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July 2012 Weddings
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A little nervous about this weekend - Any Advice?

YuMMMy721YuMMMy721 member
100 Comments
in July 2012 Weddings
So I am pretty nervous about this weekend and would love any advice from anyone who has gone through a similar situation. 
On Sunday FI and I are getting together with his parents to discuss rehersal dinner and other important wedding events. This wouldn't seem so nerve wracking excpet that FMIL and FFIL are divorced. I have never seen the two of them even in the same town let alone sitting at the same dinner table. We are meeting in a mutual location (a diner halfway between the two parents) for a meal. 
On top of that FFIL and I have a great relationship and have already discussed the rehersal dinner several times. FMIL and I dont see eye to eye about anything, and everything she has brough up about the wedding has just ticked me off (everything should be about her and not FI and I) and she has never even mentioned rehersal dinner, except that she needs to find a beautiful dress for it. 
So I am a little nervous and have no idea what to expect. My parents are still married, so I have never even realy dealt with the dynamics of a split family. 
Any advice you guys can give would be great!! Definitely starting to get nervous/freak out a little bit!!

image 183 Invited image 101 Are ready to party!! image 82 Are missing out image 0 Are Driving me Crazy!! The new Mrs. McIver!! :)
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Re: A little nervous about this weekend - Any Advice?

  • colleenm18colleenm18 member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Comments Name Dropper
    Coming from a set of divorced parents and also being in a relationship with someone who has divorced parents my best advice to you is.  Smile and stay out of it.

    If the parents do not get along or begin an argument with one another STAY OUT OF IT!  If FI wants both parents to be involved then he needs to be the one who delegates to them how everyone can and will be involved.

    Good luck and dont be nervous. 
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  • littlemoments324littlemoments324 member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_a-little-nervous-about-this-weekend-any-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:8776edc9-4d51-4d61-8645-555f4f60298ePost:6022c22c-0343-4b86-818c-e8f1e910e17f">Re: A little nervous about this weekend - Any Advice?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Coming from a set of divorced parents and also being in a relationship with someone who has divorced parents my best advice to you is.  <strong>Smile and stay out of it. If the parents do not get along or begin an argument with one another STAY OUT OF IT!  If FI wants both parents to be involved then he needs to be the one who delegates to them how everyone can and will be involved. </strong>Good luck and dont be nervous. 
    Posted by colleenm18[/QUOTE]

    Definitely this!!  Let your FI handle it regardless of your relationship with either of them.  FI needs to deligate things..You & FI need to be on the same terms before you meet with them, that way he knows what your feelings are about the situation...

    FI handles his parents, I handle mine =)  Good luck!
    Planning Bio with For Sale!! White Knot
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  • MadisonpennyMadisonpenny member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary
    Well my only advice would be to breathe.  Since you and FFIL have discussed it already and have a great relationship at east you'll not only have FI in your corner, you'll also have FFIL.
    Try not to worry about it too much, I'm sure everything will be fine, especially since your meeting in a public spot.  If FMIL if one to have outbursts, she's less likely to do it in public.
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  • janeneojaneneo member
    10 Comments
    This may sound stupid, and it's certainly not critical, but if it were me I'd make an effort to sit next to my FMIL. This way she's not having to sit next to FFIL, and your doing a small gesture to foster the relationship that could still use some work. It'll start the tone of the meeting on a positive note. (sounds like your FFIL has an easier personality.) Bright side you won't be looking straight on.... :) The advice to stay out of it is priceless. Be moral support for FI, but I always look at it like its easier to forgive your child than your son/daughter in-law. If I need to go the bat for my FI, than I keep him out of it. My Mom will always forgive me, but it'd be easier for her to hold a grudge on my FI. Let your FI do that for you too.
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  • ElinetrouwtElinetrouwt member
    500 Comments
    Too late for advice, but how did it go?
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  • YuMMMy721YuMMMy721 member
    100 Comments
    It actually went better then expected. FFIL was very nervous and antsy and fidgety (not something i've ever seen before) and FMIL was totally clueless about everything and thinking we were all just getting together for a chat about her other kids. When we finally got talking about rehersal dinner things went ok. FFIL had done some research and brought some ideas, FMIL was like oh I'm supposed to help with this. But all in all it went ok. Lasted about 2 hours, and left with them saying they had everything they needed from us and would handle it and contact us with there final choice before booking. So I probably panicked about nothing, as it seemed to go ok! Defintely glad thats done and off the list!

    image 183 Invited image 101 Are ready to party!! image 82 Are missing out image 0 Are Driving me Crazy!! The new Mrs. McIver!! :)
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