circling tradition during ceremony

pwr2sparky · July 2009

Hi All, Just wondering if any of you did the circling tradition at your ceremony? If so, did both of you circle each other or did you just circle the groom (3 or 7 times). How did you explain the tradition in your program (if applicable..many of our guests will not be Jewish). Would it be considered strange to have a Jewish ceremony and not do the circling part? Thanks!

Shoshie · July 2009

We did 3-3-1. :)We described it as symbolizing that we are both the centers of each other's universe -- and the last circle (us together) represented the life we would share together.

Voltinxi · July 2009

I have been having the same thoughts! If we do the circling, we will both circle.

Rachiemoo · July 2009

I don't think it would be considered strange to not do the circling as it is more of a tradition than actual Jewish Law, though I do think it is a nice custom!I circled him 3 times. I don't remember exactly what I wrote in the program but I found the following explanations from chabad.org: Circling: The tradition of the bride circling the male is an allusion to the prophecy regarding the Messianic Era: "The female will surround [and protect] the male."3 With these circles the bride is creating an invisible wall around her husband; into which she will step -- to the exclusion of all others. The three bridal circuits symbolize the three expressions of betrothal between G‑d and Israel:4 "I will betroth you unto Me forever. I will betroth you unto Me in mercy, in judgment, in loving kindness, and in righteousness: I will betroth you unto me in faithfulness..." As mentioned, in many communities -- particularly those which closely follow kabbalistic traditions -- the bride circles the groom seven times. This recalls the seven times Joshua and the Israelites circled the walls of Jericho to bring down its walls. Similarly, the bride circles her groom seven times to break down any remaining walls or barriers between them. The seven circles also allude to the seven chupahs which G‑d erected in the Garden of Eden in honor of the wedding of Adam and Eve. The counterclockwise circuits mean that the bride is circling towards her right side. According to kabbalah, the right side is symbolic of G‑d's loving-kindness.

slbriz34 · July 2009

We haven't sat down with our rabbi yet to discuss details, but we'll probably keep it fairly traditional so I will circle - just a question of whether it's 3 or 7 times (though maybe my rabbi will surprise me). The bigger issue for us is that FI doesn't want to wear a kittel - we'll see what our rabbi says, I leave it up to him.

tenofcups4me · July 2009

Didn't circle and I've only once seen a bride circle a groom (at an Orthodox wedding). It's not something that's been done at any Reform wedding I've ever attended so in my crowd, I'd find it more strange if you did circle than if you didn't.

Danaz1 · July 2009

at every jewish wedding I have been to the bride has circled the groom. I will circle my fiance 7 times. He will no circle me. My fiance is not wearing a kittel either and the rabbi who is orthodox did not have a problem with that.

joesbby · July 2009

We are not going to circle each other. Instead the Rabbi is going to talk about how it is tradition that we do and what it means but that instead he is going to wrap us both in the tallit, then do the seven blessings.

silversparks · July 2009

We did 3-3-1. We explained it as an action symbolizing how we were establishing our marriage as mutually supportive and nurturing (or something like that). I don't think it's strange to have a Jewish ceremony with or without it, all the circling options are traditions, so mainly it's a matter of what you feel comfortable with. Whichever you choose, I highly recommend that you practice! Also, look at each other as you go around, try holding hands too, for us, it was all about a way to connect with each other as we got to the chuppah.To those bringing up the kittel question - also totally a matter of tradition, I have seen both wearing it and not in a total spectrum of Jewish weddings. Generally I think the determining factor was whether or not the groom had one or wanted one as a wedding gift. DH wore his kittel (he also wore it when he proposed), but opted against wearing his tallit.

silversparks · July 2009

v\:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);} o\:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);} b\:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);} .shape {behavior:url(#default#VML);} 281 7772400 10058400 259 261 257 276 262 279 1 0`````````````````````` 5 1 0 285 282 1 False 0 0 0 0 -1 304800 243 True 128 77 255 3175 3175 70 True True True True True 278 134217728 1 1 -9999996.000000 -9999996.000000 8 Empty Empty 16777215 16777215 16777215 16711680 10027110 16777215 58 Black & White 22860000 22860000 (`@````````` 266 263 5 110185200 110185200 Aha - here's the wording from our program:"Deborah and Steven will each circle the other three times, and then they will walk together in a circle once for a total of seven. This protective and nurturing action of the chatan and kallah symbolizes the care and comfort they will share with one another as they enter their chuppah, the symbol of their new home, to become husband and wife."

RedZee · July 2009

We did not circle. In Sephardic custom, there is no circling.I also read somewhere that the bride circles the groom to create a holy space for them to share.

JoelsGirl07 · July 2009

I did 7 by myself. I recommend choosing someone to keep count for you. My MOH's husband sat in the second row behind my grandma (who he escorted in) and he kept count with his fingers on his legs.....SO helpful...although you can still hear me ask DH if we are done yet in the video!My program is on my tips for brides link and has a pretty good explanation for circling. We also got a cool layout from my photographer of me circling...it's 3 pics in a row...It is not considered strange unless you are orthodox to not have this as part of the ceremony. I actually had to ask my Rabbi to include it b/c he doesn't normally since most women don't do it.

hbarbour · July 2009

I am planning to circle FI seven times. The song that my parents and I are walking down the aisle to is a bit long, so I'm hoping that it will be not only symbolic and beautiful, but help us build in that extra minute of Van Morrison! Below is our rabbi approved program language:There is a tradition of the bride circling the groom under the chuppah immediately following the processional. Modern interpretations of this custom sometimes include both bride and groom circling each other three or seven times. In this ceremony, the bride's circling is defining a new family space and binding her to the groom in faith, lovingkindness, and compassion.

phkesner · July 2009

Two related queestions: does music still play during circling. does it matter which way you walk around (clockwise, counterclockwise)?

Rachiemoo · July 2009

yes we played music during the circling - i don't think you have to do it either way. i think different traditions may do counterclockwise or clockwise - ask your rabbi.

MoFree · July 2009

We had originally planned to circle 3-3-1 for our Reform ceremony. However, it turned out that I only circled 3 times. The tradition was explained in the program that we are the center of each other's world and to cradte our own home and family. If it's a custom that's important to you and your FI, then it doesn't matter whether someone might find it strange.

Knottie_22381855 · July 2009

I circled three times. In my program, I said the following: Circles Before entering the Chuppah, Lisa will circle Glenn three times. There are different explanations for the practice of the bride circling the groom. One is that she is creating the space they will share together. Another is that she possesses the ability to form a protective circle around her groom and herself.

NaomiGary · August 2009

I think I'm going to be circling 7 times, and we're not orthodox, so it depends on if you think the custom is important to you. There are many different ways to do a Jewish ceremony, there are actually very few requirements (well, that's what I read in Anita Diamant's "the new jewish wedding)." Don't worry about what your attendants will understand or not get, I would ask whoever is doing your invitations if they have examples of explanations of the custom available.Also, I bet your rabbi would have explanations of the customs available for you to put in the programs as well.

Liz4444 · August 2009

i will be circling michael 7 times. i am reform, so it wasn't a custom i was familiar with and had never seen it before. his family is orthodox, so we will be married by an orthodox rabbi... all of the women in his family have done it. we are not having a program, although most of our guests will be jewish, i have been at other weddings where the rabbi explains what the couple is doing before it happens so everyone knows.

circling tradition during ceremony

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