October 2012 Weddings

Hallelujah ... FMIL has a change of heart

If any of you remember my post from a few days ago about the letter FMIL wrote to FI about why she thought we should postpone the wedding, you'll be pleased to hear this. FI had a long chat with her about the inappropriateness of her letter and how it made us feel and she relented and apologized.

Then amazingly, she went into worker-bee mode as her way of making it up to us and making sure that we still have a great event. She called today to say she'd talked to a friend who does cakes as a side business and her friend offered to give us our cake! Considering I was planning on buying a store-bought, undecorated cake and decorate it myself, I'm pretty well in shock right now. I'm supposed to discuss tomorrow with her about what I was wanting. Even if it's not perfectly my dream cake, I'm still really happy. And it's one less thing for me to worry about that weekend.

She also asked if we had flowers and several other things taken care of because she was going to talk to some more friends tomorrow to see what they could do. The only thing we don't have covered is my hair, but she's a retired hairdresser and she's going to talk to a former coworker about doing it for me. She'd certainly do it if she could but she's lost most of her sight and isn't comfortable trying to get something "picture perfect" that she can't really see.

Let's just say that the turning of the tides has been a big load off my shoulders!!
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Re: Hallelujah ... FMIL has a change of heart

  • That's wonderful news! I'm so glad that she sees what a happy occasion this is, rather than worrying about why the wedding shouldn't happen. Hopefully, from here on out, it is smooth sailing for you!
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  • That's great! I'm glad your FMIL is coming around and warming up to the idea of your wedding. 
  • Awesome! I'm so glad it's working out for you.
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  • Yay.  That is great to hear that she has seen the error of her ways and has turned her attitude around.  You must be breathing a little easier now.
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  • That really is great news! It's nice that she came around. :)

    I just read an article on how parents of the bride and groom can act differently because of the change in the dynamic of the relationships after the wedding. As in the son is now a husband to a wife and his duties as a son are secondary, same with the daughter becoming a wife. Sounds pretty simple but if you really think into it, its huge! The article said that, to the parents, it can feel as though they are 'losing' a child b/c he or she is not first and foremost dedicated to the new family unit, not that is was a bad thing; just a huge change. It said that parents can either be overwhelmingly involved and pushy or very distant during the process because of their fears, worries and concerns even if they really care for the soon-to-be daughter/son-in law. It was really interesting.
  • I am so glad that FI was able to talk with her. It sounds like they have a good relationship, and I am thrilled that she has made you feel so relieved! I hope this is the beginning of a great relationship for all of you in your newer roles

    ~~Mendi~~ ...Everyone has their price; mine's chocolate Photobucket
  • jlk13 - YES!  I can completely relate to this....FI and I have been together for 4 years and this all happened in the first 2 years of our relationship....all the sudden, our parents were mad at us, thinking that the relationship was bad.....later after dust had settled, we learned from each of our families at different times, that, the whole issue was the fact the FI and I were not around like we used to be...prior to our relationship, we were both single and spent a LOT of time with our families.....and when we found someone we were just crazy about, we stopped being available at our families beck and call......this was HUGE to them..and we just didn't see it or recognize it for some time...after we did, we made more time for our families and things got better...today things are great....but it was a long road and big blow up to get everyones feeling out there so we could all move on.
    VIOLACAT03 - CONGRATS on getting to this point....AND before the wedding!!!  Good Stuff...I'm happy for you and your FI.....
    Jessica Wedding Countdown Ticker 120 Invitedimage
    101 Are ready to party image
    18 Can't make it image
    1 Are keeping me on the edge of my seat wondering image
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