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Sister's Role in the Wedding.

chamradschamrads
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in Texas-San Antonio
As of right now, my FI and I do not intend on having my step-sister and her husband in the wedding party (in fact none of our siblings will be in the actual wedding party), but I am closest to this sister.  So I really want her and her husband to play a role in the wedding that will let them know how special they are to us.  I do intend on having her son, my nephew, in the wedding.  Since her and I are pretty close, I would hate for her to be offended that they aren't in the wedding party.Any ideas as to what I could have them do for the wedding??  By the way...the wedding will be outside, and it will not be a super religious wedding.  Thanks for any suggestions!!
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Re: Sister's Role in the Wedding.

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    cikellercikeller
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Are ya'll not having anyone in the WP? Meaning, no WP at all? I guess I'm just wondering why you're not having her in it? If you want her to have a special role, it just seems counter-productive. Or maybe I'm just not fully caffeinated yet. If your only reason for not having her is a symmetrical WP, then add her and be asymmetrical. Much better.
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    chamradschamrads
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    edited December 2011
    We are having a WP.  And it has nothing to do with the symmetry of it all.  But like i said we aren't having any siblings in the wedding, and while I am closer to her than the rest of my siblings, I do not want to have some in it, and some not.  Not to mention her and my dad do not get along AT ALL (she is a "step" sister and her mom and my dad are no longer married).  So there would be more added tension.I do get what you are saying about being counter-productive, I was just hoping to come up with something to make her a part of the wedding, but not IN the wedding.  I may need to re-think this, haha.
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    loreno31loreno31
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    edited December 2011
    IMO I would just add her to the wedding party. I added my step-sister who I am close to but not nearly as close to as my other bridesmaids but i just didnt feel right not including her "officially" in my wedding.  if not then just have her help with planning and that will definitely make her feel involved and important to your big day.
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    slharbi94slharbi94
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    edited December 2011
    I would ask her what would make her feel best. Or have her and her husband do a reading during the ceremony.  
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would go along with the reading idea, however if it isn't a super religious ceremony, that idea may not apply. I feel asking her to help you plan the wedding and not have her in the actual wedding party might be offensive...Is there a specific reason you're not asking siblings into the wedding party? I understand that there's a lot of commitment involved with being in a wedding-and if you're worried about having your siblings enjoy themselves rather than be stressed, I suppose you could give her that explanation and ask her if she wants to help with anything specific.Honestly, maybe you could just have a sit down talk with her. If you're close, I'm sure she'll see your perspective and could give you a better resolution than anyone else. :)
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    cikellercikeller
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    To the above, you can do readins which aren't religious. We had DH's sister read a Shakespearen sonnet. She was the only sibling not in the WP. I have two sisters, and my best friend of 16 years was my MOH. DH considered having her stand on his side, with his bro (BM)- but his other GM was her ex-husband. Aaawk-waaard. They're still friends, but we just thought that would be too much.Anyway, is her son the RB? Maybe she could escort him down the aisle, depending on his age. Or you could have them seated, right before the GP's or parents. Maybe she could light some candles up front, or be an usher. I was an usher at my best male friend's wedding, and sat his parents.
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    tallon617tallon617
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    edited December 2011
    I agree with having her do some sort of reading. You could pick a poem that you love and resembles what your and your FI's union means to you both. It would be a nice touch.
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