Complaints!!

becky33333 · July 2009

Hello Ladies,I need to vent. We are getting married in about a month. We have had a "prelimanary" seating chart since our invitations went out. I am now getting calls from people asking that they be seat or there or from the GM that their dates be sat a different tables than what I had planned. Our Best Man went as far as to tell me how to do my seating chart. I have really had it!! At this point I am ready to call off the whole thing and run away and get married by ourseleves. I am just so sick of hearing people complain about this or that. It is stressing us out to the max!! Any advice ladies or suggestions?! [url=http://www.weddingcountdown.com][img]http://img.weddingcountdown.com/ticker/senwdtm.png[/img][/url]

mandyandmike2009 · July 2009

I wouldnt let it bother you. Put everyone where you want them and if they have a problem they can drop their gift at the gift table and head down the street to the local Mcdonald's and grab themselves a kids meal. It's your wedding and the seating assignment should be the least of your worry. If someone can't sit at a table long enough to eat dinner then they have a problem.

Mrs.B6302007 · July 2009

You have some very rude guests. I would be pissed off if one of my adult guests put in for a seating request. It's an adult social gathering, not a middle school science lab group. You don't get to choose your table buddies.Just say, "Thanks for the suggestions - I'll see what we can do" and then change absolutely none of your plans.

Stackeye210 · July 2009

Stop sharing it with them. It's none of their business.

MOBinFL2008 · July 2009

Mrs. B, Just to enlighten you, my middle school kids sit at tables in my classroom. They have no say in who their tables mates are and they don't complain about it. Even middle school kids realize that it's just for a short time. :-)Becky, don't tell your guests who they're sitting with. They can find out when they get to the reception. If they keep giving you "suggestions" just tell they that you're working on the plan and don't anticipate finalizing it until the day before the wedding.

amymoidl · July 2009

ditto MOB! I teach chemistry and biology..and I choose lab groups

If high schoolers can handle it, so can your guests. How do they know where you have them seated? I would never THINK to request a seat...I would keep the seating chart they way you have it (assuming everyone RSVPs yes) and not share it with anyone anymore...and if they ask about it, just brush it off or ignore the comment.

Mrs.B6302007 · July 2009

Well, I too am a teacher and there have been many opportunities for students to choose their own groups as well as being assigned to groups. I know of several science teachers who do a balance of self-selected as well as assigned.

amymoidl · July 2009

Mrs. B --> you don't have to explain yourself to me

Was just making a point that even youngsters have to sit places they don't always choose!

Mrs.B6302007 · July 2009

I agree - if kids can deal for a couple of hours, so can adults. =-)My response was really intended for MOB. I was having a hard time reading her tone and it came across to me that she was correcting me on MS classroom procedures. ;-)

mandysmear · July 2009

I always got to choose who I worked with in highschool. I bet you 1 in every 10 group projects was assigned. Probably depends on the teacher.Obviously MrsB is an awesome, cool teacher with great students who can work well in whichever groups they choose

pamila51510 · July 2009

I have to agree! I am a girl scout leader and they do not get to choose who they will be with at all. We choose the groups they will be preparing things with whether is an assignment during a meeting or during a campout. They have to eat together and work together as a team. If these adults can't work out sitting together for dinner they have some major issues!!!

jeannigirl · July 2009

Yes don't listen to them. Do it the way you want and be done with it.

jessm84 · July 2009

When I read the post my immediate reaction was, as a teacher of high school, this sounds just like my students, but everyone beat me to it. I agree, it's not their choice and they need to stop whining like children. If they don't like who they are sitting next to they can stand...get over it. I hate complainers!

mandysmear · July 2009

Confession: I called my friend to ask her where she put me and my husband at her wedding. I was afraid to get stuck with her H's coke-head friends.

bablingbrooke · July 2009

Just don't do a seating chart. We had open seating and it worked out perfectly. Your GM wouldn't be upset because they aren't seated WITH their dates, would they? If that's the case, that was a no-no on your end.

goheels05 · July 2009

Your GM wouldn't be upset because they aren't seated WITH their dates, would they? If that's the case, that was a no-no on your end.I was thinking the exact same thing.

becky33333 · July 2009

I appreciate the comments and suggestions. I am having a formal wedding with a sit down dinner. I have to have asigned seating and I am sorry no dates aren't sitting at my head table. I don't people I don't know sitting at my head table and in all the photos. Our wedding is our wedding and we should be able to do it whatever way we want and not have to deal with people complain that their GF isnt at teh head table. I mean I think that is a little unrealistic.

