Engagement Party gifts?

bsn1752 · July 2010

OK - So I'm scared of the E Board.

My FI's mom is throwing us a formal engagement party (yes, we've been engaged for a couple months now). She asked where we were registered so she can pass the information around. My question is, is it customary to bring gifts to an engagement party? I've always heard, bring a gift to every event you're invited to, but does that include engagement parties?

Thoughts?

ajdubya126 · July 2010

We are attending a formal engagement party at a hotel and we are bringing a gift. However, the groom's family lives here and the bride's family is in NJ which is where the wedding is. Since we are not attending the wedding, we wanted to bring a gift. I would expect a mix of people bringing and not bringing gifts. It kind of depends on the individual attending. I know my mom is very old fashion and brings a gift to every event and buys gifts for the ones she missed. However, I don't think that's necessary and I don't think people will feel as though they have to bring a gift.

mandaroo7 · July 2010

I recently helped host an engagement party and everyone brought gifts. Although, this was called a "stock the bar" type party so I believe it was a given. I attended my cousin's engagement party last year and no gifts were given.

BanannaP · July 2010

Our engagement party was at the beginning of January (we'd been engaged for six months at this point). A lot of people asked my mom where we were registered, but we weren't. Actually, we still aren't, but we'll get there. Whenever my mom was asked about it, she told people to not bring gifts. A few did anyways. We got a couple gift cards, an scent diffuser, small things like that. Some people even just brought cards.

So, if people ask your FMIL, I think it's acceptable for her to tell them. Just make sure that the gifts are placed in another room as people bring them so that non-gift bringers don't feel awkward.

llc2011 · July 2010

I've been to two engagement parties and took gifts to both. One party the couple had already registered so I just picked a couple things off of that. The other couple had not registered, so I got a frame engraved with their names and wedding date.

It wasn't necessary for me to bring a gift to either parties (and there were guests that didn't bring anything), but I wanted to.

lesalyric · July 2010

I threw my cousin an engagement party in February and she and her FI received some cards with money and some cards just with congratulations. I believe she might have also received a few bottles of wine.

I do not think it is the custom to bring gifts to an e-party, but as a person who brings a hostess gift every time I am invited for dinner, I would probably bring a card with a small donation toward the wedding fund. I feel like it just depends on if the guest is a gifter or not.

sparklingdiamond · July 2010

We got a few gifts from people, but most people didn't bring anything. I did get a lot of cards though. :-)

balfour00 · July 2010

At our engagement party people just brought wine/champagne and cards. I didn't expect any gifts since it was pretty close to after he proposed.

NMac2010 · July 2010

I don't think you typically bring gifts to an engagement party.

I was engaged previously and it was a longer engagement, and we had an e-party about 2 months after we got engaged and nobody brought gifts. I wouldn't buy a gift if FI and I went to an e-party now.

Donnaaries · July 2010

I didn't have an engagement party but I think it's not usual to bring gifts to engagement parts. Think about it, if you're inviting someone to an engagement party, a shower later on, the wedding, and possibly a bachelorette party, that's 4 gifts for one wedding.

tam427 · July 2010

We had an engagement party and got a few gifts but most just brought food/wine/etc. It was informal and actually included a lot of people not invited to the wedding which i know is a big no-no on the etiquette forum. Ohh well!

bsn1752 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_engagement-party-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:b70f55c8-f4ed-4792-9203-cec68e026712Post:6cdfce95-c983-4f9e-9388-23ef42776c30">Re: Engagement Party gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]I didn't have an engagement party but I think it's not usual to bring gifts to engagement parts. Think about it, if you're inviting someone to an engagement party, a shower later on, the wedding, and possibly a bachelorette party, that's 4 gifts for one wedding.
Posted by Donnaaries[/QUOTE]

That's what I said to my FMIL. She said that people were asking her about registry info. I think I'm just going to tell her to tell guests that gifts aren't required.

TexanTreasure08 · July 2010

My FI's family gives gifts for everything. They even got me a couple of things after we had announced that we were engaged. They also want to throw an engagement party for us and by that day (August) we will have been engaged 5 months. I want to register beforehand because I know they will give us gifts and if I don't tell them what to get us they will get us stuff we don't like that just ends up taking up room in our little house. I know that sounds rude, but that's how we work. They even asked for a list of stuff we needed (basically a hand made registry) when we bought a house.

I say there's no harm in starting a registry, and only those people who ask because they are planning on getting a gift anyways will know about it. I don't see anything wrong with that if they are asking you about it.

MarieSD · July 2010

My parents recently hosted a BBQ at their house and a bunch of my relatives and friends came over to meet my FI for the first time ever (we live really far away from them, but were in town for the weekend). It wasn't an engagement party per se, but I still had worried people might bring something (and I didn't want anything). I think my mom had headed that off by telling people who inquired that a fun thing to bring would be some easy recipes for us to cook, since we also just moved in together and are cooking newbies.

I got a bunch of recipes from all different relatives, including some foods they used to cook for me when I was a little kid! Some typed, some handwritten, all completely free. I put them all together in a recipe book (along with some handwritten recipes from his mom) and it's in our kitchen.

We still haven't cooked a thing from it, but I love it nonethless. And we WILL get to cooking proper meals. Someday.

TexanTreasure08 · July 2010

aww that is a cute idea Marie!!

Engagement Party gifts?

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