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Washington-Seattle

NWR Vent--My cousin (LONG)

Back story: So I have a cousin who lives in CA, about an hour from me. Before I moved here, I had visited CA and went to dinner with her one night. We were very close as kids and grew apart when her family moved further away in NJ, and over the years lost touch. When we hung out, I was shocked--we had so much in common! When I found out I was moving, I thought maybe we'd reconnect.So the whole time I've been out here, I've tried to make plans with her and she'll be all into it and then when it comes down to it, she'll not answer or back out or whatever. The last time I told her it seems like she didn't want to hang out--she insisted she really did, that she was really busy, etc., etc. She DOES have a pretty demanding job and has always been really, really social with friends all over, so I thought there was some truth to this (though I'm sure, like anyone, she could have made time if she wanted). I wouldn't say I was hurt by it--like I said, it's not like we had been close in many years--but just seemed odd, I guess, to not hang out with your cousin who is your only close by family. I'm not sure this is relevant or not, but I have always gotten the distinct sense she is jealous of me. I hate the way that sounds, but it's just in things she says, and I hate it. She has no reason to be jealous either--she is beautiful, has a great job, lots of friends, etc.Anyway, so last week she reached out to me and said she really wanted to make plans. FI and I are packing and arranging for our move this week, but FI agrees to take out some time to see them since he knows I would like to. So we made plans for Sunday (yesterday) to go to the King Tut exhibit in SF and then out to early dinner--me, FI, her and her girlfriend. She tells me to buy my and FI's tickets for the 3 pm slot--twice. So I do it and confirm with her that I did on Saturday. So Sunday rolls along and she texts me at 11 am to say her girlfriend didn't buy the tickets and you can't buy them online the day of the event, but that they called and may be able to get them at the door. I am annoyed because, although we are interested in seeing it, it's not something I would have spent $70 on if we weren't seeing her, especially as we're in the midst of moving cross-country.So I text her back and say she should make sure to get there early then, so she can get tickets. So at 2:20, she texts me to say that we should go "live it up" at Tut and they will meet us afterward to eat. So I'm upset and FI is pretty pissed--we're forced to go to this exhibit we bought tickets for just to see her and now she's not even going! So I think to myself that if she really tried to get there early to get tix, she should already be there or on her way at the very least (since she lives an hour away). So I text her back and just say we're going to get back to packing in that case and we'll see her some other time (thinking she should be like, no, we already left, etc.). So she texts back at 3--the time of the show--and says "No we'll still come, we're just a little behind!" So obviously did not come early and even try to get the tix. When we got to the exhibit I asked if tix were available to purchase and they were.So I just ignored her texts. I also thought it was pretty sh!tty of her to put the blame on her gf, who I've never met. Like stop making excuses and accept the blame. She kept texting me saying how her gf really wants to meet me before the wedding, we can go out to dinner this week, etc. (P.S. Nice assumption you're getting a +1.) I think she realized she made her gf look bad. This morning she e-mails me on FB to apologize again and suggest we go out to dinner this week. Talk about ballsy--sure, let me take out more time from moving across the FREAKING country for someone who stands me up at the last minute.

Re: NWR Vent--My cousin (LONG)

  • edited December 2011
    Ugh, I hate flakey people like that. It's so disrespectful for her to pull what she did multiple times, especially this last weekend. Her loss, IMO. Just tell her you're sorry, you tried to meet up, it didn't work, you two are now busy moving and leave it at that. So sorry you've got to deal with that. It would annoy the heck outta me too.
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  • edited December 2011
    Ugh! I am really annoyed with your cousin. This post really irritated me. I want to punch her. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people invite/try to make plans and then they back out. Or if you ask some one to do something and they say yes, even though they know they won't come, and then last minute cancel. It is SOO inconsiderate! I'm sorry you have to deal with that! That is ridiculous! Honestly, if she wants to see you I say you'll walk to your door to say hi but nothing more than that! :0) I guess maybe I'm just a b!tch.
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  • edited December 2011
    I definitely wouldn't make any time to see her at this point either like pp's. You've got a lot going on and you're moving anyway. Not like you will probably be close. Its okay to be understanding if things come up for people once in a while but she's got quite the track record. I agree, just say you really don't have time right now. You don't owe her anything. LAME that she assumes you're inviting her GF too!!! Geez! What did I miss? Are you moving back to NJ?
  • edited December 2011
    That just irritated the heck out of me, too! I HATE when people pester me several times about remembering to do something (purchase tickets, etc) and then don't even do it on their end! She should have offered to pay you back, or suggest maybe you and she go to the exhibit (and pay you back for one ticket) and leave the partners to join for the meal. If she REALLY wanted to see you, she would offer to come help pack! Cut your losses, focus on moving, and get the heck away from rude flake.
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  • melissa82melissa82 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Thanks guys. You are all right and have the perfect wording to address it.Shortnug--FI accepted a position in Columbus, OH, so we're moving there. =)
  • edited December 2011
    OMG people are going to start asking if he's in the military!! Ohio!!!??? Oh man. How are you feeling about that? I guess it's closer to home which is good. How do you keep finding new jobs?
  • melissa82melissa82 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Actually, Columbus is really cute! I had my doubts, but it's super young (due to OSU) and has one really fun strip with lots of bars and restaurants. Reminds me of a smaller Hoboken, NJ, if you're at all familiar. Our apt is literally right in the thick of it (we're in apts over a storefront), which is perfect for us. It's big--although no pets. =( I am wondering if I could get away with sneaking one in, lol. So I am actually feeling good about it. And obviously the biggest plus is that it's driving distance from home.I'm freelance so luckily I can do my job from wherever. I really wouldn't have been able to have a job otherwise.
  • edited December 2011
    Nice, sounds great! Maybe we will end up there someday given that we have family on both coasts. The winters sound scary though. At least you're close to everything so don't have to be out in it too  much or chopping wood or something.
  • melissa82melissa82 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Chopping wood???? I wouldn't be doing any of that regardless of where I live. ;-)
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