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Same dress dilema

kkpantzlaffkkpantzlaff
10 Comments
in Attire & Accessories Forum
First, I found the dress of my dreams.  My mom and I went shopping, and after trying on a bunch, I found this one.  My mom, 2 sisters in law, sister, and cousin agree.  So I buy it, am very excited that I got it on clearance, and am thrilled to not have to worry about this anymore...Until 2 days later, when I discover that it is the SAME DRESS that my cousin's wife wore when they got married last August.  I wasn't at the wedding (I live in CA, most of my family and that wedding was in WI)  All 6 people who helped me shop were at the wedding, but not a single one remembered.  I feel like the nice thing to do is to try to sell the dress and keep shopping, but I really don't want to.  On the other hand, if they couldn't remember...What do you think?
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Re: Same dress dilema

  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    The dress isn't exclusively hers. Stop worrying about it and wear it if you like it. If the cousin's wife gets hissy over it, she needs to get the hell over herself. Because (a) there's really no way you could've known that that was her dress and it's pretty obvious you weren't out to copy her, and (b) unless the dress was custom-made, she needs to accept that there are probably thousands of other brides out there who have worn/will wear the same thing. She wasn't the first and you will not be the last to wear it.
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  • jagore08jagore08 member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Yeah, I wouldn't worry about it. Keep your dress and don't think another thought about your cousins wife. It's your dress and I'm sure the two of you look completely different in it. Enjoy your purchase!
    Ignorance is a poor defense. Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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  • duckie1905duckie1905 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    It doesn't matter.  She doesn't have exclusivity rights to the dress and I seriously doubt that anyone would remember or care.To be honest, if I was at a wedding in which the bride was wearing the same dress as I did when I got married I'm not sure I would even notice.
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  • dsouldivadsouldiva
    500 Comments
    I really wouldn't worry about it, you will bring your own unique style to it, with your choice of accessories and hair style.If all 6 people with you didn't remember I'm sure no-one else will either.  I can't imagine your cousin's wife being upset by you wearing this dress, it's not like you wore it to her wedding!
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  • amr8580amr8580
    100 Comments
    I went to 4 weddings last year & 3 of the brides wore the SAME Casablanca dress. I think I may have been the only one to notice as I've been looking at so many dresses lately. Honestly, they really looked different on each bride as they were different shapes so I don't think you should worry so much.
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  • Married678Married678 member
    100 Comments
    I came really close to buying a dress from David's. A couple months after my wedding, my best friend's sister wore that same dress that I almost bought from David's in her wedding. She looked stuning in it, but I would have understood if I had worn that dress a couple of months previous. If your dress is from one of the big manufacturs it's something you take a chance happening. If it's not, I would probably pretend I didn't even notice and forget about it b/c you weren't there and no one told you that when you were showing them etc! You didn't do it on purpose! GL! I'm sure you'll look amazing! :)
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  • nilaniluvnilaniluv
    100 Comments
    yeah i wouldn't worry about it either, honestly if it was last August I wouldn't remember what it looked like at all. Unless there is a distinct difference to this dress than others then most people won't notice either. If all 4 people in your family didn't remember then thats a sign the rest won't either. Also remember when paired with a veil and your flowers its going to have a completely different look and feel. If it still really bothers you, I've seen some girls alter the neck line to make it look slightly different like turn it into a sweetheart neckline, add some more beading or lace or even turn it into a halter some add cap sleeves. Another option is to add a pretty flower rosette near the hip or a colored sash at the waste. But I wouldn't worry about it too much, if it is your dream dress then keep it! but if you know that its going to be in the back of your mind with her reaction on the big day then either try to find another one or change something up!
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  • alliecarrie41alliecarrie41 member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    idk, i know it's not her dress or anything, and like you said, no one even remembered and you wren't even at the wedding... but if it was me, i'd keep looking.  i'd want something more unique, even if a million girls in the world wore it already, knowing one of my wedding guests wore it is just different to me.  there are so many gowns out there.
