Hey ladies - I am SO irritated with my parents right now. Maybe I just need some perspective, but it feels like they are being total buttholes.
Background - FI and I are paying for the wedding. My parents live 4 hours drive away from FI and I. The wedding is a DW of sorts, since all but one couple will have at least a 3-4 hour drive. My parents have not been involved in the planning, nor have they seemed particularly interested. I generally have a good relationship with my parents, so their non-involvement isn't because we have a rocky relationship, or something like that. They only have good things to say about FI, so it's not like they disapprove of him or our relationship either. I get bummed periodically because they don't show more interest in the wedding, but with everything going on, it's not something I can afford to wallow about, nor do I want to.
Last weekend I was talking to my dad and he told me that he and my mom would like to have a welcome reception on Friday night with appetizers and drinks. They're spending two weeks vacation 45 minutes away from the wedding site right now, so they have the ability to go do the legwork to find a suitable restaurant. I helped them with a few ideas, and they were going to go check a few places out on Tuesday. The week goes by and I get a call from my mom yesterday (Saturday), and she talks to me about everything but a) the wedding, and b) the restaurant-scouting trip. I ask how the restaurant-scouting trip went and heard some half stories from what she could remember about looking at restaurants 4 days prior, including that they went to check out the only place in town that my fiance and I have been saying we did not want to hold any events, and have been saying that for the past year, ie well before they offered to do the friday reception. Wrapped that conversation up and asked to talk to my dad. He rambled about how places either didn't have the capacity, or bizarrely that they would be excluding people that don't like beer if they had it at a beer and pizza place, or that other places were too expensive. And then he tells me that he doesn't think that a lot of their 'friends and colleagues' will be around on Friday night, so they're re-thinking the idea and probably won't be doing a Friday reception after all.
I was so livid that I gracefully ended the conversation and got off the phone. I doubt they realize how upset I am over this. In my mind, they were trying to throw a party for their friends on the coattails of Ed and my wedding. When they found out that not as many friends would be there, their interest wained, and they backed out on their offer. I'm fine if they want to have a party for their friends, but don't do it under the guise celebrating my wedding and then back out on the offer. Ed and I were also considering doing something for guests on Friday, and we probably still will now that my parents' plans are off. If they want to be involved, I would LOVE that, but as it is, they swooped in, then rapidly swooped out and cost me a week of planning time, where I thought that Ed and I wouldn't be hosting a Friday night soiree.
Thanks for hearing out my vent. I'm totally willing to hear some straight-talk if I'm being a bridezilla. I would love it if there were some other way to frame this whole ordeal that didn't leave me feeling so hurt and angry.