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Engagement Announcements/JOP?

littleissa86littleissa86
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in Military Brides
FI and I have been together for 4 years and are finally getting married in November, about a month before he leaves for OSUT for the Army.  Our plan is to do a JOP wedding with our immediate family in November, then the following year have the traditional ceremony and reception when he will have leave and we have the money/time.  Our family and friends are extremely supportive of this, which has made it a lot easier!

We want to send out engagement announcements to the friends and family we plan to invite to the traditional ceremony and reception letting them know that we've gotten engaged, plan to have a JOP wedding before he leaves, and then have the traditional ceremony and want them to be a part of our special day.  We don't want to hide the JOP wedding, but we want people to know that when we have the traditional ceremony and reception that we want them to be there to help us celebrate with our loved ones.

What do you suggest for the wording on the engagement announcements?  We're struggling with the right way to word it so that it sounds appropriate and succinct.  Have any of you ladies done this, and how did you handle it?

Thanks in advance for your help!!  You have no idea how much we both appreciate it! Laughing

-Melissa


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Re: Engagement Announcements/JOP?

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    calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011

    First, congratulations and welcome!  We see far too many girls trying to do all this in secret, so if your family and friends are supportive, then best of luck to you!

    I'm not sure how to word an engagement announcement - you mean to say like a Save the Date kind of thing that lets them know about the situation?  I really can't think of how to word that, though I have lots of suggestions on how to word the invitation!

    How many people will you be inviting to your traditional ceremony/vow renewal next year?  Can you just do it via word of mouth?  It's probably the easiest way to do it.  It's kind of crappy to hear "We're getting married, but we don't want you there, so can you come next year and bring gifts?"  I know that's not what you want to say or even how you feel, but likely someone's going to take it that way.  Perhaps just let people know personally that's your plan.  I mean, even if you're inviting 150 people, you should be able to divide that up between your parents and you and your FI and conquer it pretty quickly.  I'd much rather get a phone call from a friend or family member that said, "Hey!  I'm engaged!  Squeee!  Listen, because of X, Y, and Z, we're actually getting married in a really small quick ceremony on X day, but we're going to plan a traditional wedding with the big dress and cake and dancing and everything for next year and I'd love it if you could make it.  We'll send an invitation when it gets closer, k?"

    And then you word the invitations to indicate you're renewing your vows rather than getting married - people will understand and get the hint of what's going on.  Some may not choose to make as much effort to come since you're already married, but that's just the risk you take doing things the way you're doing it.  It sounds like you're trying to be up front with everyone, so hopefully your nearest and dearest will make every effort to be there!  Good luck!


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    littleissa86littleissa86
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    edited December 2011
    Thanks for the welcome, the congrats, and the great advice!  We definietly don't want to do this in secret, and your advice has been really helpful about how to go about doing all of this--it's a little overwhelming! 

    As for the engagement announchements, I think you're probably right about wanting to make sure that people don't feel like we're saying "we don't want you at the ceremony the first time around, but bring presents next year" because that's definitely not what we are trying to say.  In our circle of family/friends, engagement announcements seem to be very popular so we are trying to figure out a way to incorproate them.  Not so much a "save the date" kind of thing, but a "hey, look what we did!" thing.  I assumed that putting the JOP/big ceremony info on there would be appropriate, but maybe not.

    And thanks for letting me know about calling the big ceremony a VR so people aren't confused.  This has all been really helpful!  :)  Thanks again!!


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    SamiJoeBSamiJoeB
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    C gave you great advice!!

    I just wanted to say Welcome to the Board and Congrats on your engagement!!
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    littleissa86littleissa86
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_engagement-announcementsjop?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:60f35176-62f2-41dc-a0a6-caae16167c4aPost:6db7cf0a-7f9f-40df-b1ee-0217c058f4b8">Re: Engagement Announcements/JOP?</a>:
    [QUOTE]C gave you great advice!! I just wanted to say Welcome to the Board and Congrats on your engagement!!
    Posted by SamiJoeB[/QUOTE]


    Thanks so much!!


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    calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Well, then just send an engagement announcement that makes absolutely no mention of when/where/how you're getting married - just let people know you're engaged!  And then call up and explain the special circumstances.  The plus side is that it'll give you a great opportunity to catch up with all your family and friends.

    I think bad or weird or even just out of the ordinary news is always best given person-to-person because so much can be misinterpreted in writing.  People could get really pissy about an engagement announcement that specifically tells them what they're not invited to whereas just telling them about your plans on the phone will make them fully support you and be on board with how you guys are doing things.  Just my perspective!

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    littleissa86littleissa86
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_engagement-announcementsjop?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:60f35176-62f2-41dc-a0a6-caae16167c4aPost:a696a8a1-73f9-4747-93ad-a17e94a8df1b">Re: Engagement Announcements/JOP?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well, then just send an engagement announcement that makes absolutely no mention of when/where/how you're getting married - just let people know you're engaged!  And then call up and explain the special circumstances.  The plus side is that it'll give you a great opportunity to catch up with all your family and friends. I think bad or weird or even just out of the ordinary news is always best given person-to-person because so much can be misinterpreted in writing.  People could get really pissy about an engagement announcement that specifically tells them what they're not invited to whereas just telling them about your plans on the phone will make them fully support you and be on board with how you guys are doing things.  Just my perspective!
    Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]

    I can already think of at least 4 people who would feel like that...haha!  So thanks for pointing it out before I made that mistake and had to deal with them! :)


    Wedding Countdown Ticker

    "We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love." - Dr. Seuss

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