this is the code for the render ad
Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Woes
Wedding Woes
New Discussion

Pre-Wedding Relationship Stress

[Deleted User][Deleted User] member
10 Comments
in Wedding Woes
So, we have a little under two months until the wedding. My fiancee and I have lived together for pretty much our entire relationship (4 years in August). All of a sudden in these last few weeks our relationship has been strained. I don't know whether it is from stress from planning the wedding or because the wedding is coming up so fast. He brought up the idea of canceling the wedding and I just can't do it. All the money we've invested into it, all of the time and effort our family has put into it. 

I don't know if I am actually questioning whether this is the right decision, I truly love him a lot and we have lived like Husband and Wife for years now. The wedding just makes it official.

Maybe I just have cold feet or I'm just going through a mood. Is this normal?
Report Reply to Post

Re: Pre-Wedding Relationship Stress

  • shellydiane820shellydiane820 member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    It might be the stress of planning a wedding, however if he brought up cancelling the wedding, I'd probably have second thoughts.
    Photobucket
    Report Reply
  • redheadfsuredheadfsu member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_pre-wedding-relationship-stress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:fb290a70-7f34-4999-9198-64992bd0cfe1Post:bb8aebb7-44ab-420f-93eb-1c9f9e4b1c25">Re: Pre-Wedding Relationship Stress</a>:
    [QUOTE]It might be the stress of planning a wedding, however if he brought up cancelling the wedding, I'd probably have second thoughts.
    Posted by shellydiane820[/QUOTE]

    This.

    Make sure you BOTH are really ready for marriage. A Divorce costs way more than a cancelled wedding. Devoting your life to someone is a big step, just b/c you have been acting like Husband & Wife doesn't mean you both have are ready for the vows.

    Good Luck & I hope it is just wedding stress. 

    Planning Bio
    Married 9/15/11

    image
    *This is Not Legal Advice*
    Report Reply
  • brilibby4brilibby4 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    IMO there is a big difference between being stressed and actually bringing up wanting to cancel the wedding.  Also, the time and money put into the wedding should not be what is keeping you from canceling!  If those are the first things you bring up instead of the fact that you are ready to commit to spending the rest of your life with this man then I would say some major discussions need to occur between you and FI asap.  Either way, I think you need to forget about everyone else, money, and planning and think about your thoughts and feelings instead.  It is much easier to break an engagement than it is to get divorced. 
    image
    Report Reply
  • Love is BaldLove is Bald
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    did he bring up the idea of canceling because its too stressful or because he's not sure how he feels about spending the rest of his life with you?  Either way, sit down and have a serious conversation -- wedding aside... but abou the idea of marriage. 

    This is probably hard for you, but dont get too worked up until you talk to him. 
    Report Reply
  • JennaV26JennaV26
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree with everyone else that if he brought up the idea of cancelling the wedding because you guys may not be ready yet or the only thing holding you back from cancelling is the money then yes - you guys have a lot to talk about.

    To answer your original question, you may just be overwhelmed with planning or getting cold feet. I had a major breakdown with FI today because he left my house early to go running and didn't come over the other night after work because he wanted Jack in the Box and it's closer to his house. None of those are really big deals but I'm so stressed that I just went off about how he doesn't want to spend time with me and blah blah blah. Totally would't have happened if I wasn't losing my mind with planning a wedding, preparing to move and looking for a new job. It happens!
    There Are 2 in My Wolf Pack : : : : :Look! A Blog! image
    Report Reply
  • Blueyed228Blueyed228 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    FI and I are 5 months out and last week we were at each others throats.  I asked my married friends and they laughed and said "oh yeah, there were points where we were ready to kill each other".

    Communication is key.  I sat FI down and told him how I felt, and that I could not plan this wedding alone.  He totally saw where I was coming from and we got back on the same page.
    045_45-1 photo 045_45-1.jpg
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DX: PCOS/Recurrent losses/MTHFR mutation (compound hetero)
    5 hysteroscopies/2 surgical
    3 Inject IUIs = 2 m/c's and 1 BFN
    IVF #1= BFP. m/c at 7w6d. Needed 2 D&C's and scar tissue removal. Mild OHSS
    IVF #2 = BFP. Severe OHSS. 4 Drainings. TWINS!
    Report Reply
  • mbmeyermbmeyer
    Third Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree-- my daughter recently cancelled her wedding plans and I know it was scarey for her to bring it up to me, but I reassured her that even if she was at the church door and told her dad and I that she didn't want to get married, we would have turned  around!

    I also agree it is  the people's reaction to the news that suprised us both ways-- but that should NOT play a role in your decision-- it's the rest of YOUR lives, not anyone elses!!!
    Good luck
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards