Such a thing as pre-proposal jitters?

[Deleted User] · April 2012

BF and I have been in this "2nd honeymoon" phase for the last month or 2. It's been like our first year together all over again. I get giddy when I see him, he's been extremely sweet and lovey, we've shared some great conversations and let's just say the sexy times have been ah-mazing! I think we've been through a lot of stress in the past 2 years while he's been in school & not working...but to finally be on the other side is just blissful.

So what the heck is my problem!?! It just hit me that BF graduates next Monday and I'm suddenly anxious about a very likely upcoming proposal. I absolutely know he's the man i'm going to spend the rest of my life with...and it's not like I didn't know this was where we were headed. So why am I suddenly nervous about the whole thing? On the one hand I'm so emotional about the fact that I will one day call him my husband... but there's another side of me that kind of wants to run and hide.

Has anyone else experienced pre-proposal jitters? I realize it is a big commitment, but after 5 years with a man I have no doubts about...shouldn't this be the easy part? My stomach is literally in knots this morning...

swhite2012 · April 2012

I definitely did. When we were first talking about engagement and looking at rings I was pretty excited. Then when we found one that was on sale and we basically had to make a decision right then, I got a little nervous. I told him not to buy the ring yet. He did, without me knowing and proposed pretty soon after, and we are both happy about it. I don't know what gave me that momentary pause, but I do think it's completely normal. It's a really big change, and no matter what kind of change it is, something that life changing is always going to give you pause for a bit.

msuprincess04 · April 2012

Thanks for posting this. I'm so glad to know it's not just me!

Elle1036 · April 2012

I had the jitters. Yep. I think I even posted about it back in the day.

It was really important to FI that he talk to his mom and dad about it before proposing, and I knew he was planning on having that conversation with them this one particular weekend while they were all out of town together. That whole weekend, I sat in my apartment trying not to (a) throw up or (b) text him and tell him not to tell his parents because I wasn't ready yet.

I think it's pretty common, when you know a big change is coming up, to freak out a little. Even when you're looking forward to the change.

Think about all the big steps you've taken in your life so far. Moving, maybe? Starting college? Graduating college? Didn't you feel the same way then?

cu97tiger · April 2012

I had a total and complete panic attack while we were in Vegas one weekend for a friends wedding a couple months before we got engaged. Something about being there to celebrate their wedding put me in to full-on panic mode. I think it's pretty normal, and as long as you aren't feeling like this all. the. time. then I think it's nothing to worry about. Drink some ginger ale and turn on the TV

loves2shop4shoes · April 2012

I had pre-proposal jitters too. I think it's normal to feel some anxiety when you're making such a huge step in your life.

[Deleted User] · April 2012

Thanks ladies! I knew you all would have some wonderfully calming thoughts! I'm so glad to hear others have felt this way and it's completely normal. I think it just sort of hit me all at once this morning.

Elle - I loved your point about other big life changes. I generally love change...but only when I know what's coming. I think maybe because I don't know when and I don't know how...I'm just very anxious. Engagement has been something that I've just been feeling like "we'll get there someday"...so to actually think it's coming soon....eek!

Beads921 · April 2012

I didn't know FI was going to propose, so I went through the pre-proposal jitters about 2 weeks post-proposal. I was feeling all the same things you talk about. And it sucked. I still feel like that some days, but most days I'm really excited. I think it's pretty normal when you're face to face with such a major life change.

Annas2013 · April 2012

I had some the day of, since my FI kind of gave it away that morning that he had planned on proposing. I got some jitters, but I was so excited anyway! It's a huge commitment and exciting and new all at the same time. You're completely normal.

nightnerd · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_such-a-thing-as-per-proposal-jitters?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:ed018ca9-c1dd-47c4-8b2c-13b4af113fadPost:a4224d11-c770-4a16-91e8-daf5db93d265">Re: Such a thing as pre-proposal jitters?</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for posting this. I'm so glad to know it's not just me!
Posted by msuprincess04[/QUOTE]

Precisely what I was thinking!

I think feeling the jitters like this makes sense. It's something we all think about (or try not to think about) for so long, and then when you actually see it coming , it gives you some pause. I have no particular advice, but you're definitely not alone!

Such a thing as pre-proposal jitters?

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