responses

rinoa0587 · July 2009

Hey all, well my response cards are due tomorrow and as my siggy shows only 65 people have responded with yes'. like 6 nos. and like what 220 no responses. when should I start calling and harrasing these people? I sent out the invites on july 1st so its not like they've had it sitting around for two months or anything. just getting a little worried, especially since I'd like to know how much booze to buy.

beckcour · July 2009

Our RSVP date was on a Friday. I had all weekend to call people, and I started calling the day after the RSVP was due. We did an online and phone RSVP though, so it wasn't like we were waiting for little cards in the mail. When does your caterer or hall need a count by? I set our RSVP date so we had a week to call people before our count was due. 220 is quite a few to call.

If it makes you feel any better, 50% of our guests had not RSVPed by the date. Good luck!

anowak102 · July 2009

Mine are due next Friday and I only received 29 and still have about 75 still. I am stressing and have no idea what do as well. I really don't want to guess because we are paying per person for food and alcohol.

beckcour · July 2009

I would absolutely call everyone, because it is a lot of money to waste if you assume everyone is going to show up. And don't assume if people haven't RSVPed that they are not coming. We had several people tell us they were coming, after the RSVP date, after I called them. Be prepared, because people will RSVP yes, then not show up. We had 15 people RSVP yes and not show up, and 9 people who were not invited showed up.

rinoa0587 · July 2009

I have dianne catering so I still have another week to get her a head count. Its going to be difficult though because I gave my FMIL the return address invites I got from her family, and instead of calling the family she just gave the invites to friends at work, so I now have 15 invites floating around with a potential for that to be 15-40 guests that I cant get ahold of. I can call my family and friends but getting ahold of their family and friends is going to be extremely difficult. just getting a guest list was like pulling teeth, and I still dont know all of the people they invited. I feel like I'm going to need a bouncer or something at my wedding saying yes your on the list go on in, or nope you didn't rsvp, get outta here. why is it so hard to put a number on a card, seal it and drop it back in the mail? I guest I'll start calling over the weekend. thanks for the advice, and the opportunity to vent a bit!

JaymeLeigh · July 2009

Can you enlist family members to help and encourage people to send their replies in? We had some people who just assumed we knew they would come so didn't send theirs in. I asked fi's mom to follow up on his side and my stepmom to follow up on my side. If they are the ones who wanted to invite people, they should help get replies from them

rinoa0587 · July 2009

I talked to his mom and told her. she goes, well mark us down for like 50 ppl, since you sent about 70 invites to our side. had to fight with her for like 10 min to get her to say she would start calling around, meaning two days before the wedding she make one phone call. luckily on my side my aunt can help tonight.

beckcour · July 2009

Absolutely enlist others to help. I divided up our list, gave DH his half and told him to start calling, or asking his family members to call. My mom actually called all her family for me. She was a big help! Give them a cutoff date that you have to know by. If they haven't told you yes, they're coming by a certain date, then they can't come. Tell them you already turned in your head count to the caterer if yours or his family wants to add people late.

sspino · July 2009

I waited about a week after the due date to see if we got any stagglers. I started e-mailing and calling people. Luckily we didn't have a lot to get a hold of.

JenandJeff2009 · July 2009

Wow you are missing a ton! I hope we don't have to end up calling that many people! But you do have to call, otherwise you'll end up wasting a lot of money or not having enough food/booze if you try to guess.

rinoa0587 · July 2009

Just got off the phone w/FMIL she is insisting on just buying 30 over for food, and she just doesnt get that people need to RSVP not only for food but for booze, cake, chairs and tables. on top of that I got a response for a name not on either of our lists and asked her and she doesn't know who it is, meaning its a co-worker she barely knows that she invited and forgot. plus since I only gave her 15 invites I think shes inviting people word of mouth! did anyone else have this much trouble with a parent, and what did you do? I'm seriously considering a doorman with a guest list now:(

JenandJeff2009 · July 2009

I would have your FI call her and explain that phone calls need to be made to those who were sent invites. He also needs to specifically ask her if others were invited that are not on your list. How embarassed would you feel if people showed up and you didn't have enough food or a seat for them?! She is out of control.

anowak102 · July 2009

*****rinoa0587***I am having the same problem with my FMIL. She wanted to invite all these people and none of them have responded. I am getting very frustrated and stressed about it all. I as well have to pay for the linens including chair covers, the food and the booze. That stuff all adds up and she doesn't understand it's a lot of money.

rinoa0587 · July 2009

I can feel your pain anowak, right now I feel like this is going to be more a party to entertain her than to celebrate my marriage. She's basically ruining what fun I'm supposed to be having with this. my dad says just pay the extra to keep peace, but I think thats crap especially since he hasn't invited any of his friends or distant relatives that we don't talk to anymore.

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