What do I do....Re: Registering....

Re: What do I do....Re: Registering....

• JSweetieXO

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  Sorry but if you end up having a shower....you are meant to get gifts to open which is the point of the shower. If they want to do something like that, let them. If you want, you can tell them to tell people you are requesting no presents but then it wouldn't be a shower. It would have to be called more like a luncheon or something. Not really sure since I have never seen anything like that before.

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• mocknine member

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  Hey Lee-  Have you thought about a honeymoon registry?  I know they can be taboo, I guess much like gift cards, but it is another route you can take since you have everything you have now.  You can ask your family and friends to help you and your FI make memories.  Honeymoon registries can differ in how they work.  My travel agent had a registry where people could just apply money towards your honeymoon and you wold receive a certificate letting you know.  However some others are set up where you can outline your trip into excursions,dinners, transportation, etc and let guests pick what part of your honeymoon they want to contribute towards.

  
  

  Hopefully this gives you another option!  Other than that... I'm no good!!

  

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• MYLOVE315 member

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  Hey Stephanie -
  Thanks for the idea ...I sent my travel agent a quick email to inquire about it.
  It's a good option and I like it :-)
  
  Thanks to both you and JSweetixo for the input...we'll see if a honeymoon registry will be an option and perhaps in additioin to that I might just have to bite the bullet and alsogo register for a few things.
  
  I guess at this point I can't change tradition. I'll just be very practical in what we register for. My sisters and bridal party really do want to have this shower for me and I don't want to make things difficult for anyone.
  
  Thanks again for your help.
  
  -Lee
  

  

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• altimat873 member

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  I am also registering for my honeymoon, I dont think its taboo - I think its an up to date registry. So many people are older and established before they get married, like myself - we own a house already, furnished etc. so we registered for our honeymoon and a few little things in case some people arent fond of that, on top of that, my sister is making my shower "themed" as cocktails so guests can bring bar/cocktail related items (bottles, glasses, wine rings/charms, coasters, mixers, etc.). My girlfriend did a cooking class for her shower and we had a blast and all gifts were food related. It is your time to be "showered" with gifts (I know I have done that for many many brides, so now its your turn), enjoy!

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• Jenni83

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  You can do something like a gift card tree.
  and on the invite they could put in lieu of gifts we are doing a gift card tree or something like that.

  

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• ssage member

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  Personally, I don't think you should be forced to register because you are getting a shower.  I don't understand why the creators of your shower cannot just say, when people ask, that you have everything you need so gift cards are welcome...and wouldn't some of your guests know that anyway?  And if someone wants to give you a group gift, why not a gift card to a spa?  you will appreciate that the week of your wedding!  Or, what is wrong with "no gifts"?  They could even just say to bring stuff for a wishing well type thing.
  
  All that being said, I also think the honeymoon registry is a great idea. 
  

  

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• psichick

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  i think my head just exploded. 

  
  

  these are terrible ideas. a honeymoon registry is rude. you don't ask people to pay for your sexfest. in fact, you don't ask people to pay for anything period. if you don't want gifts, don't register, but then don't have a shower. you can't be "showered with gifts" if you don't register. and you can't tell people what to get you and making the assumption that they are just going to fork over cash (or a gift card, same thing) is really freaking rude. 

  
  

  
  

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• Riss91 member

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  If you're having a shower people are expecting that they will show up with a gift. If you don't register, you're still going to get tons of nonsense that you don't want or need (heck, even if you do register, not everyone purchases from your list). You can't ask for people to just bring gift cards - it's really tacky. I'm also not a fan of honeymoon registries, but if you think your crowd wouldn't mind, then I guess that's another option for you.
  
  I'd suggest not having a "shower". The purpose of the shower was to provide the household necessities to a new couple because, traditionally, they didn't have a household set up yet. This isn't the case with you, so I don't see the need for you to have a "shower". Have your BMs send the invite for a "Ladies Luncheon" and have them explicitly denote that guests should not bring a gift.
  
  
  

  
  

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• kristinanddan member

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  I think if you are having a shower, you need to at least create a small registry - there are certainly things you could upgrade or a few appliances you would never buy yourself.
  If you refuse to register for anything, decline the shower. There is nothing wrong with a luncheon in your honor but the point of a shower is to shower the bride with gifts, which won't be happening.

  

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• MYLOVE315 member

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  Thanks ladies for all of your input. Wow so many different opinions but I took them all in.  I think I can have the best of both worlds.
  
  I think what I'll do is guide my sisters / bridesmaids into calling it something creative. My thouhgt was and still is just because I'm set up in a house I can always use upgrades. Thanks Kristinanddan. You're right. 
  
