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Vent: Best Man

My first vent- hope its not too long... So FI's best man has been acting super weird the last few weeks. He will not return FI's calls, but still sends him jokey emails, then when FI tries to ask him anything about the wedding he just wont respond. Our RSVP date was last friday and he never sent back his card. It has been like pulling teeth trying to get his dates name! Come to find out he bringing a girl named "stacey" whom he has never even been on a date with before. (Which is fine- but I just think a wedding is not a good first date especially since he will be busy with pictures, etc). I really don't care I just need her last name! I ask him for Stacey last name and get no response. I need to send the names to the printers for the place cards soon. We also sent an invite to his parents (whom we don't know that well but wanted to invite) and he wont tell us if they are coming either! He even acted a little "upset" that I was asking for the dates name. Also, he told FI he was going to put together a bachelor party and he picked the date. It's about two weeks away and none of the other groomsmen have heard anything and FI can't even tell if it is still on. FI has been trying to get a hold of him and say if its money or something he is worried about the guys can just come to our place and chill and have drinks- very low key. He just refuses to call back or email when regards to the wedding. He used to be really into it (as much as a best man can be) and now its just so weird! We have no idea what is going on! There was no fight or anything.

Re: Vent: Best Man

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    I think it's just a guy thing. I don't think it really has anything to do with you or your fiance.
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    It's just weird because he was always so quick to respond to call/emails from both of us and now he wont at all! We just wonder what happened, ya know?
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    Do you think he actually really knows Stacey's last name? Can you call his mom/dad directly about their RSVP?
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    Is it possible that Stacey is someone from your, your FI's or the BM's past?  It sounds weird.
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    haha, I don't think we know any Stacey's but that could be a new twist to the story! :) I didn't contact his parents yet b/c I don't really know them, FI does and he is away studying for the bar exam so I am trying to get as many RSVP calls done as I can. I thought I could just ask Best Man, but he just wont tell me yes or no! Its just frustrating really.
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    Maybe he's feeling a lot of pressure to find a date to the wedding and perhaps he's sulking just a bit b/c he's not the one getting married?  I dunno; I know that's probably more of a female reaction but you never know.If I were you, I don't think I'd put her name on the card.  If something changes and he brings a different girl, she's gonna be stuck being "Stacey" on paper and know she was second choice (if he didn't already tell her).  I think I'd stick with "guest of John" or something like that.
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
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    I agree with Mrs. B, I wouldn't put her name on there either.  Plus, if this is their "first date", there is a good chance she could back out by then.  He may bring a different girl and she won't want a place card with another name on it!
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    My fiance had the same issue with one of his groomsman. it was like pulling teeth to get him to do anything. then he through a hissy fit when my future BIL chose the place they where going to have my fiance bach party. he didnt go because he didnt like it. he had done the same thing not sending his RSVP back- so my fiance called and called and called, finally i emailed him asking if he was bringing a date because i needed to confirm the number of people, and he decided to email me back saying he couldnt afford to stand up. I was furious for one because he had seen both of us the week prior and totally avoided us. i have a feeling he wasn't even planning on telling us! i dont understand how people are so clueless on the planning that goes into a wedding. We had already gotten his gift, his flower, he even went and got fitted for his TUX! i couldnt even believe it. I had two bridemaids drop out but least they did it before they ordered the dress. I hope he doesnt drop out on you guys! but i feel your pain! its fusterating, and of course i wanted my fiance to call this guy and reem him a new one but he wouldnt. he just left it alone
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    I'm sorry you are dealing with this.  But I agree with aszala.  I don't think he's going to come through.  Your FI needs to have a sit down w/him since he's not answering emails/phone calls.  This is one of the most important days of your lives and even though groomsmen don't get into things like bridesmaids do - he accepted the responsibility.  At least he he's not a mysogynistic jerk who told your FI that he shouldn't get married.
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