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Been MIA for a long while but need SA Knotties Again! Long Post, sorry!

loreno31loreno31
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in Texas-San Antonio
Ok, well my wedding is officially getting closer and it is freaking me out.  I left the knot for several months because I could not stand the girls on this site (of course none of the SA knotties). Well now that the wedding is getting closer, I need guidance and support again.  So many things going on right now, I am defending my thesis in a month, going to SA for the last time before the wedding in a week, moving from baton rouge to michigan the day after my defense, and then getting married in october.  what am i thinking?!?!I am insanely busy right now but for some reason I am really calm and not stressed for the most part.  BUT when my damn parents, bridal party, and FMIL call and ask me 85 questions about moving, the wedding, graduating, and buying a new car I feel like i am going to have a nervous breakdown.  I lost it the other night and screamed at my mom after she asked me about 10 questions in a row. Do any of yall feel more stressed when other people remind you to do something or ask you about the wedding?  I just feel like I already have tons of plans in my head and I really dont want to have to explain it to everyone in my family.  why do wedding require so many questions!?!  i need some reassurance that i am not the only one dealing with this.
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Re: Been MIA for a long while but need SA Knotties Again! Long Post, sorry!

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    linzlarslinzlars
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    As the other girls said, welcome back! I know what you mean about those girls on other boards. I just try to stick to here and my month board to avoid those nasty girls found elsewhere. Stress is definitely a normal response to something as big as this. And I can definitely see how constant reminders and questions from family and friends could make it worse. I'm guessing though that the only reason they're asking questions is because they're super excited about your wedding and care about what else is going on in your life. IMO, that's much better than having no one caring about it. I actually love Tallon's idea about a FAQ, haha. That'd be super cute. If that's too much work though, maybe you could try just keeping those people updated. Do you feel like you avoid bringing up any details about the wedding? Maybe they feel like you're not including them and just want to be a part of it.  Maybe if you were the one who initiated a conversation about some new update they would feel more satisfied and not ask a million questions. The other option, since you're dealing with a lot of other things too, is to let them help you out. Maybe ask if some of them could help you find a florist, or a DJ, or ideas for decorations, or whatever you have left. That way you get a break and they feel more involved.I'm sorry I can't be of more help but I hope everything keeps going well for you. And keep in mind that these people just care about you and are excited about your wedding and the other big things in your life. Good luck!
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    loreno31loreno31
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    thanks girls! i feel better now.  i definitely agree that everyone is excited for us and wants to feel included so I think I am going to do an update email for our family so they know whats going on.  we are going to michigan this weekend to find a new house before we move so i definitely will have to keep them informed. thanks again!
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    sarahhhhhhsarahhhhhh
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I totally understand. Right now I'm gonna start my last semester in school, he's trying to find a teaching job and finish grad school, plus we have a dog and a cat that are so damn high maintenance that they might as well be kids. We're moving too but in August! So I definately feel your pain. My SOLUTION? Don't answer your phone. Keep track of who's calling you for stupid stuff or irks you the most and don't answer. Call back when you don't have anything going on. I do that with my parents sometimes. Also. Start writing lists. It'll keep all your thoughts in one place that you can refer back to later.
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    cikellercikeller
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I defended two months before the wedding, and graduated a week before the wedding. Between the two, I went crazy on multiple occassions, but they helped balance each other out.I got so sick of the questions that a few of the vendors became designated as- deal with my mom, deal with his mom, deal with him. Like one posted said above, turn off the phone.Other people bugging me just made it worse, because it felt like they didn't trust me to take care of things. I wanted to scream, I guarantee a thesis is harder than planning a wedding, so if I can do one please trust me to do the other- but I would only be screaming at the people I love most and then having to clean up afterwards.You are not the only one. Take a day or two and think about only those things which affect life after the wedding. Work on those, get some perspective back, and then drink a mojito whilst tying ribbon on bubbles or something equally mentally straining..:o)
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