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Gift for Shower I can't attend

kessiebluekessieblue member
First Comment
in Pre-wedding Parties
Hi!

Just a quick question... I can't remember... if you decline a shower invitation are you still supposed to send a gift for the shower, or should I just send the wedding gift later?

TIA!
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Re: Gift for Shower I can't attend

  • jessicabessicajessicabessica member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    You don't have to send a gift. 

    I think it's nice to send something, though, even if it's a nice card (or a thinking of you email), to let the bride know that you would have liked to have been there.  I typically send a small gift if I can't attend a shower, although I wouldn't if I thought an invite was really just gift grabby (hasn't happened yet). 
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  • hlq2011hlq2011
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You never have to send a gift, and many of my shower guests didn't, though some did.

    About a week after my shower, I got one card that apologized "for the late response to the shower summons."  Made me laugh, and I appreciated her thoughtfulness with sending a gift, but it totally wasn't necessary.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    If it's a close friend or I'm in the wedding and I can't make it, I send a gift.  If I'm not as close, I typically don't send one. 
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  • kessiebluekessieblue member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks! 
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  • mandi921vhmandi921vh member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    PPs said it right!
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  • butterflyroy78butterflyroy78
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I was raised that you send a gift, but it is not necessary.
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  • ADTonkADTonk
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    If you feel inclined to get the couple a gift, then get them one.  You can either give it to the host of the shower to hold until the shower or bring it to the wedding. 

    My rule of thumb is if I am attending the wedding, I get them a shower gift even if I can't make it to the shower. 
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