  **STEPH** (ssage) YOU crack me up! I hear ya sister. Yes, you're right. Most people I know and that are coming know I'm set up.
  I think some of the guests just feel better bringing a gift and that's fine so I will do a small registry.........Personally, I just want to get together and just bask in the fact that I can't believe I'm finally getting marriede and after ALL of the showers I've been to it's finally my turn! It took long enough but I'm ohhhh so happy!  I like you're idea of the wishing well and I also like the idea of the  Gift card tree -- Thanks Jenni83
  
  Nonetheless, it doesn't mean I shouldn't be honored or showered.  I'll register for a few things but the girls attending will have many options.
   
  Just for the record...I got a group of girls together last year for my friend who was getting married at work and we had champagne....strawberries did the whole nine yards and gave her a HUGE gift card. She was elated and so very happy to be able to take that card and do what she wanted with it. So personally I never underesitmate the power of a gift card but that's just me! 
  
  I appreciate all the different POV's it was helpful.

  

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• kristinanddan member

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-york-hudson-valley_dore-registering?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:113Discussion:8995bc16-1dd1-4c72-b233-a4ba461cef60Post:e3e8de1a-1f98-49f9-a477-80ae814613aa">Re: What do I do....Re: Registering....</a>:
  [QUOTE]Thanks ladies for all of your input. Wow so many different opinions but I took them all in.  I think I can have the best of both worlds. I think what I'll do is guide my sisters / bridesmaids into calling it something creative. My thouhgt was and still is just because I'm set up in a house I can always use upgrades. Thanks Kristinanddan . You're right.  **STEPH** (ssage) YOU crack me up! I hear ya sister. Yes, you're right. Most people I know and that are coming know I'm set up. I think some of the guests just feel better bringing a gift and that's fine<strong> so I will do a small registry.</strong>........Personally, I just want to get together and just bask in the fact that I can't believe I'm finally getting marriede and after ALL of the showers I've been to it's finally my turn! It took long enough but I'm ohhhh so happy!  I like you're idea of the wishing well and I also like the idea of the  Gift card tree -- Thanks Jenni83 Nonetheless, it doesn't mean I shouldn't be honored or showered.  I'll register for a few things but the girls attending will have many options.   Just for the record...I got a group of girls together last year for my friend who was getting married at work and we had champagne....strawberries did the whole nine yards and gave her a HUGE gift card. She was elated and so very happy to be able to take that card and do what she wanted with it. So personally I never underesitmate the power of a gift card but that's just me!  I appreciate all the different POV's it was helpful.
  Posted by MYLOVE315[/QUOTE]
  
  I think that's a great idea. There's always things we want but would't buy ourselves. There's actually a lot of great ideas in a sticky post on the Registry board.

  

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• Shari16

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  I don't think there is anything wrong with asking for gift cards or doing a honeymoon registry. When you have a wedding you invite the people you are closest to. That being said, these people know you and probably know that you and your FI have just about everything you need. I do not think it is tacky to still have a shower or some other type of get together. It's a celebration with the girls and a day to bask in the excitement of the big day to come.
  Can't wait to find out what your girls plan for you!
  Shari

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• MYLOVE315 member

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  Thanks Kristinanddan I'll take a look at the registry board.
  
  Thank you Shari16 for your kind words. I do feel much better. It's true I really just want a get together...I'm not the kind of person that loves the spotlight - I just love the fact that something good has finally happened to me and its a pretty good feelin going from a MS. to a MRS .....most importantly I'm marrying a really great guy! But I will just do a small registry of some sort to appease those who aren't comfortable with giving a gift card.
  
  You guys are the best!
  

  

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• TerriandJoe

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  I'm sorry I'm late to this post.
  
  But a small registry like suggested.
  
  Or traditional item upgrades (better towels, picture frames, etc)
  
  Maybe regster at a home improvement store?
  
  Re. the honetymoon reghistry. We did one. Got one dinner out. It was very nice.
  
  We used Lberty Travel. I know that honeymoon reg istries are very controversial, but I say if you are registering for experiences for your honeymoon (dinners out, scuba lessons, massage on the beach, tickets to a show, etc.)  then I'm fine with that. (And that's the kind of stuff we registered for.) Most guests will probably be ok with that kind of stuff too.
  
  I don't like it when someone puts on their registry - "first classs airfare" or "luxury hotel room" That's not what a registry is fo. And that's the kind of stuff people get turned off by.
  
  I know I'm late, but hope this helps!
  

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• Kris0816

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  Glad you found some resolutions to it all! I personally haven't followed much tradition in most ways. My friend was married two years ago, they had just bought a house - I was the only one who got them a giftcard to Lowe's (she was elated)! I believe your getting married that is whats most important!

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• MYLOVE315 member

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  Thank you Terri ...it's never to late to give your point of view.
  
  Thanks Kris - what an awesome idea for your friend.
  
  I am so appreciative that I was able to pose this question to all of you. I
   don't know how I would've handled certain things without the guidance of all the wonderful ladies on this board. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
  

  

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