Am I being ridiculous? Say yes.

thesuninherhead · July 2009

I am rather upset/frustrated/stressed out... over our invitations. My FI is designing them. He's very into art, and thus from the outset really wanted to design and organise the invites. I tried to encourage him to do his design work before we went away to the US last month, but he only worked on them a couple of days as he needed to be 'in the right mood' to get his artwork for them done... which I do understand. Anyway, fast forward to us getting back three weeks ago, with 2 months until the wedding. He was focused on doing the design, and because he didn't want to think about too many things at once or rush his creative process, he focused on this for another two weeks. In the end, I ordered the paper myself because it was clear that we'd be waiting forever if I waited until he was 'happy' with the design first. I should add, the design is really super adorable, and I'm not at all unhappy with his work. Finally, I convinced him they were fine and didn't need more design tweaking, and he went to print them only to find our printer couldn't deal with the card stock. Long story and lots of other alternatives explored short, we're now sitting on 6 weeks out, two weeks until our RSVP deadline, and the invites still haven't gone out, with the envelopes still not printed. It's Friday thus there's no way of arranging for this to happen before Monday, and I've suggested that FI paint each one by hand if he can't figure out a way to get them printed- which I know is ridiculous and will take forever, but I am just so stressed about them going out so late that I'm not thinking straight. I'm worried that this will reflect really poorly on us and seem as though we're blase towards the whole thing- most of our friends and my family know the date, but his interstate extended family do not, and I hate to think what they'll think about us sending them an invite with one week until the RSVP deadline, for a wedding on in just over a month's time. I don't know what's stressing me more- that the invites aren't ready and out yet, or that I'm stressed about invites in the first place. Please tell me to get over it.(Sorry, dd and reposted to add paragraphs that disappeared the first time around).

thesuninherhead · July 2009

Cliff notes: FI wanted to do invites. 6 weeks out, and still no invites sent. Have I turned into a crazy for being upset over the lack of paper?

lauralaur · July 2009

IT'S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD! Seriously though, I'd be pretty stressed about it too if I was in that situation. You'll get it all figured out though, you'll get them in the mail. It will all be fine in the end.

shellydiane820 · July 2009

I'm sorry to say...I'd be freaking out too.I'm no help

ggmae · July 2009

No, you aren't crazy. Invites should be sent 6-8 weeks beforehand, so he's running out of time to do them. Unless he is great under pressure or is a miracle worker, I'd start looking into other options. I did DIY Target invites. I assume your Targets would have them as well. If you had sent STDs (or if everyone knew of the date) then I would say don't stress so much, but I'd be pissed since there are family members that don't know.

ggmae · July 2009

Oh, and I'm not saying you should have sent STDs. Just that because some people don't know of the date, it's important to get the invites out ASAP! Or maybe make phone calls to those family members?

Soon-to-be Mrs. Vogt · July 2009

Don't freak out because there's nothing you can do about it now. I think you should have a firm date in mind that they need to go out, even if that means that FI has to hand paint them or not print them the way that he wants to.Your guests do need a little bit of notice if they will make the trip :)Can you push your RSVP date back a little bit, or is that already printed?

kdcwedding · July 2009

Have you looked into a local printer or copy shop? That's where you should start.Take a deep breath, you'll make it work. Can you push the RSVP date a few days to give you some breathing room?Have a glass of wine, it will seem less of an issue afterwards!

banana468 · July 2009

I wouldn't freak but I would say, "We need these sent....by Monday."

ggmae · July 2009

I second the wine. And kittens. Go pet your cats and you'll feel all better.

