Dad's attire

Re: Dad's attire

• Meghana55 member

  

  July 2009 edited December 2011

  It doesn't get that hot.  The fire was pretty small, and our priest used coconut instead of wood so there was also no smoke.  I was wearing a fairly heavy sari and I was fine up there.  Maybe talk to your priest and ask how big the fire gets?  Could your dad just wear the shirt and tie part and not wear the suit jacket?

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• AmyS627

  

  July 2009 edited December 2011

  My FI was very worried about me catching on fire because I wore a white American gown. I was totally fine. Everyone just backed their chairs up when I had to circle the fire. Are they worried about your dad smelling like the smoke? We used smokeless fire wood (from Home Depot). There was very little smoke. My dad wore a suit, and my mom wore a traditional American mother-of-the bride dress. Everything worked out fine. The only difference was, we did a combined Hindu/American ceremony so there was no need/time for changing. We didn't have anyone sit on the floor though, everyone sat in chairs. I'm not sure if this is done differently around India.

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• sistergh

  

  July 2009 edited December 2011

  Well, a follow up.  I talked to my parents this morning and apparently my dad really wants to wear the same thing as fi's dad and is excited about getting a kurta for the Hindu part.  So now I need to try to find something for him to wear.  But I like this way better - it really makes it seem more like a coming together of families for some reason.  I do feel like my wedding is turning into a fashion show, though - I'll probably have 3 outfits and now my bms and parents will change, too.    I thought until yesterday that we were sitting in chairs and only the priest would be on the floor, but apparently this is a big deal to fi and his family.  My dad's been having some back issues, so we may be able to seat them for part of the ceremony, but I'm not sure.  Thanks for the info on the smokeless fire!  I will have to mention this to the priest.  We're doing our ceremony outside (hopefully), but I'm worried about smoke alarms if we have to move inside.  

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• katie978 member

  

  July 2009 edited December 2011

  I wouldn't think the suit would be too much warmer than your FI's sherwani (assuming he's wearing a sherwani or some other kind of jacket).  But thanks for raising this issue, I've been wondering how to handle what my dad wears too.  I'm hoping he'll wear a kurta but we'll see.Is your Mom wearing a sari?Other non-SA ladies, what are your parents doing or have they done?I want my family to be Indian clothes but also want them to be comfortable... not sure if that's possible?Sistergh - I definitely think your dad should just wear a suit if he wants to and you want him to!  Is the wedding outside somewhere really hot?  And as you were thinking, I'd probably just have him change.  My Dad and FI's Dad are both changing after the ceremony when we will change. 

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• sistergh

  

  July 2009 edited December 2011

  I think my mom would like to wear Indian clothes, especially since my dad now wants to.  She's tall, though, and is really uncomfortable with the idea of her stomach/back potentially being exposed in a sari, so we may just try to find her a really fancy salwar-type outfit for the Indian ceremony.  Or just have the blouse made really long.  (We don't have much time, though.)

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• katie978 member

  

  July 2009 edited December 2011

  I'm 5'11" & my mom's 5'9" so believe me, we understand!   I'm having the blouse for my mom's sari made long enough to cover her stomach.  I just had her measure from the top of her shoulder down to her waist rather than to the bottom of her ribs.Also re your prior question, if your dad wants to wear something more formal than a kurta, take a look at plainer sherwanis.  We've seen quite a few at stores in the DC area that are a flat color with minimal embroidery.  Then he could have that "suit" feel while still being in Indian clothes, and not upstaging your groom.

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• sistergh

  

  July 2009 edited December 2011

  Fi's actually just wearing a kurta for the Hindu portion, too.  His dad's also wearing a kurta.  So my dad would be upstaging them in a sherwani, I think.  Somehow I don't mind that the kurta is less formal because it's ethnic and different for me.  Plus with the embroidery, they just look nice.  I'd be annoyed if American guys showed up in just shirts with no jacket or ties, though.  We looked at sherwanis for fi, but it seemed to be a LOT of money for something he wouldn't wear again and since he's a grad student and doesn't own a suit, it seemed like a suit was the better investment for the Christian ceremony/reception.  And he wanted to wear a kurta for the Hindu ceremony even if he'd gotten a sherwani for the baraat/reception/etc., I guess because of the fire.  So that's where we are.     

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• dublintomadras

  

  July 2009 edited December 2011

  Sister, my husband wore a kurta, too.  We had the same thoughts as you -- no use spending $ on a sherwani when he's probably not even going to wear the kurta again.  (Also his dad and some of his uncles got married in western suits!)  The kurta we got was beaded, though, so it was on the fancier side. 

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• wdc*bride

  

  July 2009 edited December 2011

  sister - if your mom will be sitting on the floor, i'd definitely spend some time researching salwar options.  my mom was so excited to wear a sari (to my bridal shower) until she started thinking about the details, and now i think she's scared to death.  if she had to wear it to sit on the floor in front of hundreds of people, she'd definitely chicken out.  and i think my mom, like many women of that certain age, kind of like an excuse to wear long shirts and "palazzo pants" (as my mom always calls them).

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