Me/My Boyfriend and how I can incorporate mormonism into our wedding.

ellenyou · August 2009

I'm mormon, he's not. I'm from Boise/Salt Lake. He's from Columbus, Ohio. He drinks and I hate beer and he comes from a drinking family. I don't. We've been discussing marriage. I love him and I feel so happy and complete when I'm around him and with this bliss, I feel I can always grow and change and he'll be by my side. It has been a struggle, but he supports me in being mormon and I love him, even though he has no affiliation. I'm asking for some ideas about the wedding ceremon itself. What are some ways I can incorporate my beliefs into a wedding outside of the temple? Any traditions you think would work? Simple things we can incorporate, etc. Thanks for any advice!

Jesse'sGirl718 · August 2009

Have you looked on the Interfaith Wedding board? They might have some ideas that could help.

bablingbrooke · August 2009

Here's a thought: Wait to get engaged before you start planning the wedding.

Jesse'sGirl718 · August 2009

Wow. I missed that part of the post completely.

AnneAndJJ · August 2009

I know NOTHING about mormonism , so I can't help you at all. I agree though - get engaged first!

Leah&Christian09 · August 2009

Get engaged before you start wedding planning. It doesn't even sound like you are sure about whether you want to marry each other.

dukeylouise · August 2009

I should preface this by saying the only knowledge I have of mormonism is my first love was a guy who was hard-core mormon. We dated for almost 2 years and split up because he wanted me to convert. I went to church with him a couple times and decided it wasn't for me.You said:It has been a struggle, but he supports me in being mormon and I love him, even though he has no affiliation. You are mormon and I'm assuming that is not likely to change. If it is already a struggle for him to support you, that too is not likely to change. I don't know how much you plan to make your religion a part of your life, but I do know that my experience was my boyfriend's family did not allow many many things because of their religion. That could cause so many issues between the two of you, and even more so when you have kids. I would really re-think the relationship and where it was going, if it were me anyway.

shellybeth · August 2009

I come from a heavy populated mormon town. I just know they always get married at the temple, but since you can't do that what about just your mormon church?? And exclude the alcohol, except for maybe champane for the toast. Is he willing to convert to mormonism for you, or is that not an option at all? Once you start having children, how will you raise them? Just things to think about/talk about before you get married. And IMO (trying not to stereotype or sound mean, but this is like 90% true where I am from), it seems like mormons start dating someone for only a few months, get married, and start having kids pronto. You don't HAVE to do that you know.. how long have you been dating? There is absolutely no rush in my opinion (plus, if you are going to spend the rest of your lives together anyways why do you need to hurry and tie the knot?). Just take your time and make sure it is right and you two can live together and love each other without having religious conflicts all your life. Good luck.

betrothed123 · August 2009

Being married to someone who doesn't share your faith is never easy. It's even more difficult for people who are strict followers of a religion. My mom converted to a different religion when I was pretty young. My parents almost divorced over it because her change in beliefs changed a lot about our lives. Holidays were different, mealtimes were different, her way of worshipping god was different. It was really hard on them. You really need to sit down and think about this before you agree to marry him. Like the PPs have said, how do you plan on rasing your kids? Will they be raised in the mormon faith? Will you be okay with it if they don't go to church at all (if your BF is not religious), or going to a different church (if he does practice a different religion)? You're knowingly putting a lot of added stress into the marriage, even if you don't have kids. There's a reason many religions discourage marrying across religious lines.

jeannigirl · August 2009

I think that you really need to sit down and discuss all this with your BF. Religion is one of the biggest issues in a relationship and you both have to be on the same page. You have to think beyond just you and him. Where there be children in this mix someday? And what are they going to be raised in your religion and will that be acceptable to him? 9 times out of 10 that is a really big issue when it arises. It seems that you really need to talk about both of your beliefs and life choices if it will blend together and create a happy existence between the both of you. I would do all this before you start planning that wedding.

ellenyou · August 2009

Thanks guys. Don't worry, I'm not planning a wedding, before the engagement. We've been looking at rings and talking a lot about mormonism, churches, beliefs, the wedding (honeymoon!) etc. I really appreciate all your advice. I've talked with him even more about kids, families, relatives, and everything! It's been great. Mormonism isn't such a big part of my life anymore. I grew up in a great house and plan on keeping that for my kids. He's the same and the more I visit his home town, the more I appreciate him and his parents! I just home when I graduate and get married our families are on the same page as us. I've been thinking about it and every mormon wedding/reception I've celebrated hasn't had much that I want to copy, so I'm thinking about branching out on my own. You guys have really been there for me, thanks!

Me/My Boyfriend and how I can incorporate mormonism into our wedding.

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