Am I over-reacting??

kitad05 · January 2013

So, my bridal shower is Sunday. I was informed by MOH that one of bridesmaid may not be in attendance. Note that MOH didn't want to tell me but she slipped it and I made over continue. So this was last week and I have talked the said bridesmaid since and she made no mention of not being able to attend or of her mom's bday. Fast forward to today. I text her and asked if she will be at the shower. She replies no she want and that she tod MOH and that it is her moms bday and she is moving home tomorrow. Home to her is 45 mins to an hour from here. So I ask her when did she plan to tell me and tell her that she can bring her mom along. So says she will ask her mom. My issue at first was the fact that she didn't tell me anything about not coming. Now, I have a new issue. I ask her what are her plans fit her moms bday and she quickly replies, "we are going to try to go out to eat nothing huge" .WTF!!!! You are blowing off my bridal shower for plans you haven't even made for your mom. Please note that my bridal shower is from 2 pm - 4 pm. #beyond pissed. Thinking about retracting the invitation; shouldn't have to beg bridesmaid to attend my shower.

Dannitra01 · January 2013

Yeah, I think I would feel some kinda way about that too. I mean, why wouldn't she say something before now? Still, I wouldn't be quick to recind the invite. Try to step outside of yourself and look at he situation. Is she typically the type of person to keep things to herself? Has she been distant the entire time or is this the firt instance? Maybe there's a deeper issue at hand and she is making herself scarce so that her mood won't ruin your shower. OAN: When it is all said and done, one monke don't stop no show. She may not be there, but you are going to have a room full of women that love you and want to share in your joy.

kitad05 · January 2013

Thanks for the advice. She is always coming up with some excuse for everything. Ranging from purchasing her dress on time to this. I have slept on it and Im still a little upset but I know that my shower will be great regardless, so I'm focusing on the positive.

[Deleted User] · January 2013

kita don't get mad at me, this may sound technical but consider that your bridesmaid didn't tell you this because it's your MOH who issued the invite. Technically, she answered the person who invited her. That's one thing. The second thing may be that she doesn't want her mother to feel like she is *sharing* her birthday being brought to a celebration for and about someone else. The timing is totally unfortunate but her reasons may have nothing to do with you.

this here: "She may not be there, but you are going to have a room full of women that love you and want to share in your joy."

couldn't agree more and I hope you can enjoy your day regardless, it does sound like it's gonna be awesome luvie

kitad05 · January 2013

@ SultryZulu, I'm not mad at all. I welcome all different perspective because I am coming from an emotional perspective, so thank you. I understand that she told MOH and yes, that is better than not saying anything at all. It's just that I thought we were better than that plus this isn't the first time she has presented issues, I'm just trying to convince myself that sit is worth keeping her apart of the wedding to avoid future issues and disappointment. Also, I get that it is moms bday but there isn't any solid plans for the celebration.

[Deleted User] · January 2013

{hugs}

this is me... in my head....talking to my girlfriend/bm: I love you to the ends of my ashy ass toenails. Now, are you gonna get your raggedy act together in the next 6 weeks or would you like to be the best dressed program hostess ever? your call either wh'ay but I can't have gray hair in the pictures darlin.

if you're gonna say it, when you're done, tilt your head to the side puppy dog style so she knows there's no grease.

as for your disappointment, this is such a heady and emotional time. I really hope you get a chance to enjoy it. Meet your friend where she is (not where you'd like her to be) and it'll help you manage your expectations without resentment. awww, I feel bad keets, you should be having so much fun right now!! you'se bout to murry'd gal!! lol.

aquari0216 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_am-i-over-reacting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:47c93a45-057f-40e5-b880-b468990806ffPost:7ce7c9ee-2f02-44f5-93e4-2ac318f6cdac">Re: Am I over-reacting??</a>:
[QUOTE]kita don't get mad at me, this may sound technical but consider that your bridesmaid didn't tell you this because it's your MOH who issued the invite. Technically, she answered the person who invited her. That's one thing. The second thing may be that she doesn't want her mother to feel like she is *sharing* her birthday being brought to a celebration for and about someone else. The timing is totally unfortunate but her reasons may have nothing to do with you. this here: "She may not be there, but you are going to have a room full of women that love you and want to share in your joy." couldn't agree more and I hope you can enjoy your day regardless, it does sound like it's gonna be awesome luvie :)
Posted by sultryzulu[/QUOTE]
MY THOUGHTS RIGHT HERE....IN ADDITION TO TOO MANY OTHER THINGS TO THINK ABOUT

kitad05 · January 2013

Thanks Ladies! You all are right, there is too much to worry about. @Sultry, you are full of wisdom and unbiasness. Kudos to you all!

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