Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Second Weddings
Second Weddings
New Discussion
Options

Response Cards... What's your approach?

Lisa50Lisa50 member
5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
in Second Weddings
I am going back and forth on including a response card with our invitation.  The vast majority of people we're inviting know what to do when they see "R.S.V.P" at the bottom of an invitation.  BUT ... I know times have changed and, for whatever reason, many people expect a response card.  Ugh!
Report Reply to Post

Re: Response Cards... What's your approach?

  • Options
    arv266arv266
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I am not sure what you mean by "times have changed" when it comes to an RSVP, and I truly don't believe that people expect one over the other. 

    What I do believe is that the invitation and RSVP should match the event... so no, if you are having an elegant evening wedding, I think an RSVP with a phone number is tacky, it can also be time consuming to receive numerous calls  if you are inviting a lot of guest.However, if you are having a casual get together, an RSVP is fine.  We are having a Sunday brunch and I am including a response card, primarily to just keep me straight with the headcount. 
    Report Reply
  • Options
    right1thistimeright1thistime member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011

    After listening to so many brides complain about not receiving the enclosed, stamped RSVPs by the deadline- I highly doubt anyone would sit down, pull out their personal stationery and write an RSVP, stamp and mail it.  (I presume that you are referring to the formal rule of etiquette when presented with an RSVP request - not RSVP with a phone number.)  For your peace of mind and sanity- enclose the card.

    Phone RSVPs would never work in my house- teenagers answering the phone mean messages never gotten!  ~Donna

    Report Reply
  • Options
    LesPaulLesPaul member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Make it easy on your guests and include the RSVP card with a stamped envelope.  Some people won't return it, but from what I've learned here, relying on people to phone or go to a website to RSVP results in even lower response rates (and more follow-up for you).
    imageFollow Me on Pinterest
    Report Reply
  • Options
    suzieharrissuzieharris
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    We made our invitations to include a postcard for guests to return.  It saved on postage and on the cost of another envelope. 

    Report Reply
  • Options
    thealphabridethealphabride
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My approach was to include a resopnse card and envelope, however I also enclosed a general information card with our website and worded it something like this:
    "To get more interactive directions, request a song, or RSVP on line, please visit our wedding website @________."
     
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Lisa50Lisa50 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    <div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_response-cards-whats-approach?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:76ecc4c8-860c-4587-92c8-06c32918d1a4Post:dc6fa84d-eaff-4b87-a490-bb868a1ebf1d">Re: Response Cards... What's your approach?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am not sure what you mean by "times have changed" when it comes to an RSVP [/QUOTE]

    Okay, I should have been clearer.  Here's what I mean ...

    In years past ("ancient times," as my son would say ... LOL!), a wedding invitation included, in the bottom left (or right) corner the simple abbreviation "R.S.V.P."  I don't speak/write French -- so someone help me out here -- the translation is, "Respond, if you please."  That's it -- nothing else (no phone number, no website URL, etc.). 

    Recipients then pulled out their personal stationery, wrote a note letting the host know whether or not they planned to attend, put a stamp it, addressed it to the host using the return address on the invitation they received, and put it in the mail.

    Sorry if that's a convoluted explanation, but hope that it helps clarify!</div>
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Lisa50Lisa50 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    <div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_response-cards-whats-approach?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:76ecc4c8-860c-4587-92c8-06c32918d1a4Post:636ab8cc-1416-4148-bdd3-a9fdaa28d0e4">Re: Response Cards... What's your approach?</a>:
    [QUOTE]After listening to so many brides complain about not receiving the enclosed, stamped RSVPs by the deadline- I highly doubt anyone would sit down, pull out their personal stationery and write an RSVP, stamp and mail it.  (I presume that you are referring to the formal rule of etiquette when presented with an RSVP request - not RSVP with a phone number.)  For your peace of mind and sanity- enclose the card. Posted by right1thistime[/QUOTE]

    Okay Donna, I'm with you on enclosing the card for my peace of mind.  But ... if no one gets them back anyway, then is it worth the trouble??  See?  That's where I keep getting hung up.  Hee hee ... I see those posts with upset brides too.  Ugh!</div>
    Report Reply
  • Options
    2dBride2dBride member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_response-cards-whats-approach?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:35Discussion:76ecc4c8-860c-4587-92c8-06c32918d1a4Post:42aa0b9e-a3f9-4785-95fe-dcb54ee6f616">Re: Response Cards... What's your approach?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Response Cards... What's your approach? : Okay, I should have been clearer.  Here's what I mean ... In years past ("ancient times," as my son would say ... LOL!), a wedding invitation included, in the bottom left (or right) corner the simple abbreviation "R.S.V.P."  I don't speak/write French -- so someone help me out here -- the translation is, "Respond, if you please."  That's it -- nothing else (no phone number, no website URL, etc.).  Recipients then pulled out their personal stationery, wrote a note letting the host know whether or not they planned to attend, put a stamp it, addressed it to the host using the return address on the invitation they received, and put it in the mail. Sorry if that's a convoluted explanation, but hope that it helps clarify!
    Posted by Lisa50[/QUOTE]Alas, those "ancient times" really ended before my <em>first </em>wedding, back in 1977.  Even then, the sense was that RSVP cards might be slightly tacky, but that you were unlikely to get replies without them.    By now, the general view is that the <em>omission</em> of RSVP cards is tacky.