thesuninherhead · July 2009

We didn't do STDs because he was sure that he'd have them out at 3 months... that was the initial plan. And he keeps reassuring me that if these people don't know the date, they're not that close to us and we shouldn't worry if they can't come- but they're his aunts and uncles who I haven't met, and I know his mother is worried about if they will be able to make it on such little notice- I would feel really bad for her if only one of her siblings (who is coming with his wife, our celebrant) could make it because we didn't get the information out earlier.The worst part is that he does feel really bad about it. I think part of the reason he spent so long on them initially was because he wanted them to be perfect. Worst case, we will send them out in plain envelopes this weekend, and they will make it to our guests with a week and a half to rsvp... which isn't a great scenario, but yeah... I feel bad in getting stressed/upset about this because I know he is also worried about it and I do think he's done a great job- just far too slowly!

brookelynpaisley · July 2009

Weren't we supposed to say she IS being ridiculous? I'm going to have to agree with everyone else though and say I'd be freaked out too. Take a deep breath - they'll get out soon. Hopefully everyone knows your date and the invite itself will come as no surprise. It will be okay!!

julezlee · July 2009

Like everyone else, I would be freaking out just like you. Is there way you can get them printed somewhere else? Or at least get some DIY invites and send them to the interstate family members right away and the people you are less worried about could get the FI designed invites next week.

julezlee · July 2009

Also, is there any way you can extend the RSVP date or do you have to have numbers for your caterers by that date?

ThePinkSuperhero · July 2009

You're not being ridiculous, and you do need to send your invites ASAP! Invite some friends over and get those suckers printed and stamped and out the door!

thesuninherhead · July 2009

The rsvp date cards have been printed, and that was after some drama, so we can't really change it. Although, realistically, they don't have to be back then as I made the RSVP earlier than necessary for catering etc numbers. So I guess I will just hope that most people will get them back to us, but maybe not follow up until a week or so after the rsvp deadline so they have some extra time to respond/consider if they can make it. And I would love wine and kittens- sadly it's 10 in the morning and I'm at work! On the upside, it is Friday.Banana, that was what I said- last weekend. I had said that I wasn't going to stress, but that they HAD to go out this past monday. Worst case, I will shove them in envelopes, accepting the envelopes are not as pretty as I'd hoped, and send them myself this weekend. I feel ridiculous that I'm worried about this. I don't usually stress about anything- I'm not at all worried about the biopsy I have to get on the lump in my breast, but I'm throwing a tantrum about paper? I don't like what wedding planning is doing to me!

BrideBuddies · July 2009

No, you're not being ridiculous. He's using his need for creativity as an excuse for not doing the job to completion. While I'm all for creativity, he's missed his deadline by a long shot. You wouldn't put up with that for a paid vendor, would you?Stop stroking his artsy ego and tell him they have to be out in two days. Period. Make it happen.I don't stand for that crap in anyone... husbands included.

thesuninherhead · July 2009

bridebuddie, I don't think I'm being ridiculous for being concerned, but I do think that treating my fiance as a bad employee would probably do more harm than good in getting the invites out- and certainly, he would not treat me that way if the tables were turned. I don't think that would be a helpful or effective strategy.And djt (and others), you're right. No amount of stress is going to solve this, and we WILL get the invites finished tonight- I will make sure of it. I just need to accept that not everything will run to plan- there are going to be much bigger differences between reality and my vision of the wedding than the invitation envelopes, and I think I need to stress less and instead focus on getting on with it regardless of what comes up.

BrideBuddies · July 2009

No where did I say for you to treat him like a bad employee. BUT, if you were paying someone to do this job, would you be this patient and lenient and forgiving? No way. You would have been much more pro-active, right? Just because it's a project he's interested in doesn't mean he can just take his dear sweet time at this late date. Have you ever heard the phrase "Shitt or get off the pot?" Honey, it's time to flush!!!

sucrets4 · July 2009

Sorry to hear you're stressing. :(Is there some way you can bring the paper to a place to get printed? Do you guys have something like Staples down there?

thesuninherhead · July 2009

I will! Although I just realised that because I"m growing my eyebrows for waxing on Monday I am going to be totally gorilla like for the trial tomorrow- talk about poor planning! oh well- I guess the end result on the day will have to be better than the trial, haha.

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