Children at the reception.....

ErlindaDenise · June 2010

I don't want them there and I have a 7 year old son who will be IN the wedding.

The hubby to be feels bad for family with children and he thinks they won't have any other options then to bring the little ones.

We are having an eve wedding and of course with liquor being served I would not feel comfortable with children there.

How are other brides dealing with this and what lingo will be used to say Get A Baby Sitter

ootmother2 · June 2010

did you check the board before you posted this?

Mrs.B6302007 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_children-reception-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bcbcd003-6c21-43b4-853c-a403a94c5b36Post:7232a1f7-f5a9-4eb8-a7d6-2202e0b8f9b8">Children at the reception.....</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't want them there and I have a 7 year old son who will be IN the wedding. The hubby to be feels bad for family with children and he thinks they won't have any other options then to bring the little ones. We are having an eve wedding and of course with liquor being served I would not feel comfortable with children there. How are other brides dealing with this and what lingo will be used to say Get A Baby Sitter
Posted by ErlindaDenise[/QUOTE]

Mrs.B6302007 · June 2010

FAQ link below

RachNRich · June 2010

Do not address the children on the invitations. If guests add their children, call then up and politely tell them that you are happy they will be able attend, but you only have space for the individuals listed on the invite.

You don't tell people to get a babysitter. Wrong.

nda_roxybabe · June 2010

In her defense, I haven't noticed a lot of this Q lately.

ootmother2 · June 2010

why aren't you in labor

ah, mrsB is here. i posted because I thought you would probably be in labor by now!

tidetravel · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_children-reception-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bcbcd003-6c21-43b4-853c-a403a94c5b36Post:7232a1f7-f5a9-4eb8-a7d6-2202e0b8f9b8">Children at the reception.....</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't want them there and I have a 7 year old son who will be IN the wedding. The hubby to be feels bad for family with children and he thinks they won't have any other options then to bring the little ones. We are having an eve wedding and of course with liquor being served I would not feel comfortable with children there. How are other brides dealing with this and what lingo will be used to say Get A Baby Sitter
Posted by ErlindaDenise[/QUOTE]

You are perfectly within your right to have an adult only wedding. However, ypu have to take your FI's concerns into consideration. Your FI has valid concerns. Some people will decline the invitation, either because they can't find a sitter or don't want to leave the kids at home. If it is important to him for those people to be there, you need to take his concerns/wants to heart. You aren't the only one making decisions, here. One way to compromise is to hire a sitter or sitters for the children, and have a kids room at the reception. Parents can attend the party, and the kids would be close by.

That being said, simply put the names of the guests on the envelope. If people RSVP with children, you need to call them and explain that their children are not invited. You CANNOT put this on the invite.

Mrs.B6302007 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_children-reception-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bcbcd003-6c21-43b4-853c-a403a94c5b36Post:e1865172-b2c3-4a21-b72e-03d9ed9417f6">Re: Children at the reception.....</a>:
[QUOTE]why aren't you in labor ah, mrsB is here. i posted because I thought you would probably be in labor by now!
Posted by ootmother2[/QUOTE]

I'm trying to talk her into coming but she's not listening!

hugz415 · June 2010

also you may want to consider offering babysitting services. your venue may be able to make suggestions on this. That way if they are traveling and want to bring the kids, they can but you won't have to have them at the reception.

tidetravel · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_children-reception-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bcbcd003-6c21-43b4-853c-a403a94c5b36Post:5ca13376-76bd-4698-afdb-0206a6a16f35">Re: Children at the reception.....</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Children at the reception..... : I'm trying to talk her into coming but she's not listening!
Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]

She's comfy.

Lyss5782 · June 2010

If this helps, on my WEBSITE (not invite), it says, blah blah adult cocktail reception to follow....please let us know if you need help arranging for child care.

I felt like this drove the point home without flat out being like DONT BRING YOUR KIDS.

ErlindaDenise · June 2010

aaawwwww Thanks Ladies.

I def wouldn't put get a baby sitter on it...lol..I am not THAT rude but I love the suggestion to remember this is not just MY wedding.

Budget will play a huge role of hiring a baby sitter as well as a children meal. Which we will be able to get to the bottom of when that time comes. I also think because this wedding will start later in the eve I would only hope family would not want their children out past 9pm.

And as far as this being in the incorrect form I am asking for the best etiquette for dealing with notifying guest of an Adult Only Reception or if I am in the wrong for feeling this way at all.

tidetravel · June 2010

You're not on the wrong board or anything. Its just that this question gets asked over and over, so, looking at the FAQ usually helps save us the typing

There are 2 schools of thought on weddings:

1) They are adult affairs and children should not be a part of them
2) They are family affairs and children should be welcome at them

Neither is wrong, per se, however, when you have 2 people with different views of the what a wedding is supposed to be, there can be disagreements.

Is there a particular reason why you don't want kids there?

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · June 2010

Your FI has a valid point. Perhaps some of his guests really won't be able to attend the wedding if they can't bring their kids, and he'd rather have them AND the kids there than neither. I'd work out a compromise.

I also don't see why children and alcohol are mutually exclusive. My parents often had a drink with dinner when I was a kid. A 10 year old will not be served at the bar and his parents will not likely get drunk enough to not be able to watch him.

ErlindaDenise · June 2010

Well I never understood children not being invited until now actually. Like I said I have a little one and was a little hurt when I would see that on invitations ...lol... otta control RIGHT

My mother once explained that for my grandparents 50th where no alcohol was being served they didn't want children there just in case some out of control child messed some part of the celebration up.

And gosh I would hope their parents would be responsible with their intake that they would be able to be mature adults around their children. But I am thinking more about friends without children who say may want to let go as if they would if children were not there.

It is a fine line and I will be as gentle with it as possible as well as taking a look at the FAQ with the Fi

ohwhynot · June 2010

Erlinda (what a lovely name, by the way), I like the way you're taking the advice to heart. You don't need to decide anything for awhile, so you and fi can think it over.

As far as alcohol & children, I don't think that's a good reason to exclude children. Parents can be trusted to remove their children when things get too raucous, and also: just how rowdy/R-rated do you want your friends to get at your wedding? I really can't imagine my friends doing anything at my wedding that would be offensive or shocking to children.

That said, lots and lots of people have child-free weddings (or mostly child-free - your son will be there, I assume) and you don't need to justify your decision. Just make sure you and your fiance are on the same page and come to this board for assistance when you send out your invitations. LOL.

tidetravel · June 2010

In all reality, if you're having a late night reception, most parents will probably make plans for their kids anyway. Those that don't/can't will probably leave early, and then your friends can "let loose." At least they were able to attend the wedding.

If you were hurt by the lack of invitation for your child in the past, there's a good chance that some of your guests will feel that way now. Just something to consider.

banana468 · June 2010

I'll echo PPs on the alcohol and children thing. Every function in my famiily has alcohol regardless of the time of day (yes, even a breakfast would have mimosas).

And ditto PPs on the rest.

B, how are you?

Mrs.B6302007 · June 2010

Good, but I'll be much better in a few. Mr B is surprising me with a homemade milkshake. =-)

banana468 · June 2010

Yum!

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