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South Asian Weddings

Favors?

Have any of you done a donation instead of favors?  Been to a wedding that did this?  Will folks miss them?  I'd prefer to do a donation, but if it means I'm going to get chastized behind my back I might just give out something to avoid the drama.  Thoughts?

Re: Favors?

  • Meghana55Meghana55 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think it's perfectly acceptable to not do favors!  We had traditional south indian "favors" that were distributed after the ceremony, but we didn't do anything for the reception.  If it's a crappy favor, half the time I just leave it there.  I think a donation would be great!    If you do decide to do a favor, I'd go with something edible!
  • edited December 2011
    I've never been to one but I have heard of people doing it. Like having a card on each place setting saying something along the lines of "In lieu of favors, the couple has made a special donation to __________" I don't remember the exact wording but it was something like that. I know that at some SA functions I went to they made a donation to an orphanage in that country and people we not offended and thought it was a great idea. Sri Lankans have this traditional cake they give as favors so I have to stick to that but I agree the only favor I like is edible ones. Another friend of mine gave us jars of local honey which we still use in our tea or when a recipe calls for it.
  • edited December 2011
    As a guest, I'd sooooo much rather have the bride and groom donate to a charity instead of get a random knicknack to collect dust.  I feel like someone on here just recently did a favor where they donated money to give education to poor children in India.  What a beautiful idea and I wish I'd thought of it.  We completely skipped favors altogether, though (I go to a lot of weddings and I haven't gotten wedding favors in a long time!).  For the Hindu ceremony, my MIL gave out these silver peacocks from India, though.  As a matter of fact, I have like two dozen extras at home right now that I need to unload...
  • edited December 2011
    Was it Puja or dshroff that donated to ASHA?  I Think in their pics i saw something like that...   but i think its a nice idea if you are going to spend the moeny anyway i think its better used towards that.   we just gave out lindt chocolates in a personlized bag.  Nothing fancy, nothing that collects dust!
  • edited December 2011
    Shilps, I wish I were a guest at your wedding.  I LOVE Lindt chocolates and totally would have stolen everyone's favors.  Well, I would have done it subtly.
  • edited December 2011
    Yeah, we were thinking of just handing out laddoo, but the favor boxes alone were coming out around $2-3 each.  I sort of think I'd rather just put some laddoo out for people to eat and use the money that would go towards the boxes as a donation. 
  • edited December 2011
    We considered not doing any favors, and I THOUGHT that's what we ended up doing, but apparently the bangles I set out for the ladies (sets of 4 tied with a bow & in a basket next to all the seating cards) were a huge hit. I figured the guys never like favors anyway, and what's better than getting some jewelry? Well even some men pinned them to their suit jackets (like a bout) and the ladies got really excited to match their outfits and/or started competing with each other to see how many they could collect by the end of the night. Now they're still wearing them & I still get thanked for my cheapie, last minute favors. GL with your decision!
  • edited December 2011
    hi there!  we did donation favors for the wedding.  we seriously considered not doing favors at all, but my parents were insistent we do something.  i hate receiving knicknacks during weddings, only because i'm forever trying to de-clutter, so we went the donation route.here is the wording we used: "Thank you so much for sharing this special day with us!  As a token of our appreciation a donation has been made in your name to help ASHA for Education in its mission to provide basic education to underprivileged children in India."I had the same concerns as you in doing donation favors, and when I googled for wording options found that most often people didn't mind the donation so much it was more when couple wrote: "in lieu of favors".  HTH!
  • edited December 2011
    For the sangeet night we are having a basket of bangles and bindis for the ladies to match their outfits and take for the wedding/reception as well. For the reception, we are having a photobooth and we are using the pictures they take as their favors and then using the duplicates of the pictures as our guest book. So at each place setting I made little bookmark note that explains how to use the photobooth and bookmark sleeves to take the photo home in. Btw, this favor was a bit of a battle to get with the Indian parents because they didn't really get it (not sure if they will get it till the wedding) and they still wanted to give some sort of little Indian ganesha something or the other and I talked them out of it and said that this would be something new for the SA crowd and it will be fun too and not something they will just put in the back of their closet and forget. Hopefully they will agree post wedding :-)
  • neha1683neha1683 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I personally LOVE the idea.  One of my cousin's did that at her wedding last year, and I thought it was awesome.  She had little cute notes made up and put at each place setting.  It was very elegant and a great idea! At my wedding, we ended up actually doing favors for each events.  My parents and I had wanted to go with donations, but got a lot of resistance and criticism from some of my mom's friends when we mentioned the idea.  So to make all the greedy auntie's happy, we did silver favors....
  • erin&andyerin&andy member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
     I think it's a great idea!  If we were doing three favors (yes, we're crazy), then we might have considered doing something like that.As it is, we're taking the ferrero rocher chocolates and dressing them up to look like flowers (pib), giving out sandlewood fans tied w/ ribbon in our colors, and doing some Indian kum kum powder/turmeric favor.  We've gotten them all done except for the powders!
  • erin&andyerin&andy member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    correction, if we WEREN'T doing three favors, we might have considered a donation.
  • katie978katie978 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    erin where did you get the sandalwood fans?  and do they actually smell like sandalwood? PS You've been on my mind all week!!  Keep us posted on how you're doing!  :)
  • edited December 2011
    I was at an Indian wedding a few months ago where they had made a donation to something like a Muslim Relief Organization.  I thought it was fantastic.If I had my way, I'd not do favors at all, or a donation.  But my FILs felt very strongly that we had to give the guests something.  They said people would talk if they didn't do something.  So they went out and bought things without consulting us.  So maybe your parents will have a good idea about how your crowd would react?FYI, we're doing a photobooth, and my FMIL tells me they are huuuuge hits at the SA weddings she's been to with them.
  • edited December 2011
    I didn't want to do favors but my mother insisted - we got mini bud vases for couples and tealights that burn colored flames when lit for kids/singles. I like the tealights because they look really cool when you burn them. We just found our venue will give each guest a slice of wedding cake to take home, which we could have done as a favor if we'd known before, but too late. We're also giving out a bag after the ceremony filled with ladoos, kum kum, etc. Which reminds me, gotta get started on making those!
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