Help! My FI lives in England, how can we have a catholic wedding in florida?

Re: Help! My FI lives in England, how can we have a catholic wedding in florida?

• Tami87 member

  

  July 2012

  I think the first thing is that you and your FI need to decide if YOU TWO want to get married in a Catholic church. How will your future families be raised? Do you plan to attend church after you are married? Which church? His family gets no say in this decision.
  
  If you decide that it is important to you to have a Catholic wedding and you are willing to agree to be open to children and raise them in the Catholic church (this question is asked during the ceremony), then I would start apporaching priests.
  
  Where do you plan to live after you are married? If there is somewhere in the United States where you will live and would be attending church in the future I would appraoch priests in that area and explain your situation. Since you were baptised Catholic (assuming since you said you used to be Catholic) I believe this situation is a little different than a Catholic marrying a non-Catholic. I have to run to work, I hope this helps some. I am sure others will chime in with more advice.

  

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• egm900 member

  

  July 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_help-my-fi-lives-in-england-how-can-we-have-a-catholic-wedding-in-florida?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:5aecc8fb-923e-46bb-ab54-b41aac3fe899Post:59c2222d-a006-4b53-851c-620fc8240732">Re: Help! My FI lives in England, how can we have a catholic wedding in florida?</a>:
  [QUOTE]I think the first thing is that you and your FI need to decide if YOU TWO want to get married in a Catholic church. How will your future families be raised? Do you plan to attend church after you are married? Which church? His family gets no say in this decision. If you decide that it is important to you to have a Catholic wedding and you are willing to agree to be open to children and raise them in the Catholic church (this question is asked during the ceremony), then I would start apporaching priests. Where do you plan to live after you are married? If there is somewhere in the United States where you will live and would be attending church in the future I would appraoch priests in that area and explain your situation. Since you were baptised Catholic (assuming since you said you used to be Catholic) I believe this situation is a little different than a Catholic marrying a non-Catholic. I have to run to work, I hope this helps some. I am sure others will chime in with more advice.
  Posted by Tami87[/QUOTE]
  
  <div>I agree wholeheartedly with Tami.  Please do not have a Catholic wedding to please anyone but you and your FI, and I feel like any priest will tell you this as well.  Since you were baptized Catholic, do you know any priest you could approach?  I say this just because I know it's easier to approach one you know than just walk off the street.  Otherwise, I would asked friends/family if they know one for you to talk to.  </div><div>
  </div><div>Having the marriage ceremony in the Catholic Church should be no issue since your FI is Catholic, but you will not be able to have the full Mass if you both don't identify yourselves as Catholic.  The biggest issue I see if the pre-marital prep, although they might be able to combine everything that you need to do in a "super weekend" sort of deal, but it's largely going to depend on what the priest who is marrying you and Archdiocese your marrying in requires for pre-marriage prep.</div>

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• sarahdactyI member

  

  July 2012

  I am sorry that your future in-laws are presenting this as an ultimatum! Like PPs said, the first thing you need to do is have an honest talk with your FI about the future life you want to live together: does it involve going to a Catholic church and raising your children Catholic? If he doesn't want to remain a practicing Catholic, and a non-Catholic wedding ceremony is not a big issue to him, he needs to be the one to tell his parents that. 

  
  

  Are they paying for the wedding? Honestly if they're paying, they will have a say in a lot of choices, but the ceremony isn't really one of them--that something for you and FI to make a as couple. Just as a side note, from what I've read on these boards, if they are presenting ultimatums perhaps it would be best to not rely on their contributions to the wedding. The last thing you need is to have $$ that you thought you'd have, pulled away from you at the last second because you did something against their wishes.

  
  

  If you two decide that you do want to have a Catholic ceremony, you'll probably want to find a church in Florida as soon as you can and ask them for their advice. Does FI have a church in London that he can get info from? 

  
  

  I'm not sure why the Catholic rules would prohibit you getting married in America - except for the issue of needing to go through marriage preparation together, which I would think would also be an issue if you tried to get married in a Catholic church in London (you'd have to go there to be present for counseling too, right?). 

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• agapecarrie member

  

  July 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_help-my-fi-lives-in-england-how-can-we-have-a-catholic-wedding-in-florida?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:5aecc8fb-923e-46bb-ab54-b41aac3fe899Post:52196c2a-4a2e-420d-aac2-84db9df6a6ac">Help! My FI lives in England, how can we have a catholic wedding in florida?</a>:
  [QUOTE]My fiance and I have a bit of a problem. First off, he lives in London and I live in the states. He is roman catholic and I used to be catholic, but have since then converted to Baptist. When we were dating, <strong>the family never had a problem with me not being Catholic. However, now we are engaged and planning a wedding. Now, they are insisting that we get married in a Catholic church or not get married at all.</strong> This is very emotionally stressful for me and my fiance doesn't know what to do. We have no idea how to take the first step in finding a church here that will marry us since I do not belong to one. Also, how would we go through counseling together if we are in different countries? We wanted to have the wedding in America, because it will be less expensive, however it is looking impossible with the Catholic rules for marriages. Does anyone have an suggestions or advice?
  Posted by riniel54[/QUOTE]
  
  <div>Wanting a Catholic to get married in a catholic church doesn't necessarily mean they have a problem with you not being Catholic.</div><div>
  </div><div>A Catholic is bound by canonical form to marry in the church otherwise it isn't a valid marriage. Their concern is for it to be a valid marriage. </div><div>
  </div>

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• chelseamb11 member

  

  July 2012

  I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this OP.  Like others said, you need to sit down and decide what you both want.  You don't need their permission to marry.  If he plans to continue his Catholic faith, a Catholic wedding would be the way to go because like Agape said, you would want to be sure it is valid in the eyeys of the Church.
  
  Good luck!

   
  
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