Dilemma about decliing to attend a wedding

Re: Dilemma about decliing to attend a wedding

• anglyn

  

  August 2009 edited December 2011

  A definite reason why Save the Dates are so popular.I would try to look around for a better flight.. If not, just let her know. I'm sure she'll understand about the cost. I would definetly send a nice gift in your place.

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• adgenya member

  

  August 2009 edited December 2011

  I am sure she would understand you not being able to make it. With flights and a gifts and food for the weekend, you'll be spending about $1000 for 48 hours. Send a nice gift and wish her well.

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• Lindze75

  

  August 2009 edited December 2011

  If she did send a Save the Date then she will be offended that you don't attend and the blame would fall on you for not booking an earlier flight or having your Bachelorette Party close to her day so you could make it one trip or something.If she didn't then she should understand.  She's not having to fly to your wedding (assuming she's invited).  A childhood friend of mine just got married this past Saturday in Oregon and I had looked and looked for a cheap flight but couldn't find anything affordable so it wouldve been $1000 for 48 hours as well so I send the RSVP and then followed up with her to let her know that we really wished we could be there etc.  I will be sending a gift though.

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• loanbpham

  

  August 2009 edited December 2011

  Thanks everyone. I will send her a gift and decline. I will invite her to mine and will understand if she can't attend. It would have been nice to get a Save the Date though.

  

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• karma007 member

  

  August 2009 edited December 2011

  I agree; a nice gift should take the sting out of it, and perhaps a well written note.

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• StefandTodd

  

  August 2009 edited December 2011

  I totally understand it's expensive, but honestly, I would be pretty hurt if I was your friend.  Especially since you can afford this other trip for yourself (bachelorette party).  When you told her a year ago and told her you were excited for her and would love to attend her wedding, why weren't you looking into flights then?  I mean, just b/c there was no formal paper STD, the date wasn't in need of saving to you? That said, we all know how much we love(d) getting the "decline" RSVPs, right?  Maybe she won't be that hurt.  And a nice gift, I'm sure, would be appreciated.

  

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• loanbpham

  

  August 2009 edited December 2011

  "I totally understand it's expensive, but honestly, I would be pretty hurt if I was your friend. Especially since you can afford this other trip for yourself (bachelorette party). "My bachelorette party was planned about a week after I announced my engagement...no joke. My MOH wanted it during the nice months of Chicago. That said, I was able to book way in advance for the flight which was about $200 and the price was only for one person. If I bought a ticket now it is a lot more expensive, plus you have to factor in my FI accompanying me as well."When you told her a year ago and told her you were excited for her and would love to attend her wedding, why weren't you looking into flights then? "I was not sure that I was getting invited and I was living in Boston at the time. I just moved here in late May. Flights from Boston to ORD are a lot cheaper than from SJC to ORD.

  

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• StefandTodd

  

  August 2009 edited December 2011

  I think she'll understand then.  I understood for anyone that had to fly to get to our wedding if they couldn't make it (one of my veeeeery good college friends from Alabama didn't, and she couldn't let me know until like 3 days AFTER my final count was due).  I'd chat with her at your b-party about it.  Hopefully she will be understanding.  GL!

  

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