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Moms and Maids
KristenAnne88
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FMIL dress
My FMIL is looking for a dress for my wedding in October 2012. I want her to have a color that compliments the colors I chose (plum, platinum, black, white), and suggested a wine or light burgandy color. She asked me today if she could wear black....um NO! She is very self conscious of her body, and wants to "blend in". I dont want her to stand out, but I dont want her wearing the same color as the tuxedos. Plus, I think black is a little offensive. 
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Re: FMIL dress
Relax...You are going to be related to this woman until she dies. Start out being kind.
Are you afraid that someone will mistake a black cocktail dress or gown for mourning clothes? Black seems to be a popular color, around here, for weddings. I've seen bridesmaids, moms and guests in beautiful, black dresses.
Posted by KristenAnne88[/QUOTE]
<div>Um YES! Your FMIL - and any other guests not actually in the wedding party - can wear what they like.</div>
[QUOTE]I am very offended when people wear black.
Posted by freebread03[/QUOTE]
Why? And you might want to work on getting over that, because chances are a number of your guests are going to show up in black.
[QUOTE]I am very offended when people wear black.
Posted by freebread03[/QUOTE]
<div>
</div><div>Prepare to be offended a lot. Of all the things that are worth getting "very offended" over, this shouldn't be one of them.</div>
[QUOTE]I am very offended when people wear black.
Posted by freebread03[/QUOTE]
Why? Black is perfectly acceptable to wear to any formal evening event...except if you are a MOB or MOG?
I understand (3 time MOB here) that in olden days the MOB or MOG wearing black meant they disapproved but those times are quite over. That was also back in the day when the MOG was second class and HAD to compliment the MOG's dress. I refused to coordinate with the MOG's because I thought it was disrespectul to them to expect them wait to until I had my dress. Those days are gone. I wore black to 2 of the 3 girls weddings and got compliments galore and my DH said the only time I looked more beautiful was at our wedding.
OP - stop worrying about your pics more than your FMIL. If she wants to wear black because she is self conscious then it really isn't your call. Asking the mom's to wear certain colors is just rude.
ETA - So sorry freebread. I thought you were serious.
[QUOTE]What a bunch of snarky, judgemental people you are. )= Call me traditional and old fashioned, but black is not an appropriate color for a mother of the groom. If she chooses to wear black because she feels most comfortable, I'm certainly not going to be the "<strong>troll</strong>" I have been called and tell her she cannot, I am simply trying to suggest other colors that are dark, but will still flatter her.
Posted by KristenAnne88[/QUOTE]
Let me clarify what a troll is. A troll is someone who comes onto these message boards, or any internet forum, and makes up posts that sound ridiculous to get people riled up and upset. I say troll not in the sense that you live under a bridge and wield a club, but that your post sounded ridiculous enough that I thought you were "trolling". I apologize for the misunderstanding. That said, don't come on these boards and expect everyone to agree with you. We don't know you, we just know the issue you're presenting, so we'll respond with how we see it at face value. It's not personal, so I advise not getting defensive.
[QUOTE]What a bunch of snarky, judgemental people you are. )= Call me traditional and old fashioned, but black is not an appropriate color for a mother of the groom. If she chooses to wear black because she feels most comfortable, I'm certainly not going to be the "troll" I have been called and tell her she cannot, I am simply trying to suggest other colors that are dark, but will still flatter her.
Posted by KristenAnne88[/QUOTE]
We're snarky and judgmental? You told your future mother in law, the mother of your fiance, the future grandmother to your children and a woman you will be related to for the rest of your life how to dress herself for her son's wedding.
She wants to be comfortable and happy. Let her. For god's sake - it's just black. It's not like she's going to be wearing another wedding dress.
Let. it. go.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FMIL dress : We're snarky and judgmental? You told your future mother in law, the mother of your fiance, the future grandmother to your children and a woman you will be related to for the rest of your life how to dress herself for her son's wedding. She wants to be comfortable and happy. Let her. For god's sake - it's just black. It's not like she's going to be wearing another wedding dress. Let. it. go.
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]
Exactly! We aren't the judgemental ones here. We were polite enough to not tell grown women how to dress when it's none of our damn business. You are the one being snarky and judgemental towards your FMIL.
Andplusalso, black is a very classic color and looks nice, even at weddings. Both my mother and my mother in law wore black dresses to our wedding and they looked amazing.
You don't get to tell your FMIL what to wear. End of story!
Black is traditionally taboo, but I think your MIL has a good reason for wanting to wear it. If it really bothers you, you can suggest another dark color...but it's important that she doesn't feel too self conscious and uncomfortable. My MIL informed me that she is wearing white...yes WHITE....and although it irritates me, I decided to take the high road and not say anything. She is the one who is going to make herself look bad.
But by tradition, the mother of the bride chooses her dress first (and it is supposed to complement the bridal party colors) and the mother of the groom should complement her, both in color and in length. Not everyone follows that any more, but I'm surprised so many people have never heard of the old rules.