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Bridal Shower Problem

amasineamasine member
First Comment
in Pre-wedding Parties
Ok, I am having a bit of a bridal shower debacle and need some other brides take on the issue. My MOH wanted to do all of the planning of my bridal shower, which was fine with me (in fact I said I didn't really need to be involved in the planning). Since it is going to be a smaller group of women (about 11-12) my MOH thought having everyone meet at a nice place for lunch and do the festivities there. I guess she was planning on asking the guests to put $15 towards the lunch tab and then paying the difference and gratuity herself. My mother WAS NOT happy about asking people to pay for lunch. I guess I didn't see the big deal since whether you  cater at someone's house or go to a restaurant, someone pays for food but what is the etiquette for this? This whole thing is starting to be a real stress for me. Need some advice. Oh and the shower is supposed to be this Sunday so not a lot of time for crazy changes.
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Re: Bridal Shower Problem

  • SaraAndrew2010SaraAndrew2010 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Shower guests should not be asked to pay for their food.  That's tacky.  The shower host(s) shoule provide all of the food for the party.  The shower host(s) should throw the bridal shower she/they can afford.  It doesn't have to be fancy. Instead of at a restaurant, that could mean lunch or cake and punch in someone's home. 
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic My wedding bio: http://saraandrewbio.weebly.com/
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  • marissa_clairemarissa_claire member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    If your MOH is hosting then she needs to pay for their food.  Hosting doesn't imply that you're sending out the invites, but rather implies that you are providing the party for them.  These people are already going to shell out $$ to bring you presents and for some reason you think it's okay to ask them to also pay for their meal?  It is rude and in poor taste.  

    If your MOH can't afford much, then suggest something cheaper or low-key.  There's no reason you couldn't have pizza or appetizers that are homemade.  
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  • jeanna85jeanna85 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    As a guest, I would rather go to a low-key shower at someone's house with just cake and coffee than go out somewhere for a meal and be expected to pay for lunch on top of a gift.
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  • waltzingmatilda13waltzingmatilda13 member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Guests at any event should not be expected to pay. The host should absorb all the costs. If going out some place is not in the host's budget, she needs to plan something smaller that is affordable without asking for other to contribute.
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Your mom is right.  It's very poor form for your MOH to ask guests to pay for food at a party that she's hosting.

    Tell your MOH that you appreciate her offer of a shower, but that if guests are to have to pay for their meal, you'll decline the offer.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • myweddingplan1myweddingplan1 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree, asking them to pay is tacky....PERIOD!
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  • scillawtp7scillawtp7
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with the other posts. Keep the date and time, but try to change the location so your MOH can throw it without asking the guests to pay.
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