  • SopChickSopChick member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I'm glad it takes more to warrant a side-eye! :)

    [QUOTE]Many people side-eye it because they think that you should go out and experience being single for a while, or that they should date some more people before finding "the one." These are valid arguments. I personally have wrestled with this for some time, toying back and forth with the idea that maybe I should end things with BF. In the end, I decided not to because I truly have no desire to date other men; I'm in love with this man, and yes, we've both changed since high school. But we are accepting and embracing our changes together. I've calculated then we finally do get married, we'd probably be going on about a decade of dating, give or take a couple of years.
    Posted by GreenPepperBurger[/QUOTE]

    I totally agree with this. BF and I started dating at the end of grade 10 (I don't know what that is in American high school speak, sorry!), and I have gotten the comments about experiencing dating other people. I also toyed with whether I <em>should</em> be doing that because it is "normal", but I have no desire whatsoever to be with anyone else. We are both different people than when we started dating, and our relationship is very, very different from what it was.

    Thanks for the honest replies ladies! I must confess I'm often a little hesitant to say that we've been together since high school for fear I'll be dismissed as BSC or something, so it's nice to know there are some NEYers that are in the same boat. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" />
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  • zipis1zipis1 member
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    If people are generally around 15 in your grade ten, it's the same grade ten as our grade ten. Though we also call it Sophomore year.

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  • brilibby4brilibby4 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I question it sometimes because I know in high school I thought the guy I had been dating for years was "the one" for me.  However, college taught me how wrong we were for each other and I know now that if I had gotten married out of high school I would be miserable.  High school is so different than the real world and what works there doesn't always work forever. 
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  • spechtholdnspechtholdn
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I totally agree with the opinions here. I think people do it because many highschoolers think they know what "love" is. I don't agree with the whole you-should-be-single cliche to experience life. I have been in 3 long term relationships since I started dating around 15/16 and I am completely happy with my current relationship of 5 years. I can say though that if I would have gotten married at 18 right out of high school it would have been a big mistake. We were both way too young to really know each other. We didn't even live together. Many young people at the age don't even really know themselves yet, how can you know someone else well enough to marry them? I guess older, wiser people side-eye because they realize what is most likely to happen.
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  • SopChickSopChick member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    It makes sense to give the girls who come on here at 18 complaining about how she's "been with her "FF" for 3.5 years, why hasn't he proposed yet?" the side-eye... I totally agree with that! Despite how much I cared for BF at 18, we were no where NEAR ready to talk marriage at that point. Now that we have finished college/university, lived together for a year, worked "real" jobs, etc it's a whole different story.

    I guess I'm just reacting (probably being overly sensitive too) to the looks I get sometimes when people ask how long we've been dating and I answer "since high school".
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