Donation in lieu of gift?

I <3 Seabass · July 2009

How would you feel if your guests made a donation instead of giving you a wedding gift?

aquagurl612 · July 2009

WEIRD

Karma01 · July 2009

A few of my friends did it and it was fine. One of the brides lost her dad to cancer so they donated money to different cancer causes and gave out different colored bracelets to match the cause.

Karma01 · July 2009

Nevermind my post, I totally read your post wrong.

mbcdefg · July 2009

Hahaha, interesting spin on the last donations post :PI can't say I'd be jumping up and down, but I think it's a nice thought.

30may09bride · July 2009

Wouldn't be a fan. For same reasons why I wouldn't try to pass off a donation in lieu of a favor. Let people donate to their own causes.

cvl105 · July 2009

You mean, if YOU came to MY wedding and gave a donation instead of a gift right? I'm not sure how I'd feel. If it was only one person or a few people, it wouldn't bother me...but I guess I'd probaby be disappointed if everyone did it. Sounds terrible, but I'm being honest.

caketime · July 2009

While I should say it wouldn't bother me at all, it would.

DiorAndKisses · July 2009

I read this wrong originally too...but now I get it. If you registered with a charity for your shower, which I think you can do...I'd be happy to have my favorite non-profit receive a donation in honor of my wedding. But if you didn't specify wanting something like that...I'd think it's a little odd.

brad1431 · July 2009

it depends on who does it and why. If one of my grandmother's brothers or sisters or my aunt donated to ACS that would be nice, or if FI aunt dontated to breast cancer in memory of FI mom, that would be nice. But if someone does it with no special connection, I would think it was odd

jen629 · July 2009

Chelsea i dont think it sounds bad to say that I would only be being honest if I said it would bother me

uppereastgirl · July 2009

I'd be happy, as long as it was a charity I supported. I usually ask for donations to charities as a Christmas or birthday gift, so I don't see how this is different from those really?

uppereastgirl · July 2009

Follow-up to Brad's comment about it being in memory of or in honor of or what have you--For those who think the decision regarding which charity requires some thoughtfulness, why? (this is I guess for those who typically give cash as a wedding gift, which does not require thought or customization)

kpeteley · July 2009

It would bother me - It's one thing to give as a favor - favor's can be useless and a donation is a good way to spend money that is kind of wasted otherwise. But to give someone as a gift for their wedding - I am guessing it would be on a cause the gift giver cared about. . . which doesn't relate to the couple. You could then take their dinner away and give it to a homeless person

kdimartino98 · July 2009

ehhh - probably wouldn't appreciate it.

kpeteley · July 2009

uppereast - it would seem ok if that were the case - if the couple usually requested a donation as a gift, but the key is that you asked for it-

mbcdefg · July 2009

For those who think the decision regarding which charity requires some thoughtfulness, why? I think I'd be fine with it if the donation was made to a charity that the guest knew FI and/or I especially believed in ... American Cancer Society, an animal shelter, our old high schools, etc. I think it's selfish, though, if the guest makes a donation to something that THEY believe in and tries to pass it off as a gift**. Like, if a Harvard alum made a donation to Harvard and said to was my wedding gift. I have absolutely no connection to Harvard and plus it's not like Harvard desperately needs the money (whereas I don't have a connection to something like Cystic Fybrosis Foundation either, but at least that money's going somewhere where it's needed, KWIM?). ** Which is why I'm not personally keen on donations as wedding favors in the first place.

Jaytee501 · July 2009

"I think I'd be fine with it if the donation was made to a charity that the guest knew FI and/or I especially believed in ... American Cancer Society, an animal shelter, our old high schools, etc."Ditto mbcd. If the donation were made by someone who knew me and/or MH well, I'd personally be touched...but I understand some others wouldn't appreciate it.

soontobemrsdavis · July 2009

if they donated to my moms scholarship fund i would be honored. Any other donation i may have felt a little weird

justkris10 · July 2009

I'd have to say I wouldn't be happy and that's my honest opinion - I support the charities that I choose to support on an annual basis, its a weird decision for a guest to make IMO

mrs.spunky1508 · July 2009

I support the charities that I choose to support on an annual basis, its a weird decision for a guest to make IMO. I agree with that. Also, some people wouldn't know our decisions to NOT support certain organizations/charities and why. That said, a friend of DH's - who didn't attend our wedding - donated "in our name" to Greenpeace. We got a card like 8 months later - from Greenpeace, not even the friend - and we both were like WTF?!

kewltif · July 2009

I'm a greedy mofo- you can probably guess my response!

kewltif · July 2009

In the thank you card I'd tell the guest, "Next time you come to my house instead of giving you dinner I'm going to donate your food to charity."

mredynz · July 2009

If it's a charity that I knew and was actively involved I would be fine with it.

brad1431 · July 2009

yeah and there are some charities that I dont support for a reason too, forgot about that, I dont like the ones that take a huge cut of the money. I think the Red cross is like 40% of the money goes for administration.

Partymixx27 · July 2009

I'd be a little like, "...wha?" but I'd be OK with it, if the person donated in our name to something I feel strongly about. Of course I'd rather have the cash, but if one guest did this I could deal with that. It isn't the guest's place IMO to basically give your gift to charity, but a guest isn't 100% obligated to get you anything either.

alliecarrie41 · July 2009

i had one of these. i was kinda like uh, what?.... but then figured that was pretty selfish to think so i just tried to let it go. not something i'd ever consider.

Donation in lieu of gift?

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