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Dress Drama

JessicaE84JessicaE84 member
10 Comments
in Wedding Woes
I had a really bad incident with my bridesmaids this week.

Over a month ago, we picked out the bridesmaid dresses. We actually ended up finding a dress that was exactly what we were looking for at Express, so it was within everyone's budget and was something they could definitely wear again. All of the girls were really excited about it.

I should explain that one of my bridesmiads is my fiance's sister and we are not close. I really only asked her to be in the wedding because I fully expected by fiance to have my brother as a groomsman. She was worried the dress wouldn't fit her because she has big boobs and thinks she is fat (which she truly is not) but she got it in the biggest size and told me it was small but that she had already lost 6 lbs since she tried it on, was planning on losing more and that I should not worry about it.

Last week, I was informed from my fiance (who was informed by his mother, who spoke to his sister) that the dress doesn't fit and that she refuses to try to lose weight, get it altered or try it with the proper undergarments. (She is really not a girly girl and I guarantee was not wearing a good bra when she tried it on.) She said that if I had my heart set on the dress, she wouldn't be in the wedding.

Obviously, I can't tell my fiance's sister she can't be in the wedding over a dress. That would haunt me for my entire life in a family that I am really not that close to in the first place. (They are a big, close family and not so welcoming to the significant others of their children/siblings) I wasn't willing to fight this battle so my other bridesmaids, since they love me, said they would return their dresses and we would start looking again.

The problem now is that they really don't like my fiance's sister. They already knew I was having trouble forming any kind of relationship with her and now that she has pulled this stunt, they are kind of done with her. I feel like it is going to make the rest of the wedding festivities really akward. Also, I'm not even comfortable talking to her about whatever new dress we pick out since she obviously was not comfortable enough with me to tell me that she was having trouble with the dress.

And I get that it's embarassing when something doesn't fit. MY dress didn't zipper all the way when I picked it up! So I sucked it up and started weight watchers and it already fits. It's not like she is obsese or anything.

So I have no idea how to proceed in dealing with her being in my wedding.

HELP!!
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Re: Dress Drama

  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_dress-drama-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:e1d0c1c7-092d-4649-92cd-e155720dc667Post:19baad25-5b20-406a-97bd-2ba2b00fb6ec">Dress Drama</a>:
    [QUOTE]I had a really bad incident with my bridesmaids this week. Over a month ago, we picked out the bridesmaid dresses.<strong> We actually ended up finding a dress that was exactly what we were looking for at Express</strong>, so it was within everyone's budget and was something they could definitely wear again. All of the girls were really excited about it. I should explain that one of my bridesmiads is my fiance's sister and we are not close. I really only asked her to be in the wedding because I fully expected by fiance to have my brother as a groomsman. She was worried the dress wouldn't fit her because she has big boobs and thinks she is fat (which she truly is not) but she got it in the biggest size and told me it was small but that she had already lost 6 lbs since she tried it on, was planning on losing more and that I should not worry about it. Last week, I was informed from my fiance (who was informed by his mother, who spoke to his sister) that the dress doesn't fit and that she refuses to try to lose weight, get it altered or try it with the proper undergarments. (She is really not a girly girl and I guarantee was not wearing a good bra when she tried it on.) She said that if I had my heart set on the dress, she wouldn't be in the wedding. Obviously, I can't tell my fiance's sister she can't be in the wedding over a dress. That would haunt me for my entire life in a family that I am really not that close to in the first place. (They are a big, close family and not so welcoming to the significant others of their children/siblings) I wasn't willing to fight this battle so my other bridesmaids, since they love me, said they would return their dresses and we would start looking again. The problem now is that they really don't like my fiance's sister. They already knew I was having trouble forming any kind of relationship with her and now that she has pulled this stunt, they are kind of done with her. I feel like it is going to make the rest of the wedding festivities really akward. Also, I'm not even comfortable talking to her about whatever new dress we pick out since she obviously was not comfortable enough with me to tell me that she was having trouble with the dress. And I get that it's embarassing when something doesn't fit. MY dress didn't zipper all the way when I picked it up! So I sucked it up and started weight watchers and it already fits. It's not like she is obsese or anything. So I have no idea how to proceed in dealing with her being in my wedding. HELP!!
    Posted by JessicaE84[/QUOTE]

    Pray tell, what exactly does this dress look like?
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  • TheDuckisTheDuckis member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Why don't you let your BMs keep the dresses they bought, and have your fSIL pick another similar dress that she's comfortable in? The wedding is still valid if the dresses don't match.
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  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Sorry you are having drama issues over dresses.to keep dress issues to a minimum with my ladies I picked out the color, they are picking out everything else and so far it's all been floor length chiffon gowns in the correct color.  We're having a formal evening spring wedding.  It's an idea that might help mitigate the drama.
    Report Reply
  • *Barbie**Barbie* member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_dress-drama-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:e1d0c1c7-092d-4649-92cd-e155720dc667Post:054c5148-fa59-48ee-9a5d-79cdbff435a9">Re: Dress Drama</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Dress Drama : Pray tell, what exactly does this dress look like?
    Posted by mrs.conn23[/QUOTE]

    <div>Bride from NJ, dress from Express, you do the math. :-D</div>
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  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    I don't understand why you need to put them all in the same dress.  Let the ones who like the dress wear it, let the one who doesn't wear something else, and move on.  I'm not sure why you made the other women return their dresses or why they're now so butthurt at FSIL over it.

    None of this makes much sense.
    �
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  • InksWellInksWell member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Is this one of Express's "Bodycon" knockoff's of the Herve Ledger bandage look?

    She isn't obligated to drop pounds for your wedding. So just take that expectation off of the table. Let her find a similar dress.The issue may not just be that the dress zips, but how exposed she feels wearing something so revealing.

    It sounds like you and your friends are purposely excluding her. This is future family and a potential friend for you at family gatherings. Stop being a brat, make nice, offer to go bra shopping with her.

    How is your FI getting along with your brother?
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  • flower_divaflower_diva member
    Tenth Anniversary 100 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    sounds like she doesn't like the dress. Why don't you give her the option of another dress in the same color,and if that still isn't working then ask her to be a reader or your personal attenadant.Give  her an important job to do, you will be thanksfull later on that you played nice,even if she hasn't. This is so not the time to make any enimies within the family as mit will haunt your relationship with your FI's family for the rest of your life.JMO
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  • AuntFloAuntFlo member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_dress-drama-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:e1d0c1c7-092d-4649-92cd-e155720dc667Post:c6ed5718-a24a-4933-ac21-185c7fdd872d">Re: Dress Drama</a>:
    [QUOTE]sounds like she doesn't like the dress. Why don't you give her the option of another dress in the same color,<strong>and if that still isn't working then ask her to be a reader or your personal attenadant.</strong>Give  her an important job to do, you will be thanksfull later on that you played nice,even if she hasn't. This is so not the time to make any enimies within the family as mit will haunt your relationship with your FI's family for the rest of your life.JMO
    Posted by flower_diva[/QUOTE]

    Whatever you decide, please do NOT ask her to be your personal attendant.
    �
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