Deceased parent on the invite?

kxkel15 · June 2011

I'm sorry if this is a dumb question, but my fiance's father died two years ago but meant a lot to him. Our invitations say "daughter of" and "son of", so how should that be worded? His father won't physically be there, but he was still his father...I'm confused

GeauxTigers17 · June 2011

The general rule is deceased people don't belong on an invitation because they (obviously) cannot host. I think the appropriate place to mention loved ones is the program. Invitations are a utilitarian piece of paper, or at least were originally meant to be: they tell guests who's hosting, who the guests of honor are, and where to be at what time. They aren't meant to be an acknowledgment of the bride and groom's families, you know? I understand that it's a hard time for your fiancé to be without his dad (my cousin's mom died when she was 13, and certain parts of her wedding last year were really, really hard) so I understand the impulse, but I still say follow etiquette on this one and do something for his dad in the program/light a candle for him at the ceremony.

ajroark · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_deceased-parent-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:739ba517-d21c-4a56-bf81-777b67c129ddPost:52eb3963-6373-4e35-bb9c-d40d798a30dc">Re: Deceased parent on the invite?</a>:
[QUOTE]The general rule is deceased people don't belong on an invitation because they (obviously) cannot host. I think the appropriate place to mention loved ones is the program. Invitations are a utilitarian piece of paper, or at least were originally meant to be: they tell guests who's hosting, who the guests of honor are, and where to be at what time. They aren't meant to be an acknowledgment of the bride and groom's families, you know? I understand that it's a hard time for your fiancé to be without his dad (my cousin's mom died when she was 13, and certain parts of her wedding last year were really, really hard) so I understand the impulse, but I still say follow etiquette on this one and do something for his dad in the program/light a candle for him at the ceremony.
Posted by GeauxTigers17[/QUOTE]

I agree with this - who is paying for your wedding?

Chelle1015 · June 2011

My best friend put...

Daughter of (The Late) John and Sandy LastName

We all thought it was very sweet to have on the invitation, and it really honored him. This is your call. I'm not a traditionalist or rule follower, so I say do what you feel is right!

MrsCoopDawg3467 · June 2011

We put son of

<Mom's name> and the Late <Dad's name>

My FI wanted it that way. If we were going to put his mom we 'had' to put his dad.

vicki0508 · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_deceased-parent-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:739ba517-d21c-4a56-bf81-777b67c129ddPost:52eb3963-6373-4e35-bb9c-d40d798a30dc">Re: Deceased parent on the invite?</a>:
[QUOTE]The general rule is deceased people don't belong on an invitation because they (obviously) cannot host. I think the appropriate place to mention loved ones is the program. Invitations are a utilitarian piece of paper, or at least were originally meant to be: <strong>they tell guests who's hosting, who the guests of honor are, and where to be at what time. They aren't meant to be an acknowledgment of the bride and groom's families, you know?</strong> I understand that it's a hard time for your fiancé to be without his dad (my cousin's mom died when she was 13, and certain parts of her wedding last year were really, really hard) so I understand the impulse, but I still say follow etiquette on this one and do something for his dad in the program/light a candle for him at the ceremony.
Posted by GeauxTigers17[/QUOTE]
I agree with this.

hz80408 · June 2011

I'm sorry for your FI's loss, but the invitation is not an appropriate place to pay condelensces/memories to him.

Like pp's pointed out, it's not physically possible for a deceased person to host a wedding, therefore they should not be included on the invite.

tenofcups4me · June 2011

"Son of" doesn't imply hosting, so you could put the father there and it wouldn't mean that a deceased person is hosting. That said, I don't really think the invitation is the place to include that, but I wouldn't side-eye it if you did.

I actually pretty strongly disagree with this: They aren't meant to be an acknowledgment of the bride and groom's families, you know?

When you're using "son of," that's exactly the intent -- to acknowledge the (usually) groom's parents as his parents, whether they're hosting or not. That's often how "together with their parents" plays out today too -- it's not uncommon to include the parents that way, whether they're paying/hosting or not.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · June 2011

I agree with Ten. A deceased person can't host a wedding (and thus can't invite you TO the wedding), but "son of" or "daughter of" simply denotes a relationship and confirms who the person on the invitation actually is (Oh! John Smith, Bob Smith's son.). In that case, I think it's perfectly fine.

vgyurko · June 2011

My father passed away when I was little... My fiance and I are paying for everything associated with the wedding.. that being said we're not including parents names at all on the invitation...

I am however putting a picture of my father and I on the altar for the ceremony, as well as on the table with the guest book, place cards etc.. to put an 'in memory' kind of thing...

Deceased parent on the invite?

Re: Deceased parent on the invite?

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