QOTD 8/7

minionlover · August 2012

Would you sign a pre-nup if your FI asked?

islandmonkey8 · August 2012

I would if he asked - but he won't. We don't have anything that a pre-nup would cover.

[Deleted User] · August 2012

Yes, but I would insist that I keep all the money I make and that he supports me while we are married!

bkhokie27 · August 2012

Yes. This is the 2nd marriage for both FI and I. We've been burned (financially, emotionally, etc) by our former spouses and I wouldn't want that to happen again. I know a pre-nup seems harsh; like, "how could you even think about having a pre-nup? We love each other and are going to be together for the rest of our lives." Stuff happens. While we're not doing a pre-nup, we will go to a lawyer later and do some sort of property agreement in addition to setting up power of attorney, wills, etc. It's so important to get your stuff straightened out. I've seen lack of planning, when it comes to these things, ruin families.

snuff9861 · August 2012

If either of us was going to ask for a prenup, it would be me. FI is terrible with money. I don't even know if he would agree to sign one. But at this point I don't feel the need for one.

SharEtoBe · August 2012

If FI wanted one, I'd sign but we are bringing equal things to the the marriage so there won't be a pre-nup.

goatlady12 · August 2012

We don't have a need for one. Our money, bills, house is all combined already, and everything's equal. It wouldn't make any sense.

lehc723 · August 2012

I guess so, although neither of us really would need one, and because of that, I might be wary as to why he was asking.

achiduck · August 2012

I would and we did discuss it since FI bought the condo before he even met me, but since he didn't have very much equity in it before I moved in it was a moot point.

When my father passes away I have a sizeable inheritance coming my way but because it's in my name only it's protected under Ontario law (not that I'm worried about it, but it's good information to know).

mlperkins12 · August 2012

Yes, I would but I would be sure to involve a good lawyer at that point. This will sound cold, but a pre-nup adds a business element to the marriage and I would treat that aspect as such. Business is business and I would make sure I protected myself. With that said, we really don't have a need for one. We own our home together already and though we live comfortably, we don't have nearly enough for a pre-nup.

mbuckley85 · August 2012

I would consider it. Neither FI or I feel it is necessary though (this topic came up on another board so I asked him how he felt). We already split things pretty even, though FI wishes he could "support" me more financially, its not happening yet because of his job (I make more money than him). I cannot imagine divorce. Neither of us believe in it and we really feel like we are going to do everything in our power to be together forever. Maybe it is naive on our parts, but my parents have been married 28 years and FI's have been married over 40 years. Our parents have had their rough patches and made it through them and FI and I will too.

pockysquirrel · August 2012

If either of us had assets worth protecting, sure. FI makes a lot more than I do, but he also has a lot more student loan debt, so it evens out.

Ali092011 · August 2012

I would sign one of FI asked and it honestly wouldn't bother me. However, neither of us feels the need to draw one up--we really don't have much in the way of assets and we don't make a lot of money.

jessiflower · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_qotd-87?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:605c3e42-0587-47da-8d2a-89e82640d3a4Post:8c026be8-b3cb-4cb5-a12e-bbbedbf6768f">Re: QOTD 8/7</a>:
[QUOTE]We don't have a need for one. Our money, bills, house is all combined already, and everything's equal. It wouldn't make any sense.
Posted by Seipel12[/QUOTE]

We are in the same boat....been living together for over four years...have a house and vehicles together already....wouldn't make sense for us either...

Simply_Caitlin · August 2012

He did bring it up when we first got engaged, mostly to protect his retirement and his Harleys as he's had a lot of friends burned in past marriages. I agreed pretty much without even thinking about it. Some people look at it as "we're going to be together forever, so why sign it" but I look at it as "we're going to be together forever so there's no harm in signing it." If it puts his mind as ease when I'm walking down the aisle, there's only positives to come out of it. I don't want him going into the marriage with any concerns.

That being said, he never drew up the prenup with his lawyer. I mentioned it when we met with his financial planner last month to make some beneficiary changes and he smiled and said "nah, I don't think we need one." So there's that. I think planning ahead means you're being logical and protecting yourself. I don't think it takes away any of the romance of marriage.

fishinflagrl · August 2012

In Response to Re:QOTD 8/7:[QUOTE]I guess so, although neither of us really would need one, and because of that, I might be wary as to why he was asking. Posted by lehc723[/QUOTE]

This. I wouldn't just question why since everything is already split. I almost made a prenup for the dog. My FI said it would be joint custody. Haha we love our dog.