    We didn't include response cards in our invitations, but only because we did online-only RSVPs.
    Anniversary
    Our wedding bio page (including vendor reviews) and items for sale
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Lisa50Lisa50 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    <div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_response-cards-whats-approach?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:76ecc4c8-860c-4587-92c8-06c32918d1a4Post:bc80ce9c-58a4-43db-9c52-77a11c1f7724">Re: Response Cards... What's your approach?</a>:
    [QUOTE] Alas, those "ancient times" really ended before my first wedding, back in 1977.  [/QUOTE]

    ROTF LMAO!  It is <em>so </em>true.  My best friends and I (3 of us) married in 1992.  None of us included response cards (you're right, they <u>were</u> considered "tacky").  We simply had "R.S.V.P." in the bottom/left corner.  Oye!  I feel like a dinosaur ...

    Honestly, I'd planned to include response cards.  However, after reading the absolute frustration of so many on these boards with lack of responses, I began thinking ... "Why should I spend money on the card, envelope, add'l postage?"  *sigh* 

    Thus, my recent dilemma.  Oh, pooh!</div>
    Report Reply
  • Options
    handfast4mehandfast4me member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I included cards for my first wedding in 1985, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth.  :-)  They were standard at the time.  And I would include them, even though some won't return them.  And here's another thing:  People do NOT know the guidelines that if you say Mr. and Mrs. Smith  that addressing the envelope in that way does NOT include any children of aforementioned Mr. and Mrs. Smith.  Just a word of warning in case you're having an adult-only ceremony and reception. 

    So, either way, you'll end up calling a few people before the event to get an accurate headcount, and to tell them that little Johnny isn't welcome.   I've helped in the planning for many, many formal events for my professional society, and our rule is 10%.   10% will be looking for a ticket the day of, and a couple of people who bought tickets won't show up. 
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    right1thistimeright1thistime member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Lisa - I still say use them- if it saves you 50% of the calls, that's 50% less time you spend tracking down guests responses for your head count. 

    Report Reply
  • Options
    melissamc2melissamc2 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I included response cards for my first two weddings and I am for this one, as well.  Perhaps it`s just me, but I don`t think a wedding invitation seems complete without one, regardless of what any current trend is.  I think phone RSVPs are great for birthday parties, bridal showers, and casual get-togethers - but I like a little more for a wedding.

    I like to think that everyone I bother inviting to our wedding is intelligent, and responsible enough, to check a line, lick an envelope, and stick it in the mail.  If they aren`t, that`s what I`m allowing a three day window to make phone calls and check up on them.
    10-10-10
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Lisa50Lisa50 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    <div align="left"><p>In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_response-cards-whats-approach?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:76ecc4c8-860c-4587-92c8-06c32918d1a4Post:f3a5c367-8075-4066-a837-5ac0cca1e590">Re: Response Cards... What's your approach?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Lisa - I still say use them- if it saves you 50% of the calls, that's 50% less time you spend tracking down guests responses for your head count. 
    Posted by right1thistime[/QUOTE]

    True, it will save some percentage of calls.  Perhaps<em><strong> this</strong> </em>is insanity defined??  LOL!</p></div>
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Etiquette_MavenEtiquette_Maven
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'd do response cards. People will often write little messages congratulating you on them as well as notifying you they're attending, and those are nice for a scrap book.

    Also, it helps when doing table assignments.

    It would be nice if people wrote a proper response on their own stationary to an invitation, but you know that won't happen. Also if there are older people a website may confuse them. I think response cards are definitly the way to go- it'll give you some piece of mind you've done the right thing when you're frustrated people aren't responding (there are always a few!).
    Report Reply
  • Options
    arllinmaarllinma
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We are doing a lot of things "untraditionally" and are going to just write
    Please RSVP by date to name@gmail.com
    Every person I'm inviting uses email and it is cheaper and faster...
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Lisa50Lisa50 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    <div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_response-cards-whats-approach?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:76ecc4c8-860c-4587-92c8-06c32918d1a4Post:ad8c7215-2c30-4c29-b949-a084e7141cee">Re: Response Cards... What's your approach?</a>:
    [QUOTE]We are doing a lot of things "untraditionally" and are going to just write Please RSVP by date to name@gmail.com Every person I'm inviting uses email and it is cheaper and faster...
    Posted by arllinma[/QUOTE]

    Oh, you're so lucky!  A good proportion of our guests are not email users (older generation, as in age 80+), so that wouldn't work for us.  I like it, though.  Thanks!</div>
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards