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Garter/Bouquet toss?

nilaniluvnilaniluv
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in South Asian Weddings
This question came up in the budget board and it got my thinking. Since we are having a non-denominational ceremony, I will wear a white dress then I will change into a Sari ...is it necessary to do the garter/bouquet toss? Did any of you do it? I find it might be kind of silly for FI to start searching under 6 yards of wrapped fabric hahaha. I just don't want people to think we forgot to do it when really its not a tradition in our cultures and I don't really like it to begin with.
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Re: Garter/Bouquet toss?

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    sisterghsistergh
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    edited December 2011
    We haven't gotten married yet, but I'm definitely going to toss my bouquet.  I'll probably have changed back into Indian clothing then, but probably my lehenga and not a sari.  I doubt we'll do a garter toss, both because I find it weird and because FI is terribly shy about such things around his parents.
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    versace1008versace1008
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    edited December 2011
    honestly if you are SA you shouldn't do the garter thing...it doesn't fly well with indian people-iust looks trashy, thats my opinion!!!!If you have a bouquet you should do a bouquet toss!
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    Meghana55Meghana55 member
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    edited December 2011
    Based on what I've seen on my local board, I think a lot of girls opt to not do the garter toss anymore.  Many do for traditions sake, but as you said, it's not really a tradition in your cultures so it probably isn't necessary.  And depending how conservative your families are, they may feel uncomfortable about it.  I don't think people will really miss it if it's not there! As for the bouquet toss, go for it!  But I think how many single ladies you have attending factors into this decision.  If you know there will be a bunch of single women who would happily go up there to try and catch the bouqet, then I see no problem.  However, if there are only a few single women attending, they may feel awkward being singled out. 
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    SmithaandMikeSmithaandMike member
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    edited December 2011
    I knew from the very begining we would not do the garter toos. I don't think it looks very classy anyways and on top of that my parents probably wouldn't mind but they wouldn't understand why we were doing it and not appreciate it either! We are not doing a bouquet becuase I didn't really felt I needed one and it saved money not having one.So I guess it comes down to if you feel comfortable doing that in front of your family and his and all the friends.
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    DCbride09DCbride09
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    edited December 2011
    I agree with the other posters that I would be uncomfortable with the garter toss in front of everyone.  I'm not having a buquet, and we won't have that many single women there anyway.  If you have the same situation but did want to do something in place of a bouqet toss, I think an anniversary dance is a cute idea.  The DJ asks all the married couples to dance.  After a little bit of time, he asks everyone who has been married less than one year to sit down.  Then 5 years, 10 years, etc. until there is only one couple left on the dance floor.  You can then give your bouquet to that couple who has been married the longest.
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    wdc*bridewdc*bride
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    edited December 2011
    I haven't seen the garter or bouquet toss in real life for about five years now (and I've been to a lot of weddings).  So you can definitely skip it.  I don't like them personally, so we're not doing either.
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    sisterghsistergh
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yeah, I missed that you didn't like them.  It's totally okay to skip both of them, although I will say that re the bouquet toss, it may not be as traumatic as some people think.  I always enjoyed it when I was single.  I caught it once and my friends' husbands acted like I'd won the Super Bowl.  And there's always be good-natured trash talking among the single ladies. 
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    erin&andyerin&andy member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You can totally skip them. I'm doing both (and yes, I'm kinda nervous about the garter toss... ) but I figured it would be at least fun, if not hokey, and it's one of the ways we're acknowledging traditions on the American side.
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    Lil_miss_shaLil_miss_sha
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    The last few weddings I went to that had a bouquet toss, it landed in front of a bunch of girls and no one wanted to pick it up (like in Sex and the City).  Another wedding I went to the person who got the garter and person who got the bouquet were brother and sister.  Yeah, it was awkward. We're not doing these because 1.) makes me feel odd - I never liked tossing the bouquet and I don't like the garter toss at all, and 2.) it's not within our cultures.  I can totally envision my mother shaking her head saying "This isn't our culture!"  I swear that woman gets more and more conservative in her old age.  This past weekend she got pissy because someone had bridesmaids at their Indian wedding!  So ridiculous...
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