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Uninviting coworkers after a job loss??

KKay920KKay920
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
My fiancé just lost his job a month before I am to send out my invites.. We already sent out save the dates.. What is everyone's opinion on not sending invitations to the coworkers of his previous job; now that he will not be working there and our financial situation has changed and we will never see them again, should I have to pay for all those people just because of etiquette?
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Re: Uninviting coworkers after a job loss??

  • MyUserName1MyUserName1 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    Is he trying to get a job in the same industry?  If so, I would ABSOLUTELY NOT burn that bridge.
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  • melisrodismelisrodis
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_uninviting-coworkers-after-a-job-loss?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8629fa54-0bb6-4d86-9c52-9e05ad7fe42aPost:0379c87a-118b-4637-95fe-7cc3025434f9">Uninviting coworkers after a job loss??</a>:
    [QUOTE]My fiancé just lost his job a month before I am to send out my invites.. We already sent out save the dates.. What is everyone's opinion on not sending invitations to the coworkers of his previous job; now that he will not be working there and our financial situation has changed and we will never see them again, <strong>should I have to pay for all those people just because of etiquette</strong>?
    Posted by KKay920[/QUOTE]

    Hmm...well...I think you know what etiquette dictates in this case.  (I'm sure people will correct me if I am wrong.)  How important etiquette is to you as you are making your decision is kinda...up to you.

    I completely get why you are regretting sending his co-workers save the dates in light of recent events, but I don't see how you can avoid a breach of etiquette if you don't send them invitations.

    So I think you have to weigh your options.  How okay are you with being seen as rude by these former co-workers (because you will be)?  Would any of them be genuinely put out?  How hurt would they be?  Are you looking at scaling back your ENTIRE wedding?  Like to immediate family ONLY?  Or are you just looking for a convenient way to cut a few more people out of the list?

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  • TurtlesAllTheWayDownTurtlesAllTheWayDown member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    If you are inviting them because he is close with them and sees them outside of work, then yes. If he wants to use any of them as references, then yes.

    Otherwise, I'm not sure why you were planning on inviting them in the first place.
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  • LoopysevenLoopyseven member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    This is one of the reasons I didn't send STD's... (or invite any co-workers, really).

    OP - If they got STD's, then etiquette says they get invitations.  If your FI may run into any of these people at professional events or need to network with any of them, I would not burn the bridge and would suck it up and still invite them.  If you are moving away or changing industries etc and probably will never see them again, I can't really see any serious consequences to flouting the etiquette line in this case.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_uninviting-coworkers-after-a-job-loss?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8629fa54-0bb6-4d86-9c52-9e05ad7fe42aPost:0d88ea0f-d5e7-4391-a049-481537803c0f">Re: Uninviting coworkers after a job loss??</a>:
    [QUOTE]If you are inviting them because he is close with them and sees them outside of work, then yes. If he wants to use any of them as references, then yes. <strong>Otherwise, I'm not sure why you were planning on inviting them in the first place.
    </strong>Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

    All of this, especially the bolded part.

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  • Meegles4Meegles4 member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_uninviting-coworkers-after-a-job-loss?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8629fa54-0bb6-4d86-9c52-9e05ad7fe42aPost:0d88ea0f-d5e7-4391-a049-481537803c0f">Re: Uninviting coworkers after a job loss??</a>:
    [QUOTE]If you are inviting them because he is close with them and sees them outside of work, then yes. If he wants to use any of them as references, then yes. Otherwise, I'm not sure why you were planning on inviting them in the first place.
    Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

    Yep, ditto this.
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  • rbmojo1rbmojo1 member
    10 Comments
    My response is NOT proper etiquette, but more "real life".  If your FI wants anything to do with these former coworkers in the future then I would still invite them.  If your FI doesn't care one way or another don't worry about it.  I know, I know, the etiquette Gods shall strike me down with a vengence, but whatever. 
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  • melisrodismelisrodis
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_uninviting-coworkers-after-a-job-loss?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8629fa54-0bb6-4d86-9c52-9e05ad7fe42aPost:1a779511-aaec-4134-9941-411f3c2a7fef">Re: Uninviting coworkers after a job loss??</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Uninviting coworkers after a job loss?? : <strong>Whether or not it made sense to invite them originally, they have been invited now through an STD and OP is essentially planning to UNinvite them.</strong>  I just don't think that's a good plan with her FI looking for work in presumably the same industry.  As someone who did HR for several years, I can tell you that references that AREN'T provided by the applicant carry 5 times the weight as those that do.  All it takes is for someone in charge of hiring at a potential new job to know someone who works at FI's former company for this whole thing to start costing him jobs. Not. Worth. It.
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    I agree with this completely.  OP, you really need to weigh your options and consider the potential consequences.  I just wouldn't mess with work relations.

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  • WildMageletWildMagelet member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    I would still invite them.  Presumably, it's not their fault you FI lost his job and you have no reason to "punish" them because of it. 

    If they got an STD, they need to get an invite.
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  • Summer2011BrideSummer2011Bride member
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Like everyone said, I would still invite them. If they have truly lost touch, the ex CWs may decline the invitation; however, regardless, it would be in his best interest to not burn bridges if he plans to work in the same or similar field going forward. Plus STD=invitation, so etiquette-wise, it's the right thing to do.



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