ivedonethisb4 · August 2012

If FI insisted, sure. It would really be a moot point though because neither of us has a lot. We each own our own car. His is paid and mine will be in a few months. We bought them a few months apart. Other than that its personal belongings etc. We're about to buy a house and will close before the wedding but honestly if anything happened he could have it. Its a few minutes from his moms and in his hometown not mine. FI also has bought and paid for 6 acres of property since we were dating. I paid closing cost but he repaid me so its 100 his in my eyes. We had planned to build on it one day but he'll probably sell it and pay down on our house. I came from a broken family and so I'm very adamant that I won't be like my parents. Marriage is work and you have to team up to make it through the bad times and so I really don't see us divorcing but you never can predict the future.

ktelizabeth86 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_qotd-87?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:605c3e42-0587-47da-8d2a-89e82640d3a4Post:60fcd9c2-9565-4b65-9fb3-a70dc9162d19">Re:QOTD 8/7</a>:
[QUOTE]If either of us had assets worth protecting, sure. FI makes a lot more than I do, but he also has a lot more student loan debt, so it evens out.
Posted by pockysquirrel[/QUOTE]

This is us exactly. We have no need for a pre nup. We don't have much lol.

ericaandtom2012 · August 2012

If FI wanted one, I would probably sign it. We don't really have anything other than our savings and we each have a car, so it'd be a pretty straightforward prenup. I see it the same way as Caitlin does, "we're going to be together forever, so there's no harm in signing it". I doubt FI would even suggest one; if anyone would suggest one it'd be me, mostly to protect him.

BrittneyRN · August 2012

I would absolutely, but we don't need one. Neither of us owns a home. I think pre-nups are smart for a lot of people.

lv2011 · August 2012

As others have said, neither of us have assets in need of protecting. But had he asked, I'd have said sure.

LDubHawksFan · August 2012

I would if he wanted to.

mrshall1027 · August 2012

FI doesn't believe in them, so he wouldn't have ever asked. If anything, I would be the one to ask because I have ownership in my company and I make more money. It's never come up and I won't be asking for one. But if he wanted one, I don't think it would be a problem.

catwine · August 2012

doing a quick scan of these posts i think i'm the only one who says NO WAY.
If he asked me I'd ask him what the heck for. If he divorced me I wouldn't want anything of his becuase he would be dead to me. In my opinion, a pre-nup is like saying you don't believe the mariage will last.

Poppy101212 · August 2012

If one of us were asking for a prenup it would be me. Honestly if he wanted one I would wonder what he was hiding.

ReyesToy · August 2012

We've talked about it...but neither of us really feel we have a "right" to anyone's money or possessions...we're talking about material things that can be replaced. We don't see ourselves coming close to ever needing one but if by any chance, we don't work out, i'm sure we'll be civil and give and take what we're comfortable with.

minionlover · August 2012

I would if he asked but we have also talked about whose "stuff" is whose and we believe that our "stuff" is equally shared whether we had it before our relationship or not.

reagane02 · August 2012

I would. I've worked in banking for awhile and I've seen some of the stuff people do to each other (draining accounts and what not) If FI asked, I would sign a pre nup

mmmendi · August 2012

We have talked about it, and laughed about what we don't have - and the 'what if's. He lost everything in his divorce. I walked away with everything (and the debt for it). Even knowing where both of us were...neither of us would desire or sign one now.

I did see someone prior to FI that I am sure would have demanded a pre-nup. We never were serious enough to discuss that, and knowing he would demand it bothered me. I think many couples really are just being business smart in reference to existing assets, but I think I take it personally.

pengy16 · August 2012

I'm probably the only one who will say I am actually getting a pre-nup. I pushed for it. FI said as long as it was fair he would sign. I told him back when we were dating and starting to talk about the future I wanted one, so he has known about it for years.
In MD, since I make more than him(70/30 and it will get larger as I grow in my career), he would automatically be granted alimony. He said he doenst want it, but he wouldnt get a say in the matter, the courts would make the decision. So I am covering for that. Also everything is in my name (assets and debts), everything is seperate but as soon as we are married, it becomes marital property and legally he gets half of everything even though he hasnt paid for anything (I pay the mortgage, he pays all the little bills). Also without something stating FI has no claim to my 401k, I have to get approval from him before I can use the funds or make changes once we are married. In a divorce he would be able to collect about half from my 401k.

My mom went through a very messy divorce so I have always wanted one no matter who I married to cover myself in case. Although I dont see FI and I getting a divorce, you never know what will happen in life and I rather CYA now while I still happy and in love with FI then when we are at each others throats in a divorce.

Its like insurance for your marriage. You get it in hopes you dont need it but just in case your covered.

QOTD 8/7

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