Ok now I want honest opinions here cuz I'm truly curious! I don't want to be rude but I also don't want to compromise on my wedding if I don't have to. My fiance and I have been engaged for over a year now and are planning a shabby chic rustic barn theme wedding for June of 2012. I've been very close to his sister since FI and I started dating but we've had are disagreements for sure. She's also one of my bridesmaids. Two weeks ago her and her boyfriend got engaged and I was super happy for them! She informed me that they were thinking about getting married Summer of 2012 also! Great that's awesome I was so excited that we could plan together and all that stuff. I start talking about the plans FI and I have been making (for the past year) with her and everytime we talk she seems to get really upset and will ignore me. Oook... at this point I'm getting a little worried but FI tells me I'm just paranoid. . Well then she tells me they want a rustic barn theme as well. Ok that explains why she's upset. But I guess it's a bigger deal to her then I thought she just texted me saying that we need to talk and that my FI and I need to pick a couple things that are important to us and give up the rest so our weddings wont end up the same. I don't like confrontation or making people upset but this is my wedding and I want it how I've been planning it for a year now... idk what to do! Should I have to compromise on mine and my FI big day to please his sister?

Re: Should I have to give something up?
[QUOTE]Your FSIL is being absolutely ridiculous. I would immediately stop talking about your wedding plans with her. Continue with your plans as you have them. She has no right to tell you that you need to give up things just because she wants to have the same type of wedding as you. If she keeps persisting that you and your FI need to have a talk with her about the weddings, have your FI politely tell his sister that you will not be making any changes and will be going with what you already have planned.
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]
This. Your wedding day is for YOU and YOUR FIANCE. If she wants to copy, fine, but she can't tell you how to plan your day. Just keep on planning exactly as you were and stop giving her details about your day. Best of luck to you. :)
My brother kinda pulled the same thing on me. I got engaged first, and he told me not to pick fall 2012 because, if he decided to propose to his gf, thats when he wanted their wedding. Well, I wasn't gonna wait around to see if or when he was gonna propose, so we picked Sept. He proposed soon after and then asked me to move my date because he wanted it first. Believe it or not, my mom backed him on it! I held my ground which forced him to move to the next spring. So stand your ground, plan what you want, and she will look stupid for copying you, if anyone notices at all.
Every person thinks and plans differently...your FSIL can not claim a theme or demand you to make changes because even if you tried to make your weddings the exact same--you cant. Each gathering of guests is a different vibe because the couple getting married sets the tone!