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Please help Me!!!

prettysmilemakeprettysmilemake
in Second Weddings
Hi brides!!!i'm married, but i am coordinating my BF's wedding ( her 2nd, his 3rd).  they have 5 children together, and i need some ideas to make the ceremony blend the familes together.  any suggestions?  it will be an outdoor wedding, sept, michigan.  also,  any poems or bible verses about blended familes would be great.  BTW-  all kids 14 and under.  youngest is 4.  thanks in advance
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Re: Please help Me!!!

  • pamila51510pamila51510
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Including children in the ceremony...Often marriage is viewed at the union of two persons. In reality, marriage is much broader. It is always a joining of families... We are in fact, all members of one family.As part of the family nature of this marriage, we recognize (childrens names) and their importance in this new union (bride) & (groom) woul like to now pledge their continuing love and support to (childrens names) . As they surround (them) with their arms of support.   Not big on it but they could do the sand ceremony as a family as well.  
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  • handfast4mehandfast4me member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I'm not a big fan of the kids being included in the wedding ceremony.  To me, as pp suggested, the WEDDING is between the two adults. The children are now a blended family, but that is something entirely different.  And I find the vows between children and the adults repulsive--reminds me of those chastity vows.  Ick.   A quick blessing by the officiant is fine, or if it's a civil ceremony, perhaps at the reception by a friend who is spiritual. 
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  • right1thistimeright1thistime member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Is that what they have ASKED you to do?  Or is it something that YOU think is a good idea?  I ask that because along with the PPs, I am not fond of the family vows concept, the family medallion, the sand ceremony or the whole gang unity candle.  My personal opinion is that blending a family takes a helluva lot more work than some magic ceremony activity.  So before you plan it, I would just make sure that it is what they want.  And for the kids (even the 4 year old) I would highly recommend getting their opinion.  A 12 or 13 year old girl who is moving into adolescence can make her lack of enthusiasm for an activity pretty apparent.  I wouldn't want that part of my wedding ceremony.  So if the bride, the groom and the children are all on the same page and want this as part of the wedding - then go for it.    I googled blended family wedding ceremony and got this http://www.2.a-weddingday.com/weddings/blendingfamilyweddingceremony.html and there were lots more.  Good luck. ~Donna
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  • futurestepmamafuturestepmama member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for asking this!  Do you guys have any tips for me?  I have a 9-year-old future step-daughter who would be devastated if she weren't a part, but my 12-year-old future stepson hates attention and I think it would honestly be hard for him to stand up there with us.  The 7-year-old boy is a ham, so as long as he has an audience, he's fine.  I don't want to just have my fsd in it and make my fss feel left out (he's shy but sentimental), but I don't want her to be disappointed.  It's a toss-up for me.I also hate the "magic" tricks, sand and everything else.  I'm thinking more along the lines of words or a gift.It's also just going to be our parents and my sis and brother-in-law.Doing something before or after and not having them there at all is another possibility.Thanks!
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  • right1thistimeright1thistime member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Futurestepmama - just ask them.  Talk to the 12 y.o. and perhaps give him some options. Doing a reading, being a groomsman or his dad's best man, responding "i will" to a request for a blessing, or just being a guest.  The ham may want to carry the rings, and the older sdd may want to be the one to hold your bouquet.  ~Donna
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