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  • junelleyjunelley
    500 Comments
    It sound like you do like the dress a lot and the reason you would even think about selling the dress is because of how your cousin's wife feel and/or people might remember the dress.  If that is the reason, I wouldn't sell it!  Like what the other posters said, your cousin's wife doesn't own the exclusive right to the dress, and that people most likely will not remember that it's the same dress.  Everyone wears the wedding gown differently, so it's not like you'll be exactly alike - so I wouldn't worry about that part.The only reason I would want to get another dress if I felt that I wanted a unique/different dress that at least no one I know have worn already.  If you don't feel that way and still love the dress that much, I'd suggest that you keep and wear the dress of your dreams!
    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • Googs79Googs79
    100 Comments
    As the pp said, no one has ownership over a particular dress.  Her day has passed and your wedding is your special day.  You know why people didn't remember her dress?  Because in the end, people notice the overall stunning beauty of the bride.  You are unique, and therefore you will wear that dress in your own special way that makes you beautiful.  I assure you, plenty other people have worn that dress before you but, none of them have worn it just like you will.
    Dr. Googs is married to Mr. Pelvis. Happily ever after!
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  • mc108mc108
    500 Comments
    A friend of mine is getting married next summer (I'm getting married in a couple months) and she fell in love with my dress. I told her to just get it, it's her day who am I to tell her she can't have the dress of her dreams!?! I can't imagine being at a wedding and thinking "Oh my goodness she's wearing Suzy's dress from last year!" Unless you plan on duplicating her entire wedding, I doubt anyone would notice or care. :)
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  • a2cranea2crane member
    100 Comments
    I also agree that you shouldn't think about getting another dress. I think that I would feel flattered if I went to a wedding and the bride was wearing my dress. Of course you are going to look much different in the dress than she did and no one will notice (esp if all of the people that helped you pick out the dress didn't). And, it's your cousin's wife, not like your best friend or sister. Plus, the wedding was across the country which is even more reason not to worry about it. I think that it is all good :) Good luck!
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  • Dom&JoeDom&Joe member
    10 Comments
    Wear it. No one but we wedding obsessed brides care that it is the same dress, and to most people they all look pretty similar.One of my good friends was married on my date (Nov 15) last year and I am pretty sure I knew her dress but never even asked.
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  • MellyOAnnMellyOAnn member
    10 Comments
    Honestly, I think if I went to a wedding where another bride chose the same dress that I did, I'd be flattered. Great minds think alike and all! If it's "the one" don't fight it, and if anyone else has a problem they can get over themselves.
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  • melissa82melissa82 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    She is honestly the only one who will notice. I'd probably e-mail her and be like "You won't believe it but I just found out I picked out the same exact dress as yours! Great taste!" or something like that, just to get it out there. I highly doubt she is going to be like "Return it this instant!!"
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  • katiek200katiek200 member
    100 Comments
    Its not like prom- you both wont be wearing the dress at the same event!! Keep your dress, don't stress, this probably happens a lot more often that we realize!
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  • kristypacellikristypacelli
    10 Comments
    Wear it! Your hair, body type, shoes, etc will all be different.  Bravo for find a clearance dress!
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  • cazzysmithcazzysmith member
    100 Comments
    it's a year later, who would notice besides her?  I'm sure she could get over it.  It's your DREAM dress - rock it!
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  • jalaworldjalaworld
    10 Comments
    Stop worrying!!!! No one would notice or care! Rock your dress!
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  • militigermilitiger member
    First Comment
    the only reason to consider selling the dress would be, if you and you cousins wife are the same size - then you could just use her dress.i've heard of people doing that, borrowing friends dresses.  My cousin offered me her dress
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  • mizu22mizu22 member
    10 Comments
    if you like it wear it. seems like nobody remembers anyway.
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  • buttrfly168buttrfly168 member
    10 Comments
    I would keep it. It's not like you purposefully went out to get her dress. Plus, dresses look different on different people.
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  • 5tigger5tigger
    First Comment
    Wear the dress!!
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