Ivory means you slept together?

dsbargaehr · August 2009

Has anyone heard that an ivory wedding dress means that either: this is your second marriage or that you have slept together?My wedding dress which I just found only comes in two different shades ivory a whiter version and a cream version (which I love!) and my Mother thinks everyone knows ivory means second marriage or that you are sleeping together.I don't know what to do because this dress is over my budget. But I LOVE IT. And my Mother said she would split the cost with me. My only thing is if I split the cost should I go with the whiter version as a compromise?

october010bride · August 2009

I'm wearing ivory and personally, I think that what your mother said might be the most ridiculous thing ever. Wear the color you love and don't worry what anyone else thinks. If you can't afford the dress w/out your mother's help keep looking. There are thousands of dresses out there, you're bound to find another one in your budget.

mbcdefg · August 2009

Seriously?

grace_anthony · August 2009

that was true back in the day but come on look i lived with my husband for 3 yrs before the wedding and i wore pure white lol you can wear whatever you want..

natatomic · August 2009

my dress is ivory--because it goes better with my skin tone not because of what ive done in bed.

mbcdefg · August 2009

It was never true. White colors became popular because Queen Victoria wore white to her wedding, to show off how unique and rich she was, and then everyone wanted to copy her because she was fashionable. Along the way, people made up this B.S. about virginity and purity and all that horsecrap to sell their merchandise.

julia_michelle · August 2009

I think you should wear whatever colour you are comfortable in, and you like, and tell your mother her old fashioned opinions are not the ones wearing the dress

My dress is "champagne". I don't bloody well care what anyone thinks of that!

hanron007 · August 2009

In my mind, no matter what anyone says about Queen Victoria white symbolizes purity to me. That being said, Ivory is a shade of white. Most people can't tell the difference between the two unless they are put next to one another. I think in spite of how the tradition of brides wearing white started, people think that it means purity so in essence, that is what it has become. Very old fashioned people may think of ivory as less pure but I don't think any modern bride will follow that.I will be wearing ivory to my wedding and I am a virgin bride.

ggmae · August 2009

I've heard this before and think it's the dumbest thing ever. Wear whatever color you want. Not many people think that anyway.

bridesrighthand · August 2009

Ummm, NEVER have I heard that. No disrespect to your mother, but that is a very ignorant statment, imo. Wear what you want~! I agree that if you can't get the dress without mom's help, look for another one. What dress is it? Maybe we can hel pyou find one like it.

cqbride · August 2009

Considering that only cotton could be anything but off-white before the popularization and more refined manufacturing of synthetic fiber, I guess that means that there were no virgins before on, say, WWII. I'll bet money your grandmother's dress was ivory or off-white. For centuries women wore their best dress to their wedding, and usually it was a dark color. Queen Victoria popularized the "white" wedding dress to showcase the English lacemaking industry. The traditional symbol of purity at a wedding is the veil.

mmm_080809 · August 2009

Was your mother born in the 1800s? Because what she said has got to be one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard. A dress is just a dress - believe me, no one will read assumptions about your personal lives into a pile of silk and tulle! There are a million different shades of white when it comes to wedding gowns, and ivory is only one of them. Most shades are so close in color that most people can't tell the difference between them unless they're compared side by side. And the reason why there are so many shades of "white" is because true white doesn't look good on most people. Who wants to look washed out on their wedding day? Many brides choose ivory gowns simply because it is a much more flattering color on most skin tones.

dianejo · August 2009

Last time I checked this was 2009 not 1909! Many girls are wearing ivory, off-white, champagne and even light gold wedding dresses. Including myself. I chose a dress that compliments my skin tone and does not make me look like a corpse. If you cannot afford the dress - keep looking and chose a dress within your budget, that you can pay for yourself without your Mothers financial help or silly input.

Ainslie325 · August 2009

Ivory just looks better on some skin tones. Your Mom is right-- this is a very antiquated notion, but the colors once did have those connotations attached. I'm wearing ivory. Infer what you will, but I've alwyas thought the idea was odd. Why would I be willing to say, via my ivory dress, that "I've slept with my now-husband before marriage." Would I ever greet people in the receiving line by saying, "Hi, thanks for coming, I've been sleeping with him for two years--ee you at the reception"? We're beyond the Victorian era, in which a woman's virginal status kept her from being viewed as a social pariah-- spoiled goods. Tell your mom it's just not perceived that way anymore.

mbcdefg · August 2009

The traditional symbol of purity at a wedding is the veil. Wasn't the veil originally intended for arranged marriages, so that the groom couldn't back out if the bride was butt-ugly? (Veil would be over her face until the I Do's were done and the marriage was sealed?)I'm not at all trying to correct you - just bringing up the point of how different rumors/meanings have been attached to all these traditions.

Googs79 · August 2009

That's hilarious. Do people still actually think like that? What a hoot! The color of your dress means absolutely NOTHING in modern times. Americans and other westerners tend to wear white or shades of white for tradition only. Good luck on finding a beautiful dress that looks great on you.

jenmcg · August 2009

I will tell you that my mom was surprised that I wasn't wearing white (mine is ivory as well) - which made me laugh b/c she's normally very up on things. But she got over it quickly when I told her that there isn't some "requirement" to wear white these days. Of course she also spazzed at the idea of shoes in one of your colors, but it is entertaining

mrskongkran · August 2009

I second the comment by natatomic . Ivory is a great color and that's why I choose it. Besides, this is not the 50's, who cares what you and "the man your spending the rest of your life with anyway" did before the day you said "I DO".

alliecarrie41 · August 2009

hahahahahha. sorry, but your mom is off her rocker. never heard that.

chasegl · August 2009

As pps have said, your mom's view isn't new, just a little outdated. When her generation got married, that view was still around. It isn't so much anymore in our generation, but I wouldn't be surprised if some of the guests also didn't know that the color of the dress is no longer a symbol for purity. Do what you're comfortable with. I think I look terrible in white. It matters to my FI that I wear white, though, so my compromise is to wear a complementing tone for the wedding dress and white lingerie for the wedding night. It doesn't matter to me what other people think or assume.

Rat Kitty · August 2009

Actually white wedding dreses came about when colored fabrics were being sold at a premium and then white became the standard. IF Mom is going to go half with you on the dress then please get the dress in the color you want and to hell with the rest.....be happy its your day!

KatieMae88 · August 2009

I also have to wear ivory for the simple fact that white washes me out. I say you do what you want and your mom will learn to love it with you.

Ivory means you slept together?

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