Wedding Etiquette Forum

Evening Wedding Etiquette

Does anyone have any insight on evening wedding etiquette?  We are planning to be married on a Friday night.  I want to be married a bit later (like 8pm-ish) and have a dessert only (no formal meal) reception afterwards.  FI says that we should be married around 6:30-ish and it is our duty to provide our guests with a formal meal.  I don't think we can afford the cost of a meal, but I also don't want to be breaking any major etiquette rules.  I also don't really want to change our date or time frame just to accomodate not havng a meal.  Any insight is helpful!

BTW- when I say dessert only, I am talking about lots of little desserts, ie: wedding cake, cupcakes, cookies, cheesecake (4 varieties), chocolate fountain with piund cake and fresh fruit, etc.  Its not just a "cake/punch" reception. 
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Re: Evening Wedding Etiquette

  • If you do change the time to 6:30, then yes, you do need to provide enough food to constitute a meal. But if you go with 8, a dessert reception is perfectly fine. Just because you're having a wedding doesn't mean you must provide a meal, no matter what time the wedding takes place. Time dictates how much food you need to serve.
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  • Thanks- that is what I was thinking- that a later wedding, with "dessert only reception to follow" on the invites- and people would know they need to eat before they come.  I think I'll stick to my guns on this one and go with a later wedding time/desserts only.

    Any other insight is appreciated.
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  • tenofcups4metenofcups4me member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited June 2010

    Yes, at 6:30 you have to have a meal. At 8 on a Friday, I guess you don't but it really depends on your crowd and where you live. Most people I know tend to work late and would likely just get changed at work and run out in order to make an 8pm wedding -- ie, no time to eat so they'd be starving by the time they got there. I think that's even more true for larger metro areas where people might have to travel a while just to get home from work or to a venue site, though it's probably not as much an issue in smaller areas.

    At any rate, for my crowd, I'd still have lots of food even if it starts at 8. But you know your friends and family better -- would they have time to eat before an 8pm wedding or not?

    Edit -- we cross-posted. If it's only dessert, definitely make sure that info is on the invitations. Even then, I'd strongly recommend heavy apps in addition to dessert, but when I entertain, it's always my personal style to put out tons of food.

  • My friend had a Friday night wedding. Her ceremony started at 7:30 and she did a dessert only reception (she also had finger food as well). Worked out perfectly, my parents loved it because they didn't have to stay around all day and night. I was in the wedding party and I was still able to go to work, do my hair, and got dinner (the bride ordered out for everyone). So as long as you do late enough (probably after 7) you should be fine. 
  • 6:30 in a Friday is dinnertime, but it's also tricky, since many people might be rushing home from work.
    8pm dessert sounds fine to me. It might get a bit tight for some people, but I think, for the most part, people will figure out what they need to do to arrive on time.
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  • I think your idea is perfectly fine etiquette-wise. However, maybe have a FEW savory things, like cheese and crackers. I'm not big on desserts... but obviously I'd pick something up before.
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  • Most people wouldn't want to eat a full dinner really late at night, so if you do have a late ceremony (8pm or later), I think it's perfectly fine to have a dessert-only reception. I would just make sure all of your guests are aware that it's strictly dessert beforehand, so they don't come too hungry. If you are going to have an earlier ceremony like your FI suggested, I would definitely provide dinner for everyone.
  • Why don't you do late night snacks and some desserts?  No formal meal, but a few yummy appetizers along with the desserts?
  • If i were running from work to make your reception after a long week of work, I would be surprised you did not offer a meal. In running from work I probably would not have time to eat and I would imagine many of your guests would be in the same position. This is why I would reconsider what you are offering as a hostess.
  • I think it being worded on the invites would give people plenty of time in advance to know that a full meal is not going to be served and agree that the time dictates what will be served.  If you ceremony is at 8 and the reception starts even later, people shouldn't expect a meal.  Apps and finger foods along with dessert sounds perfect.
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