jens_a_ten · July 2009

How does it even make sense to compare adults at a wedding to children in school? The decisions made about wedding seating shouldn't be based on what people can "put up with". They should be made in an attempt to make sure people are comfortable and have the best time possible. Whereas that would be a lot lower on the priority list with seating kids in a classroom. Random comparison.

bablingbrooke · July 2009

I don't people I don't know sitting at my head table and in all the photos. How many photos do you actually expect there to be of you eating? Have you EVER seen a photo of ppl eating in a wedding album? I haven't.Also, you must not have asked very good friends if their SOs are strangers to you.Our wedding is our wedding and we should be able to do it whatever way we want and not have to deal with people complain that their GF isnt at teh head table. I mean I think that is a little unrealistic.No, YOU are being unrealistic. The trend is to have a sweetheart table and put the WP with their dates; we did that and it was great. It was our only time alone all night together (all 18 minutes of it). Head tables are very 1980s.While it isn't the end of the world, if it means that much to the GM, why not be a nice bride and just acquiesce? This is the sort of thing that comes back to haunt brides after the wedding--in the quest for "perfect photos" they wind up p!ssing off their dearest friends. Is that really worth it to you?

becky33333 · July 2009

My only option is a head table for those who think its 1980's which I loved the 80's so that is cool with me! The room is set up that way and there is nothing I can do about it. Did you have people tell you where they wanted to sit at your wedding?

bablingbrooke · July 2009

1. I find it very hard to believe that the venue is "making you" have a head table. I'm sure your venue, like mine, can accommodate either.2. As I said before, we had open seating and everyone loved it. Hooray for buffet!3. Again, I'm just saying that you want to choose which hills you want to die on carefully. If this is upsetting your FI's friends (they are his friends/family first, GM second), you would do well to just let them sit with their dates. This is one of those things that means nothing on the day of to you (you'll be pulled in 8 million directions and be lucky if you get to eat at all) but will mean a lot to these dates who are being asked to sit alone. Remember that you would like to stay friends with these people after the wedding.4. What does your FI think about all this?

becky33333 · July 2009

My FI is very upset with his best man. They have been best friends for 20 years and he can't believe the way he is acting. This is not the only thing he has complained about. He has also complained that his brothers gf isnt invited. Also, the best man messed up his BP and never called any of the other GM in our wedding, so they weren't invited until last min. I do get the point about needing to pick you battles, trust me I have kept my mouth shut a lot.Unfortunately, the venue can't accomadate a sweetheart table which is what I wanted. We just have enough room for all of our tables. My point is we have spent a year planning our wedding and for someone to come in and tell us they dont like the way we are doing it is wrong in our opinion. We did tell him we would do our best but what person complains about these things to their best friend a month before the wedding.

bablingbrooke · July 2009

I can see how that would be very frustrating; trust me, I had the MOH from hell (see my post over on WP about it). However, you will not regret being the bigger person and neither will your FI. If the BM wants to sit w/ his date during dinner, so what? By holding your ground, you're giving him more reason to complain to you and to others about you. Nobody is going to notice or care that he isn't at the head table, they'll be focusing on their own food and own table's conversation. I know your FI is upset, but trust me: you'll both be so busy and on such a high that it won't matter day of.My DH and I followed what we called the one day rule: if something would be completely irrelevant one day after the wedding, we wouldn't fight it/worry about it. We don't regret it one bit. This very much falls into that category. I know it feels like a big deal now, but honestly, you won't notice or care the next day who ate where.

MOBinFL2008 · July 2009

Mrs. B...no negative tone implied at all. Just pointing out that MS kids don't whine like Becky's wedding guests do. I hoped you'd understand that when I put my :-)

stina93446 · July 2009

Just put people where you planned to put them. Just because people put in these requests doesn't mean you have to honor them. It is also a bit rude of them to demand this. My aunt has done this, and while I'll see what I can do, I can't promise anything.

JoShan1719 · July 2009

Ignore them. Seat them where you need to and be done with it. It's only for a couple hours while they eat and then they'll be dancing the rest of the night. They'll get over it. What babies!

dsouldiva · July 2009

In general guest should be able to get over the seating arrangements for a couple for a couple of hours I agree...However, if you aren't seating your WP guests with WP then you should give some thought to where you put them and try and put them with someone they know.Or... let the one's with guests sit at the other tables if they would feel more comfortable with this (just a thought)I agree with pp about photos of WP eating, they don't happen, the only time you get photos of the head table is if you do the speeches there.I wouldn't stress about it though, if you feel you've put people together with other people they will get on with, just say "unfortunately I've already printed the table plan and sent it to the caterers, sorry". Personally, I've never heard of people requesting seating at a Wedding before.

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