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I'm losing my mind...Help

E. RossE. Ross member
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in Wisconsin
Hello all,My wedding is about a month and a half away ( 1month 4 weeks and 2days to be exact) and I still have TONS to do, my DIY aisle runner, find cheap chair ties, plan out options for the cockttail hour (and a half) make labels for almost everything, beverage containers.etc...complie the music list...attend my FIRST fitting...and still send out the invites!!!!I actually have people calling asking where they are...UGH!!!!. My issue is everytime I ask one of the 3 BM to help they don't or its some excuse, only 1 of my BM has helped (she put together the bouquets and boutonnieres) and finally what made me want to scream was I asked my best friend of 14 years to help out (she lives in NY I live in WI)  and I haven't heard from her sense. What do I do???Wondering why I may be behind...FT job, my son has soccer twice a week and I'm in law school.
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Re: I'm losing my mind...Help

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    heidkecmheidkecm
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    edited December 2011
    First, take a deep breath then make a list of your priorities.  I would say your invites should happen first and then your fitting.  Things like an aisle runner and chair ties aren't necessary for the day and you will probably be the only one who would notice they aren't there.  So if you don't get to them you don't get to them.  While it would be great for BMs and friends to help out, it is not their job.  It is your wedding thus it is your work.  So try not to be upset with them for not being able to help.  Go down your list and complete projects one at a time, maybe even set a timeline for yourself.  Is there something your son or FI could help you with?  Remember that the most important thing about your wedding is starting your life as husband and wife.  No one will care if everything is labeled or not.  Good luck and let us know how it goes!
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    molisarmolisar member
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    edited December 2011
    Ditto with pp on getting invites out right away.  I would also suggest finding a wedding planner to assist.  If it's in your budget, it may help with the stress. And breath!  You don't want to remember your engagement as being a stressful time - try to enjoy yourself and remember what your wedding means.
    My Furbaby Baxter Photobucket
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    aelemaelem member
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    edited December 2011
    Agree with previous poster. Invitations come first.Take a step back with everything else and prioritize a) have to have b) nice to have and c) not really needed.Then only do the have to have's.I'm afraid you may be trying to do too much all by yourself. I wouldn't count on your friend in NY assisting - logistics make it difficult.
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    TheSaltyPeanutTheSaltyPeanut member
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    edited December 2011
    It will be ok... everyone above gave great advice about priorities. (invites STAT!) I hate to break it to you, but you should not have planned on your bridesmaids on helping you out with things. It is not their wedding and it is certainly not their job to help in any aspect in the planning of and execution of your wedding. Your wedding = your work.
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    E. RossE. Ross member
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    edited December 2011
    Thanks everyone, I took everyone's advice and the first thing I did was exhale and then enjoyed some tequlia. The invitations were next on the list, my dear mother took a few DIY jobs off my hands as well. As for the DIY aisle runner well I may just have to forget about it.   Thanks again. 
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    iceprincess15iceprincess15
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    edited December 2011
    Since when has the title of bm evolved to slave?
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    Knottie_22382083Knottie_22382083
    edited December 2011
    The only job of your BMs is to buy the dress and show up. They are not your slaves. They do not have to help you plan your wedding. And do you really think any of them would enjoy making an aisle runner, labels, etc? Are you also going to order them to throw you a shower and bachelorette party?
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    sarah&vinsarah&vin member
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    edited December 2011
    First off, breathe. You're going to make it. You need to get the invites out first. Set yourself a goal of addressing 50 per night, and you'll be done in no time. Your BMs are people just like you - with tons of crap on their plates and they may not be available. It's okay. Next is fitting. You may need a few, so get that started ASAP. Then make a list of what's left and edit. What is unnecessary? What can you afford to buy versus DIY? Maybe you buy an asile runner, maybe you skip it. Try BBJ Linens for the chair ties. Here's another tip - not everything has to be labeled. Not everything needs directions. You guests will be just fine without a menu, without every candy dish labeled, etc. I promise that you will look back on this and wonder why you were so stressed.
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    E. RossE. Ross member
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    edited December 2011
    since I got engaged iceprincess15, althought I'm no where near as bad as that chick on Bridezilla.
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    Dani_n_JayDani_n_Jay member
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    edited December 2011
    Wait, what?  Am I understanding you correctly in that the title of BM=Slave when you became engaged?  Your BM's don't owe you any of their time with helping put together YOUR wedding.  Yes, it would be nice of them to help, but they don't owe it to you. What you need to do is breathe and calm down.  Send out your invites.  Take care of your dress fitting.  Those are your #1 priority.  Do you *really* need to label everything?  Probably not.  Your guests are not idiots (well, at least not all of them will be) and have attended weddings before.  They will figure it out.  Maybe a DIY aisle runner is a nice touch, but is it a necessity?  Probably not.Planning the options for the cocktail hour shouldn't take more than an hour or two.  No need to overthink it.Are you having a DJ?  If so, let them do their job and play music that the crowd responds to.  Aren't you paying them for a reason?  Give them a list of "do not play" songs or artists and be done with it.Voila.  Not so stressful afterall.
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    E. RossE. Ross member
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    edited December 2011
    Dani...naw not what I meant...what I forgot to put is they always offer to help but when I ask them to its some excuse or they don't.. oops...
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