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Brides Maid drama

PT2008PT2008
First Comment
in Wedding Party
Ok I asked my Cousin to be a brides maid and her daughter to be a flower girl at Christmas the day we got engaged. My grandmother bought her daughters dress already and she has yet to get hers ordered. The wedding is Oct. 10,2009. She since has became this spoiled all about her attitude and everyone owes her. We got into an arguement over this and a few days after that she withdrew her and her daughter from the wedding party. I talked with my grandma about it and she said that she was trying to get her to put her daughter back in it and I texted her to ask her if it was out of instant anger that she made that decision and she has yet to respond. I want to replace her at this point with another friend. Should I do this?
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Re: Brides Maid drama

  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    1, Please NEVER replace your attendants.  They're your nearest and dearest friends.  Replacing them makes it seem like you're filling slots in your own unpaid show.Why not CALL your cousin and try to work things out because she's family?  Even if she's been a pill, see what you can do to resolve the issue - not because you're getting married but because she was close enough to you to ask her to be in your wedding in the first place.Please don't try to resolve anything through text or email.  A phone call or a personal visit is the way to go with this.
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    ditto banana.  If your cousin doesn't want to be a BM, don't replace her.  WPs are not about symmetry or gender.  They are about having the people you care the most about stand with you on you wedding day.If someone wasn't on the "A" list when you first asked your WP, don't bring in the second team.  It's insulting.And for heaven's sake, pick up the phone, call your cousin, and ask her out for a cup of coffee and actually TALK to her.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I realize I didn't say what 2 was - 2 is make a phone call.  :-)
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  • dsouldivadsouldiva
    500 Comments
    I agree, don't "replace people" it's rude to the stand in and will only add fuel to the fire of the arguement.Texting and Emails should never be used if you have fallen out with someone because they allow the tone of your voice to be set by the other person's perception of the situation, resulting in all sorts of misunderstandings, further aggrievation etc.  Call her or go and see her.
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  • duckie1905duckie1905 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    Texting is a 13-year-old way to resolve a disagreement.Be a grownup and call her!And, you never replace a member of the WP.  It is douche-tastic.
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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Read my post below: Any and all WP problems melt away the day of the wedding. So don't replace.  For one thing, you might work this out (warning: you WILL have to be an adult and call or visit her), and for another, anyone asked at this point will know she's a filler.  I had an uneven BP.  Nobody cared, least of all DH and I.
    Courtesy of megk8oz
    image
    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
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  • PT2008PT2008
    First Comment
    Ok maybe I did not make myself clear on this dilemma. I have tried calling her and she has not responded to my phone calls. In her eyes it is a privilage for me to have her in my wedding and not a privilage to be in the wedding. I love my cousin. I wanted my other friend in the wedding but one can not have 16 bridesmaids in a wedding. I was trying to do the family even out thing for the wedding party. The fair thing. And to my suprise the text did work she did respond to that and we are talking now.
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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    We had an uneven BP: I had 4, DH had 3.  Nobody noticed or cared, even MIL, who was very against the uneven WP idea.
    Courtesy of megk8oz
    image
    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
    Report Reply
  • zitiqueenzitiqueen member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    You have 15 bridesmaids? But 16 is excessive?
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